Talk me through this - male on placement with brownies

[nevernotstruggling]

The dds have been to the same brownie unit for around 4 years (dd1 waiting to move up to guides). I know the leaders quite well and there has been one staff changeover in that time. The communication with parents has been excellent. I have felt safe letting the dds go on sleepovers knowing that I know all the adults involved. It's actually been brilliant in terms of safeguarding. No surprises or anything parents haven't been informed of. The dds love it. Dd2 is thriving there because it's a small closed group where she feels safe and familiar.

I dropped the dds off this week and a man came up to dd1 touches her shoulder and said 'you're it' I said to brown owl - who is that?? She replied oh it's Dave (not his name obvs). Me - who is Dave??? BO - he's on work placement (something about youth work) . Me - Er is he DBS checked?? BO- yes. Me- Brownies is a girls group!! BO - we have dads helping! No they don't. Not once the whole time we have attended.

Apparently Dave will be there for 4 weeks.

My reaction has been negative. I'm quite annoyed there was no warning of Dave jointing the unit. There have never been 'work placements' before. I think it was be something to do with the church though.

I think parents should have been told. They use a private Facebook group to keep in touch with parents and this works really well so I'm a bit baffled by the surprise!

Also why should parents be told that Sandra was there if so?
Do they have to personally inform parents every time a new staff member starts?

Well considering men sexually abuse children and women overwhelmingly more then women it’s perfectly reasonable not to think of asking if every women has been DBS checked.

There is nothing wrong with groups for boys or girls. Just because other groups turned mixed doesn’t mean brownies has to follow suit because of pressure.

www.girlguiding.org.uk/what-we-do/our-stories-and-news/blogs/dads-love-volunteering/

The details re safeguarding and volunteering are clearly displayed on the website. Dads volunteer. It may suit the op that there are no male volunteers but that’s not how it works.

But Edgar a DBS doesn't just cover sexual abuse, all forms of safeguarding offences are included all of which women are capable of and do commit, so why wouldn't you check whether a woman had a DBS check done?

If the OP is so concerned about there being males involved with the group she should have mentioned that to the leaders when her DDs joined up. As many PP have said Girl Guiding has never been female only when it comes to volunteers helping. Also I assume Brownies is similar to Cubs etc, that they have people coming to do specific activities with the children eg local police coming to do a talk, or they visit places eg local fire station. Some of these adults will be male. I also assume they go to activity centres whether just for one session or as part of a camp. These activities won't be run by the leaders but by people employed by the activity centres, and I assume many of them will be exactly like Dave.

I assume OP has reasons for being more protective over her DDs than most, as many people would not have a problem with a young adult coming up to their child in a Brownie/Cub session touching their shoulder saying 'you're it'. If that had happened to DS at Cubs I might have said to one of the leaders 'he's new and enthusiastic, who is he' but in a more being nosey than concerned way. So if OP does have reasons for being more protective, than as I noted above, these should have been communicated when her DD joined. Don't have to go into details but make them aware, so that they could have pre-warned her that Dave was joining them. I am assuming OP hadn't done that, because if she had then her thread would be more about the fact that they hadn't spoken to her personally, rather than not communicating it to the group as a whole.

Well considering men sexually abuse children and women overwhelmingly more then women it’s perfectly reasonable not to think of asking if every women has been DBS checked.

You do realise that 'overwhelmingly less than' is not the same as 'never', don't you? Thankfully, the vast majority of all adults are not abusers, but the purpose of DBS checks is to try to prevent the tiny percentage of people who are known abusers from slipping through.

If you believe that preventing a full 100% of known abusers from being able to access children is over the top and excessively fussy, what percentage of known abusers do you think it is acceptable to unnecessarily wave right on through?

I haven't read the full thread,
Ds1 goes to beavers which only has females that run it. Should I be concerned??

I thought these clubs now days were all about equality. Attitudes like this worry me as a mum of boys

I also assume they go to activity centres whether just for one session or as part of a camp. These activities won't be run by the leaders but by people employed by the activity centres, and I assume many of them will be exactly like Dave.

No. No they don't. I've let them go on sleepovers when it's just their unit and I checked before consent who the staff would be. I allowed them to go because I knew all the staff. I do this each time.

As the mother of both sexes I can confirm I am not at all worried that single sex activities exist or that carers question the checks made on new members of staff.

So given that your needs in knowing exactly who is there are higher than normal have you made brown owl aware of this?

How do you cope with school and supply teachers?

Loads of children/parents are informed if there are going to be new people in school.

Not everyone knows when a supply teacher is going to be in. Also OP only seems to let her children go where she knows the adults hence she won’t let them go to an activity centre.

So what'd happen if a new man teacher started at primary school?

I don't think he should be there.

Who? Dave? Why?

Loads of children/parents are informed if there are going to be new people in school

You have to be kidding! I was a teacher for 40 years, and supply for a few of them. NEVER have I known parents be told in advance when a supply teacher or a new TA was going to be in. NEVER.
What planet are you on?!

As a parent and not a teacher, definitely don't get told every supply teacher/teaching assistant etc either!
Definitely not the norm in my experience.

One autistic child, one SM, so far four schools all of which have told us of staff changes. They’re nice and want the kids to be happy🤷🏻‍♀️

So every time a member of staff is off ill they phone every single parent before the school day begins?

You are not going to be told of a supply teacher that's covering for a teacher who called in sick that morning. Don't be ridiculous.

I find it hard to believe anything you say after this, 5zeds.

Changes of staff were always announced in the school letters, at our schools. Possibly somewhat after the event, to be fair.

No, nobody gets advance warning of supply teachers. Not even the kids.

I have never known parents being told about supply teachers male or female. I’ve never been told as a parent either.Where on earth does that happen?

You’re telling me your over stretched school office rings 30 odd parents the night before supply teachers come in. Sorry I don’t believe you. What do they do if a teacher rings in sick on the day?Tge same? Yeah right.

Why on earth would they put it in a news letter after the event, what is the point?