Fart humour

[QueenOfOversharing]

I am a 52 yr old woman who still finds farts fucking hilarious. I can recall specific periods of my childhood by some sort of fart-related memory.

1. my granny making my DB & I leave the room to fart, so we literally opened the door, stuck our arses in the general direction of the hallway & let rip.

2. my DF bought this incredible house (with its own loch... fancy) & when we visited he would announce fart competitions. I often won. There was no prize, if we discount skidmarks.

Anyway, I was prompted to start a thread in honour of the funniest type of humour - farts (and/or anything bum related).

To get the ball rolling, I have set the bar quite high:

twitter.com/vinnybrack/status/1233784343048273922?s=21

That is one talented man!
Do you know the limerick about the farting competition? www.monologues.co.uk/Anonymous/Farting_Contest.htm

@MirenaManiac 😂 I am such a child!
Oh & I promise I'm not the fart troll 🤭

m.youtube.com/watch?v=2rFLEECcB60
This still makes me laugh til I cry!

It’s not big, it’s not clever, but farts are always funny

This one is hands down the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time, I can’t stop watching it! It’s surprisingly hard to guess the fart before it comes as well

www.instagram.com/p/B7lPjAKIcpn/?igshid=13gn5mat6v7em

@ActualHornist this is my new favourite thing ever!!! I may try this out. How will I ever stop watching?

I know there's only a few of us (come out lurkers), but I'm glad we have each other to share farts @MirenaManiac @puppylambkins @ActualHornist 💨💨💨💨💨💨

I'm named after the ultimate in fart humour, the female fart.
Loud, unexpected, embarrassing and tuneful.
Just like me.

I remember a friend of mine's daughter starting school and coming home one day to tell a tale of when they were in class having a "quiet story session" listening to the teacher.

"Mrs Teacher was reading a story to us. When it was really quiet Joshua farted... and NOBODY laughed!" She was most incredulous and so was I... what is the world coming to when you don't laugh at inappropriately timed farts?!

@TheQueef and sometimes moist

@CharmingB I would have withdrawn my child from a school like that. Who are these monster children?

@QueenOfOversharing I’m glad you like it! My sister sent it to me, I just have watched it over forty times thus far and we tried our best to recreate when she visited the other week

My mum was disgusted. How she bred two girls like us I don’t know.

“To fart, to fart, it is no crime,
It gives the stomach ease.
It warms the bed in winter time,
And suffocates the fleas!”

I've farted.
I've farted.
I've made my trousers cough.
I've whistled in my Yfronts.
I've just peeled one off.
I've blown my bloody brains out.
I've been eating beans.
I let one go, I've dropped my guts, open the window please.

Unknown source but my theme tune age 5 to 59

@ActualHornist hahaha! I'm known and widely regarded for my trouser trumpets. Am on a meal replacement diet and omfg the farts are huge. Big, loud, explosive. Sound like they're coming out of the arse of a giant.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius @TheQueef 😂😂😂

Ask Alexa to fart. Keeps my kids entertained for hours.

@inwood I was at a friend's house who has Alexa & she started talking about farts, overhearing me talking about farts (see! I am that person). We turned it up & she just kept asking g which farts to play. I may have wet myself.

I've farted.
I've farted.
I've made my trousers cough.
I've whistled in my Yfronts.
I've just peeled one off.
I've blown my bloody brains out.
I've been eating beans.
I let one go, I've dropped my guts, open the window please.

Unknown source but my theme tune age 5 to 59

That was a song by Ivor Biggun!

If your bottom burps in public
Try to say in time,
Goodness grace what a whiff
It doesn't smell like mine.

That was on a birthday card someone once sent me - they know me so well.

Son once farted in class, teacher said 'now what do you say' and he replied hmmm smells beautiful.

@Brahumbug
Aha! I knew it was overheard because of the tune seems I picked up my catchy cucumber song from Ivor too!

I've always found them to be hilarious. We have a downstairs toilet and whenever FIL comes over to stay and needs to go for a wee, we pause the film and wait for him. He often does series of uncontrollable little trumps and we hear them and my husband shouts 'did you say something dad' 🤣🤣 it gets me everytime. Also have a brilliant memory of being at my daughters karate grading and a women say mid forties was doing her demo to get her black belt and on presenting a high kick she let rip 🤣🤣 I howled and everyone looked at me.

My parents use to make me go out into the hall as well to do a windy pop as my mother called it

@Isolemnlyswear was that Purple Ronnie? I think I had the same card!

@ShellsandSand we are the same person! My brother was in toilet at a club, guy came in & was as using urinals - the bloke let out a huge, wet fart & my brother was hysterical in the stall. The guy went nuts & was kicking the door. When my brother came out he was red faced, crying laughing. Took him 10 mins to tell us. 😂

I don't understand ppl who don't find them funny.

@Femail windy pop 😂