SIL and BIL really struggling with two young children

[BowermansNose]

I'm interested in tips that might help my SIL and BIL. They live a long way from the family (think another continent), and have two DCs (8 months and 2.5), who are healthy. We don't have children, so it's hard to get a bit of perspective, and so I was interested in views, and tips on how we can help them.

SIL doesn't work and has been a SAHM since the birth of their eldest. BIL has quite a flexible job. They are really perfectionist, so for example, breakfast takes around 2 hours from start to finish (smoothies, freshly made pancakes). This means BIL doesn't get to work until 11am. His work is less than pleased and his contract has not been renewed (understandably). Not only that, but SIL and BIL don't shower more than once or twice a week (saying they don't have time for it, with two children).

From the outside, they seem to be in a real mire, but they can't seem to find a way out. We visited them recently, but they seem to find everything so difficult. As a result, their finances are in a poor state, they're cooped up in a flat (as SIL finds it hard to leave the house with two children) and they have no family nearby. They are looking to move back home, but with no money, it's really hard. Any advice would be welcome.

OP there is a living overseas section on Mumsnet.
You could ask for English speaking mental health support in their country on that board.
It is unusual that English speaking support can't be tracked down in most expat situations.
This couple have significant mental health issues that need supported.
Do either of them recognize this?

Crikey...I'm reading this wanting to tell you to back off and let them be adult enough to access the therapy they need and work their way back to reality. But I don't know that they're going to achieve the insight that they aren't ok unless they see it. So, my advice for you is to push on through any thoughts about not understanding parenting because you're not a parent, and start challenging them on behaviour that you hear them talking about and feel confused. Also, there is a lot of conflicting advice for parents so it's easy to just lose touch, they'll come back. It sounds like they might just need a bit of time and space to do that.

I'm surprised that there's no English speaking help available in the E Asian country . My experience is that there are many Filipina maids doing jobs like that for foreigners.

When they get back I think that they will be impossible to babysit for because nobody will be looking after the kids the way that they think they should be looked after