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Ridiculous ‘calling in sick’ reasons

187 replies

Sofacat · 06/03/2020 20:04

A member of staff has called in sick with a bit of a Hmm reason and it reminded me of a young member of staff years ago who called in sick with jet lag - they’d been to Ireland .

Any one else with daft reasons for calling in sick ?

OP posts:
midsomermurderess · 09/03/2020 18:39

Not even phones in, emails.

Strawberrycreamsundae · 09/03/2020 19:05

Had a staff member who sadly lost his grandmothers, six times his excuse was to attend his grandmothers’ funeral.....

Snugglepumpkin · 09/03/2020 19:15

Someone I used to work with had to call in sick because an elephant had landed on the bonnet of their car on a UK country lane.

They had trouble with their insurance claim for this as well even though they had the police report.
Car was a write off & he had to be cut out of it.

The elephant had 'run away' from the circus.

Same guy also had to call in sick a few years later because he purchased a trifle in a plastic bowl in a motorway service station & the bowl cracked, the shard of plastic went into his mouth & cut the back of his throat severely enough that hospital was involved.

Graphista · 09/03/2020 19:39

“who called in sick with jet lag - they’d been to Ireland” 😂😂😂 you’ve kinda gotta admire the nerve!!

I once had to call in late as my then housemate had accidentally locked me in! Yale lock, she didn’t know you could double lock them and had a bad habit of putting her key in the lock on her way out so she didn’t forget them (previous bad habit!) and lock herself out! She’d then turned the key and unwittingly locked me in! Sodding bank holiday too so couldn’t get hold of either her or landlord. Weirdly boss believed me as they knew housemate, but also knew me and that I wasn’t a flaky cf! What was also lucky was boss knew housemates boss and managed to get hold of her (pre mobile phone days and she had a community based job visiting patients at their homes, her boss knew her call list and managed to track her down)

But the best one I know of was a relative who was caught out. They’d called in sick with upset stomach or whatever - and then appeared on the local bloody news! They were involved in a protest march and AGREED to speak to a reporter covering so not even accidentally caught out! Idiot!

@TerrorWig errr adult humans can get colic! I’m an ex nurse, Google “biliary colic” can be incredibly painful and to be honest even with your painfully obviously backtracking updates it just sounds like you didn’t like this person full stop and if they were genuinely ill you wouldn’t have believed them. Even stomach upset and painful “gas” can be incredibly painful and debilitating. I have ibs and if I eat something that triggers it accidentally what happens is strictly speaking “just” indigestion but it’s damn painful! Trapped wind can be painful enough to convince people they’re having a heart attack I’ve seen this happen and they’re genuinely shocked when a massive burp or fart massively relieves the pain. I’ve had trapped wind many times myself, I also have endo and a physical disability and that has at times been more bloody painful than the endo!

That isn’t a ‘fucking idiot’ thing to do in the slightest. Anyone who lived through the days of IRA bombs would know that. totally agree! Especially as someone who was an army brat in those years and witnessed the devastation of the losses of several friends fathers.

On the flip side I had a wonderfully understanding boss when I had my 2nd mc who when I eventually went back to work after several weeks off (it was very complicated and I had to have 3 surgeries in the end a long recuperation period plus the emotional stuff) and I was still in probationary period too. She actually had a rep as a “dragon lady” but I got on great with her. When I went back she asked if I was absolutely sure I was ready, wasn’t phased when through tears I said I needed the distraction actually, and said to me if at any point I felt I’d come back too early to come straight to her office, bypass supervisor and she’d get me home and sort any issues. When a few months later I suffered an ovarian torsion (possibly due to surgeries) she was in my office when the pain struck and literally caught me as I fainted. When I came around she’d called an ambulance, I was worried it was another mc/ectopic and was in bits, then dh was proving hard to contact and she promised to stay with me in the ambulance if he didn’t get there in time. Fortunately he did. Again when I went back she was lovely and very concerned when I got pregnant with dd about a year later she was very protective of me and had me moved into an office where I wasn’t alone. When I had to leave that job due to ex’s posting (he was army) I was heartbroken.

