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Original poster

I’m worried I’m not the dad.

65 replies

Wdmclh09 · 21/03/2020 19:17

Hi. How accurate are the dating scans because we’ve had ours and things don’t add up. We couldn’t have conceived when they have said because we had a week break from our relationship and the dating scan lands in that week! And to make things even more weird she said she had a period a few days after she conceived. I’m worried I’m not the dad

Any help on this please?????

OP posts:
PlainBritishFlour · 21/03/2020 19:46

But if I was a man. And had even a tiny doubt I would 100% do a DNA test quietly after the birth.

Lynda07 · 21/03/2020 19:48

Wdmclh09 Sat 21-Mar-20 19:24:49
I’ve tried having an honest chat but she’s says it’s mine and she’s not slept with anyone else. We did have sex 2 days after our Conceived date, could that be when we got pregnant? Or am I being taken for a mug?
......
Read what others have said on this thread, please. If someone is 12 weeks pregnant they did not become pregnant 12 weeks ago, more likely ten.

Believe her unless you have real concerns, it must be stressful for a woman to be doubted like this.

By the way, you did not become pregnant, she did.

Cynara · 21/03/2020 19:48

I know exactly the date I conceived (DP and I are both shift workers, we were very rarely in the same place at the same time so it was easy to pinpoint...) the EDD was 2 weeks out. Midwives we're having none of it and insisted that DS was delivered at 40+12 when I was certain that he wasn't overdue. Unless you have very good reasonvto accuse your OH of cheating on her night out, I would be very careful about going down that road. She'll have every reason to completely lose her shit over an accusation like that if she's innocent and you're basing it on your clueless assessment of her dates.

Interested in this thread?

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Families
CodenameVillanelle · 21/03/2020 19:48

Is there any other reason why you think your partner would a) have cheated and b) be trying to pass off someone else's baby as yours? Because that's quite an extreme thing to believe.

Dating scans are not accurate. Women can also bleed after conception.

chuck7 · 21/03/2020 19:51

The dates are in no way accurate. I can be two weeks either side really

AnotherMurkyDay · 21/03/2020 19:54

I knew the date I conceived with one of mine and still got given a few different due dates

Original poster
Wdmclh09 · 21/03/2020 19:55

Thank you so much everyone for the advise. It’s been going on in my head for sometime now but I just didn’t want to entertain it as you can imagine. I thought the scans were bang on and that it meant it wasn’t mine because dates didn’t add up and all I’ve wanted was a baby so thank you x

OP posts:
Irial · 21/03/2020 19:56

It's a bit over the top to think she has cheated on you and got pregnant on a night out

How old are you both?

RandomMess · 21/03/2020 19:57

If she was 12 weeks pregnant she conceived around 10 weeks prior to that because they assume conception was 2 weeks after your last period.

Also sperm can live for several days and take those several days to meet the egg and actually start conception.

Original poster
Wdmclh09 · 21/03/2020 19:57

No I didn’t go at her I just say her down and expressed my concerns because of the dates and she didn’t really know ether so that’s why I’m asking on here

OP posts:
Catworrier · 21/03/2020 19:59

I had a one night stand on 31st dec. Not my finest hour. But they told me my conception date was 13th Jan. interesting as I hadn't had sex since 31st dec until the day my child was born!

All in all, it's not accurate.

Notquiteagandt · 21/03/2020 20:02

I had 6 scand before 12wks and got a diff date each time. The date they finally decided on was 2wks out from when my last period would of made it. Also when i was other side world on a work trip.

So they can be quite out. Also sperm can live for upto a week. So of you had sex just before you broke up 🤷‍♀️

yulertula · 21/03/2020 20:03

It's impossible to know the exact date of conception as sperm can live upto 5 days in woman, and it's a long journey from entry to fertilisation and implantation.

This video is quite good at showing that process and why it's impossible to have a definitive date of conception:

It's not a great foundation for a relationship if you think your girlfriend is cheating on you.

Onceuponatimethen · 21/03/2020 20:04

They are quite inaccurate. Mine said I had conceived my baby ten days before we had (I knew the only date we could have in those weeks).

CalleighDoodle · 21/03/2020 20:06

@Wdmclh09 Just to do another check. At the 12 week scan, when a woman is 12 weeks pregnant, do you know that means she conceived 10 weeks ago?

At the scan, did you expect her to be 10
Weeks pregnant and it has confused you when you were told 12?

CodenameVillanelle · 21/03/2020 20:07

You're lucky she didn't kick your arse out for asking tbh
I would have

madcatladyforever · 21/03/2020 20:13

None of these dates are dead accurate so you really cannot be drilling your partner about this because if it is yours thast will be the end of your relationship.
It could well be yours, so please don't hassle your partner just get on with it although I can see how this is going to prey on your mind the whole time - tricky one.
When the baby comes you can take a quick DNA swab and send it off without your partner even knowing.
What concerns me more is that there seems to be no trust in your relationship.
Surely your partner must be intelligent enough to know about DNA tets so what would be the point of lying about it when the truth will out.
I would address the trsut in your relationship right now, ask her for complete honesty because if you find out in 9 months this baby isn't yours it isn't going to be pretty.

JasonBrun · 21/03/2020 20:13

If you don't trust her enough to believe her then you shouldn't be having a child together.

If my husband ever suggested anything of the sort he would be out on his arse.

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 21/03/2020 20:15

OP If you count 10 weeks back does it land at a time you're confident with?

Original poster
Wdmclh09 · 21/03/2020 20:15

We was later than we thought we was and with it landing in that week off it throws us both tbh. They gave us the due date and how many weeks she was so I counted back at it was in the week we wasn’t together

OP posts:
dogcatbaby · 21/03/2020 20:15

We started trying on a Monday. Fell pregnant first "go" but the scan date said I fell pregnant the Friday before we started trying. Definitely did not get pregnant then as before we started trying we hadn't had sex for a few weeks.

If its a couple of days out I wouldn't worry.

Doesn't sound like you trust her though?

pollysproggle · 21/03/2020 20:16

Dating scans are not that accurate. My husband is definitely the father of my baby and I know exactly when I conceived as we were actively trying with ovulation strips etc and tracking in an app when we had sex.
Dating scan put me nearly a week ahead and would have worked out to a time we had no sex at all.

CalleighDoodle · 21/03/2020 20:27

@Wdmclh09 you're still not being detailed enough with your response.

How many weeks pregnant were you told she was?
How many weeks ago did you split up and she have a night out?
And also that still wont be accurate.

TenPenceMix · 21/03/2020 20:28

Exactly! Like the pp's have said sex dates and conception dates are totally different. Sperm can live inside the woman for quite a while.. 3 days? And then conception happens probably some point while the woman is doing the hoovering 😂

newmumwithquestions · 21/03/2020 20:30

counting back 12 weeks is the first day of her last period

Count back roughly 10 weeks and that's around conception

^^ this
Also my scan was a week out. Fertility treatment so I was very very sure of my dates!

But as pp have said you don’t sound like you trust her. None of us can say if you’re right to feel that way or not.

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