Stupid argument. What now?

[Howmanysleepsnow]

So, went for a day out today. The plan was to go for a walk round a NT place. The woman in the ticket office showed ds some places on the map. I asked DH if we could detour to see them. He said we were meant to be going for a walk. I told DS we’d see them another time as daddy wanted to go for a walk. Maybe not the best way to put it, but I wasn’t trying to place blame and didn’t see it as anything more than a factual answer (so that’s my error). Anyway, it blew up into a huge argument and we went home. DH hasn’t spoken to me really for 7 hours now except to say he hAtes me and never to speak to him again. Being me, I tried to talk (several times, I’m either an eternal optimist and believe it’ll help or never learn from my mistakes depending on whose POV you take) but that ended very badly with DH throwing things (food, nothing heavy) and saying he hates me and will kill me if I speak to him again. (Dc not present).
Where do I go from here? I’ve apologised, but it made things worse. I don’t have the best communication skills admittedly. Is there any way forward? How do I fix this? It all seems so stupid, can’t believe it’s blown up into this.

Does Daddy always rule the family with fear?

He sounds appalling.

A complete over reaction to a persevere criticism.

Is this the first you are seeing this side to him?

Ps stop apologising; he should come grovelling.

YOU don't have the best communication skills??

You leave.
I can’t see how you can think anything else is an option. Stay with friends for a couple of nights at least.

except to say he hAtes me and never to speak to him again.. .DH throwing things (food, nothing heavy) and saying he hates me and will kill me if I speak to him again

What the actual fuck? He said these things?

This. Is. Not. Normal. Or. Ok.

What a total arse. He'll kill you and he hates you? Has he got form for this sort of behaviour Op?

Complete over the top reaction from him is he always like this? I'd be packing him a bag unless you think he really could do something in which case I'd pack me and kids up and leave. Hope you're ok

If my husband told me he'd kill me if I spoke to him again, he'd be gone all his stuff packed and left outside the door with a note telling him to kindly f**k off!!

with DH throwing things (food, nothing heavy) and saying he hates me and will kill me if I speak to him again.

What the ever-loving fuck?!!?!?!?! You do realise you're in an abusive relationship, yes?

What adult shouts at someone that they hate them and that they will kill them? Can you just get him some divorce papers? No need to talk to him to tell him what they’re for.

Not the first time. But not often. Maybe once a year.
He is stressed at the moment about his business. I try my best to help. I don’t contribute much money as he can’t mind the dc much, so I can’t do many hours. I know it annoys him, but I can’t work more due to childcare. He pays for 2/3 of everything.

Never said that before.
Hoping it’s just stress.

I don't give a shit how much stress he's under at the moment, his words and behaviour are awful!

Oh, not the first time?

I would be seriously worried for my safety and looking for somewhere else to stay at least till no calms down.

Seriously, would you stay under the same roof with anyone else who says he hates you and will kill you?

Is your DH Kevin The Teenager? What a total dick. You & your son don't need this. Is there anywhere else you can stay tonight?

None of what you've said explains or excuses his behaviour.

I'd have him out of that door, staying away from me and his kids until he gets some kind of help.

Death threats? If you talk to him again? So so not normal, even for someone who's 'stressed'. He's either massive out of order or he needs professional help. Maybe both.

Abusive and unacceptable. Thats what I meant. The word awful isn't bad enough.

What do you do? You leave him. You have kids, you can't stay in an abusive relationship.

Stress does not make normal people threaten to kill their spouse.

It's scary how accepting you sound of all this, and how naturally it seems to come to you to blame yourself for everything he does.

Stop trying to normalise or excuse this behaviour, OP (I promise I’m saying that kindly. I’m not victim-blaming but Jesus Christ, stop it right now). In no scenario is that language and behaviour ok.

Yes, it’s awful. But not normal. I want to fix this

He's threatened to kill you OP. The thought of killing you crossed his mind, he allowed it to enter his head, he thought about it and then he went as far as to say those words. Think about that.

He's abusing you. Who the fuck does he think he is?

Your children are absorbing this.