One time for me was really weird, I went into managers office to say I was going home sick and I honestly replied “I don’t know I just don’t feel right at all” normally you’d expect resistance but he took one look at me and offered to drive me home! I didn’t know it at the time but I had a dreadful case of flu but didn’t have normal symptoms I just didn’t feel “right” wasn’t until the next day I got classic symptoms including lots of vomiting! When I went back and asked him why he’d believed me and taken me home he said himself he couldn’t put his finger on it I wasn’t particularly pale or anything (I’m very pale anyway colouring wise) but he just had a strong feeling I wasn’t at all well. He came down with the same himself a few days later and his wife had a similar experience the morning he first called in sick, he didn’t look or have obvious symptoms of being ill she just really strongly felt he shouldn’t go into work - which possibly saved him from serious injury or worse as we worked in a factory and he operated one piece of heavy machinery with rotating blades!!

Binterested · 09/03/2020 19:55

I would totally stop the trains for an unattended package. That’s what a 70/80s childhood in London will do for you!

In fact I told everyone to get off a tube carriage about a year ago. Large suitcase with no one on sight appearing to own it. Only about 8 people in the carriage - I called out ‘Whose is this?’ in a matronly manner and walked up the carriage asking but nobody declared ownership so I told everyone to get off the carriage - most were foreign so not quite sure what was going on. We were just getting off and I was heading to the emergency alarm button when a dozy tourist at the end of the carriage piped up that it was his. He was sitting 20 ft from it and had not heard my question or realised the significance. I would totally do it again.

amazedmummy · 09/03/2020 20:02

I just remembered another one. I worked in a cinema while I was at uni and a woman came in and asked to speak to a manager. As was standard we asked what the issue was to make sure we couldn't help her first. She said that my colleague had asked her to come in and let someone know that she'd ran him over!

Hendalle · 09/03/2020 20:13

Not me but a colleague. He would regularly call in sick with unfortunate incidents such as “ I broke my thumb in my sleep” when in reality he’d been out on some bender the night before and was still drunk when he called in...
Manager didn’t discipline or even have an informal chat with him.. everyone was aware of what he was doing (on occasion he came to work still drunk and reeking of booze). He’d turn up at some point with no broken digits or limbs...

timetochangeagainforever · 09/03/2020 20:16

Some of these are sooo funny. My friend called in sick saying he was distraught that his best friend and flat mate (our mutual friend) had got killed in a motorbike crash. He hadn't - he's 53 now and very well. Bad man doing that!

Jessie9323 · 09/03/2020 20:21

A man I work with was driving to a course 2 hours away, he was nearly there but coughed 3 times so decided he would turn around and drive home. It was years ago, not Coronavirus related 😂

MuddyPuddlesAndPrettyBubbles · 09/03/2020 20:23

I was late for work once, because when I arrived at work I realised I had lifted the baby changing bag instead of my work bag with my ID, building swipe card and uniform Blush had to drive home, swap bags and try again. I wasn't long back from maternity leave, doing shifts with a dreadful sleeper of a baby, it's surprising I didn't make more stupid mistakes than I did.

Binterested · 09/03/2020 20:24

Oh another one. Colleague had had an Epsom salts bath and it had taken it out of her Hmm

thegirlwhowaited · 09/03/2020 20:30

I’m another one who would have no qualms about reporting unattended packages and my last one was only about 9 months ago.

Getting targeted does that to you.

Katieweasel · 09/03/2020 20:51

My DH once managed to poke himself in the eye so badly that it entirely closed up and he couldn't see. I begged him to ring into work with another excuse but no, he rang in and was the man who couldn't come to work because he had poked himself in the eye.

FeckaDecka · 09/03/2020 21:18

@managedmis a coldsore is not justified

CandiceSucksCandy · 09/03/2020 22:01

I was monumentally late once as halfway through my train journey commute I realised I was still wearing my slippers. There were a few smirks coming my way from other passengers.
I did take a photo and email it my boss to prove my claim.

