What would you do if you wanted a dog but your dh didn’t ?

[Lardlizard]

How can you make a compromise on that one

Was it ever discussed before you got married? Not sure I could be with someone who didn't want pets.

I think talking about whether you want pets is as important as whether you want children

We have had cats and dogs just about all our married life. We both said we wanted a dog and I wanted cats too. DH was not particularly a cat lover but he agreed and now loves cats as much as I do.

Why does your DH not want a dog? Does he like dogs? Is he worried about what a tie they would be or the cost or the work? If he doesn't like them that is a different matter to being worried about something else.

If it's not dislike then you should discuss it and see if he is likely to change his mind. If not, as others have suggested, I would look at borrowmydoggy.com. I know a couple of people who belong to that and it works well for them. One is my niece. She can't have a dog of her own due to her working long hours but when she has days off she often looks after a dog for those days. I believe you can just offer to walk dogs but you can also house sit them in your own home.

They're as big a commitment as a child, perhaps more so as they don't really grow up. If you go on holiday you have to arrange kennelling or only go somewhere that allows pets. If you go out for any time you need to arrange for someone to come in and let it out for toilet & exercise. Be prepared for 'accidents' in the housetraining. Vet bills can be large.

If you get on with dogs they're great company but presumably your OH should be providing companionship anyway.

You can't bring a dog into that situation; it can cause distress and behavioural problems for the dog, and can place the relationship under strain.

This is one of my dealbreaker questions when I'm dating.

It makes me think what do
People
Do when one resin wants a baby or another baby and the other one doesn’t .......

We don't have a dog. I don't want a dog. DH would love a dog.

Person no resin ?!

If one person wants a baby and the other doesn't you don't have a baby. Same for a dog.

Lardlizard the one who says no to anything which will impact the couple very long term and dramatically always has the veto, whether it's trying to conceive or getting a dog or emigrating to Australia or having an elderly relative move in.

Obviously if it's a deal-breaker you can split up over it.

we used to dog sit various other people's dogs, my cousin, some good friends.

We let it be known that we were happy to do it.
So we had nice, well behaved family pets for 1-2 weeks at a time.
My kids especially loved those weeks.

I always had the brunt of the walking.
For about 6 years, I said no way are we getting a dog full time, I know how much work they are etc.

Then kids got older, and after one visit from my cousins dog, I started to chaneg my mind a bit.

So we went to the dog rescue and fostered dogs, on the basis that you can always say no, and the dog is temporary.
Not so great as dog sitting as they were all rubbishly trained (being rescues)

But dog no. 4 sort of stayed and didn't go home! But as the person doing all the work, I had to be 100% on board.

I tell this story because I think it is only with an actual dog that you and he see how much work and if you are up for it.

You cannot do it if one person in the family is not happy.

Choose, dh or dog. It's like having a baby - it's an all or nothing choice.

I might leave him. Seriously.

Choose the dog. My DH and I both had one we first met and I couldn't imagine our life without one.

My exH was a cat man. He didn't like the effort or responsibility of a dog. Turns out it was a common theme in his life.

You can’t get a dog. I’d be absolutely livid if my dh got a dog. The mess, the smell, the hassle, the noise etc. Everyone is different but there’s no way I’d want one.

We have a dog but if dh wanted one and I didn't and he got one anyway - I'd leave.

I'd like a dog. My husband doesn't. I'll get one when he dies.

I think you can foster a guide dog/puppy for 6mths or so on the proviso you have to take them to training classes. That or visit dog shelters like other posters suggest.

Things like this should be discussed before you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone. Honestly do people not have basic conversations about what they want out of life before they get engaged or move in together? As for waiting till after marriage to figure out if you both want children...really? Really??

If this is normal, there’s no wonder so many marriages break down.

I don’t want a dog. I don’t like them. If I had a partner that got one against my wishes I would leave as I couldn’t live with a dog.

You can’t plan everything befor you get married and also things and people do change

I don’t want a dog or anymore pets in fact , my son would love a dog - Dad would give in - we won’t be getting a dog

He doesn’t want a dog. They are a full time commitment and need their feelings taken into account, taken to the vet just as if they are children, walked every day, fed properly, trained properly etc etc. Then there are the holidays you want to take and the occasions when they need minding as you have various things you want to do. It needs two of you involved. It should be something you both agree on.

I'd talk through it as much as possible I guess. Find out their reasons for not wanting one, ask if they'd be open to foster a dog, see how important not having a dog was to them vs how important having a dog was to me.

My DP wasn't keen on any pets and I badly wanted a cat. We lived together for several years with a cat and then we got a cat because I really wanted one to love.
Of course now the cat loves him more than me, but it all basically worked out.

Wait till he changed his mind - and don't go on about it in the meantime.

You can’t have half a dog. You split up or don’t get one.
Why doesn’t he want one?

Dh didn’t want another cat (after our old one died of old age). Me and the dc really wanted another cat. We ended up getting another cat! I guess it depends why he doesn’t want a dog? If it’s to do with the extra work, he don’t Want the commitment/cost/having to go and walk it when it’s torrentially raining.

I do the majority of the work for the cat and dh actually doesn’t mind her being here. Maybe a dog is more work though. How much would it impact his life. Dh would like a dog, but works shifts and can’t commit to walk a dog every day. I’m a childminder and wouldn’t want the responsibility of a dog with all the dc in the house And I also don’t have time to walk One, so at the moment it isn’t really practical.