Ridiculous ‘calling in sick’ reasons

[Sofacat]

A member of staff has called in sick with a bit of a reason and it reminded me of a young member of staff years ago who called in sick with jet lag - they’d been to Ireland .

Any one else with daft reasons for calling in sick ?

Music teacher off sick for 3 weeks with bad lower back pain could barely walk or stand. On Facebook promoting his band playing 4 nights a week at local venues- with photos of him on stage with a bass guitar strapped to him at hip level.

When I was pregnant I couldnt sleep. I'd have 2 - 4 hours on average a night throughout the whole pregnancy and as you can imagine I was exhausted. When I spoke to my midwife she said I should just ring in sick to work, so I laughed and said with what reason? She genuinely suggested I should just tell them I was tired. Yes I was tired, I was exhausted, eventually a doctor signed me off for 5 weeks with something else pregnancy related but can you imagine ringing in sick every day that you was tired?!

Squeezed too much toothpaste out of the tube this morning ...and it took me ages to get it back in.

I'm an education welfare officer and have heard all the sick excuses under the sun. Someone once told me their child couldn't come to school because their chakras were out of alignment

I had a kid in my form (teacher) come back from being off with a note saying he'd been due to get a cold. Another, a 14 year old girl brought a note in to say she'd had a cold, and by the way traceys pregnant. Another was she couldn't go to the toilet and had to stay off

I managed a woman who had one week off sick because an eye infection from false eyelashes meant she couldn't wear her false eyelashes. Seriously...

P

The lady who did my job before me apparently called in sick because there was a dead fox in her front garden and she couldn’t bear to walk past it 🙄

Nits. Honest to God, nits.

If you think these are bad, try some of the reasons parents give for their children's absences from school.

"X won't be in today due to anxiety caused by The Incident yesterday" when The Incident turns out to be that X got less than an A for their homework because they'd scribbled half a side of twaddle instead of turning in a proper essay.

"Y wasn't in from Tuesday-Thursday as she had sickness and diahorrea" yet Y bravely ventured out to the Little Mix gig(s) in city 40 miles away on Monday and Tuesday nights, and posted on Instagram to prove it.

"Z arrived 2 hours late as he wouldn't eat his cornflakes so had to remain at table until he'd finished them." Z was 16 at the time.

Hilarious post😂🤣😂
Storing some of these for future reference!

I called in sick one Monday morning to say sorry I was late, and that I couldn't come in to work because I'd been bitten on the finger by a kitten.

While I was on the phone I could tell that they were thinking Oh yeah, pull the other one. I then had to explain that I was calling them from A&E and the doctor had just told me that they were going to have to admit me and put me on an antibiotic drip. The kitten bite had gone septic, my whole arm had swelled up and I had blood poisoning.

Years ago now, a colleague called in sick because she had colic.

Colic.

She was neither 3 months old nor a horse, so I don't know why this was an issue for her

The pain you get with gallstones is colic, so maybe a genuine reason there.

Terror, in fairness I had, what was diagnosed a colic at 15 & the pain was hideous I couldn’t sit, stand, lie down comfortably for anything longer than about 5 minutes.

I had a colleague call in sick once because she didn’t like driving her dh’s car. She only worked 10-2 & he’d taken her car to work that morning as his had had an early MOT. Boss asked what she’d have done if it had failed the MOT & she said get the bus but she couldn’t possibly do that when the car was on the drive

Someone I managed in a previous role called me to say that he couldn't come to work because he had a massive spot on his chin, and looked so hideous that customers would surely recoil in horror if presented with it.

Reader, he came to work

There was a huge thread recently about a woman 3months into a job with her probation extended because of missing training due to sickness.

2 days per month for bad periods and then 5 days off for a cold.

She was genuinely surprised her probation was extended

My husband used to take daily calls from various staff. We called it the sick lame and lazy list as always the same few people and excuses were ridiculous. They’d put on funny hoarse voices to tell him about a sprained ankle.

Had a colleague call in sick once because there was a huge spider by her front door and she was terrified.

The lady who called in sick because it was the anniversary of a famous person's death. That they had no connection to.

I once had someone call in to say that they had accidentally driven in the wrong direction on the motorway for half an hour and ended up in a different city.

@PhoneTwattery, to be fair, if I worked in an office and someone had nits, I'd rather they stayed at home and sorted then out rather than came in and shared them around!!

*them

To be fair I was once late for work because there was a (what appeared to be human) poo in my tube carriage and they had to take the train out of service... my boss told me he didn’t care if it was true or not because it was an excellent excuse. It was actually true!

I almost called in sick a couple of years ago when my guinea pig died. I’d had her ages and came down to find her dead that morning. I was worried about leaving my other guinea pig alone as she’d be grieving

Thankfully I realised just before dialling that this probably wasn’t a great reason to be off work so I pulled myself together and went in anyway.

I did love those little guinea pigs though.