Longdistance · 09/03/2020 22:23

The lady who has the same job title as me, but part time and does way less than me wrt any workload, phones in sick at a drop of a hat. I have to pick up her work, which isn’t masses but a royal pita as I’m busier than her. She phoned in once for a headache. Really? Just take some paracetamol and get your arse in!

Elouera · 09/03/2020 22:27

A work colleague claimed a women on the tube seat opposite vomited so violently that it went all over her and even inside her shoes!!! It might have been true though, but taking a whole day off was unjustified.

Christmadtree · 09/03/2020 22:30

"I can't come in today, maybe not for a few days, as I can't find my shoes and I live alone"

"my Mrs caught me watching porn and chucked her straighteners at me, I've got a V burned into my forehead and too embarrassed to come in"... Tbf with that one he did have the burn mark when he eventually turned up a week later.

"I can't come in as my twin has a migraine and I feel his pain"... Both twins worked in the same place on opposite shifts, both were signed off for YEARS.

PeppaTheFirst · 09/03/2020 22:36

I once worked with a colleague who was on a temporary contract. It was then decided the post would become a permanent one. She really wanted this job. However, she took the day off to do her application form...and was honest that this was the reason for her absence!! She didn't get the job. She had also taken another full day off work to take her son to a dentist appointment. Local dentist and appointment was the routine check up!!

Schuyler · 09/03/2020 23:39

“I’m too fat to fit in my clothes.”

She’d probably gained a little weight, but had been wearing clothes the entire time up until then and nobody had ever noticed her looking like she was going to burst out of them.

She returned after a few days “sick” and I’m sure she was wearing the same clothes she claimed to be too fat to fit into. I don’t know if she had some kind of eating disorder or another issue. It was a one off and she was otherwise a great colleague and didn’t take the piss.

Lillygolightly · 09/03/2020 23:46

I once called in sick on my very first day of a job, I had done 2 rounds of interviews and was very happy to get the job. Day before I was due to start I got a sore throat but thought nothing of it. Next morning I wake up and have completely lost my voice, I had a mortifying phone call to new boss where I tried to explain via a series of squeaks what was going on. That sore throat turned out to be a horrendous chest infection that laid me out for weeks. I was so embarrassed about it I never did end up starting that job.

I didn’t ring in sick for this one but I was late in. It was raining heavily and I had quiet a walk from the train station to my office. During the walk from the train my boots got so sodden and wet the soles detached and were flapping around tripping me up and soaking my feet. Luckily worked in the city centre so could dive into a shop to quickly replace ruined and sodden boots. Got to work just 20 minutes late and had kept my boots to show my boss my evidence for my lateness.

Most stupid and embarrassing reason for not going into work was that whilst serving up dinner at home the night before I had tripped up over the rug whilst carrying a plate of hot chilli and a glass of water. With my hands full I was unable to save myself and went flying head first into the fireplace smashing the plate into my face. I ended up In A&E for stitches, 2 black eyes and a fat lip....I was not a pretty sight!! I still have scars from that one.

Whyhaveidonethis · 10/03/2020 00:03

I had an employee ring to say they couldn't come in as their ex wife's nan had died and she needed to visit the body at the hospital? Hmm

I literally have no idea what that had to do with him (it was a school day so no childcare issues and they didn't get on).

Vallderama · 10/03/2020 00:16

Thrush. Except she called it Candida, presumably to make it sound more like a legitimate illness.

salsmum · 10/03/2020 00:49

I work as a community Carer and a Carer that I often crossed shifts with was very good at his job but both him and his wife seemed to always be falling down stairs in their house Hmmas 'proof' one day that his wife was injured he sent a screenshot of the hospital A&E waiting time board he didn't notice that the phone screen shot was dated 6 months earlier 🤣🤣🤣

BelfastNonBlonde · 10/03/2020 03:58

I was had to call off sick for a week (Uni bar job) because I burned my whole body so badly in a sunbed.

It was so bad my mum had to take me away for a few days into hiding where I couldn’t wear any clothes and was just constantly lathered in cream.

God knows what work thought when I came back lobsterfied. I think I did eventually spill what had happened.

Thank god my (rare) sunbed days are now over!