Innocuous conversations that you have overheard that have stayed with you...

[drownininplaymobil]

When my dc were pre-schoolers, I was in some toilets in a church, wrestling various small humans with their pants/handwashing etc.
A student (I think) came in and said to her friend "My hair felt weird so I thought I'd come and have a look at it in the mirror".
I can remember at the time wondering when the last time was that I had time to look in a mirror other than when I was brushing my teeth. And slightly resenting the fact that this gorgeous young thing had the freedom to just saunter about noticing how her hair 'felt'.
Such a small throwaway comment but it really stuck with me. Anyone else?

With his hat on in the back of a car?

“If you’re going to leave, you may as well just stick a knife in me now”

DM to DF at midnight when he’s just confessed to having an affair with his secretary and that he was leaving us, DM, me and my three younger siblings.

I was 13 and I’m now not far off 50 and those words have stuck with me forever since.

I’ve never really forgiven him for what he puts us through, as I was older I knew what was going on and supported DM a lot.

The bastard.

Recently heard one woman say to another: "it's such a shame I lost touch with Nicky, we were such good friends, we used to go robbing together."

Same day, different women:
"Oh she's actually a psychopath. Like your sister".

Many years ago, a woman with a little boy passed by me on the street and he must have been yakking his head off (in the manner of small children) because all I heard as she walked by was a muttered "I wish you'd have mouth failure"

Saw a man walking along with a little girl, about three years old, arguing.
Girl : she wasn’t !
Man : she was!
Girls : she really wasn’t!
Man : I’m absolutely sure your mummy was there when you were being born. Believe me.

At AltonTowers Black Hole ride, many years ago, it was a freezing cold late October day - 2 teenagers behind my DH & I. One turns to other - “You should have listened to your Mum & put a jumper AND coat on ( he was in a T-shirt & jeans & actually shaking with cold). “I **ing know that now! I’m so cold my dick is the size of a peanut & it might just snap off!!!” We chuckled all day about it!

My youngest son- who is now t6e sweetest natured man in the world! was frequently in trouble at primary school for fighting. When he was eight, he came home from school really upset because he was once again in trouble for fighting.

I gave him a long lecture about not fighting and not letting other children goad him. He stood tearfully but listening intently. My final comment was, ‘if you start losing your temper then other children will just stand laughing at you.’ He gave me a withering look and said, ‘No they won’t because I’d kill ‘em!’

Conversation between two children playing in the street:

"OK, this time I'll be the king and you be the tomato."

@YouCanNeverHaveEnoughGIitter You probably already know and that's why it's funny but just in case. I think the little boy questioning the person from Uganda maybe misheard it as Wakanda and thought the guy was a Black Panther super hero. Marvel geek here! 😁

@sashh
When my mum was still alive and on holiday with my dad they would start conversations deliberately for others to hear.

Thats exactly thw sort of thing dh and I do!!

Cant stop laughing at this

@DatsunCogs, I desperately want to know where this fiesta of robbers and psychopaths is!

As a theatre sister, if I was in a bad mood, one of our operating department assistants used to say, ‘Can’t you do another dwarf? You’ve been doing grumpy all morning.’ I still laugh about it.

Most embarrassing conversation- we had just moved into our new house and my friend called round. Looking at the cooker she commented ‘Fancy them leaving it as scruffy as that.’ I told her it was ours. One we’d brought from our previous house. Cue red faced friend! We’re still friends.

The main thing I’m taking away from this thread is the ‘CBeebies presenting‘ Mum who sounds exactly like me when I’m at the end of my fucking tether. Complete with thumbs up/down

American tourists in Windsor asking a taxi driver to take them to 'Sluff'.

Two women walking past me in the street "I stood up so fast, it fell out onto the floor". Her Mirena??

I don't have an eavesdroplet to contribute, but I'm loving these!

DH overheard this in the chemist. Strong welsh accent -“ I had a packet of Fisherman’s Friends yesterday, while we were lounging on the couch on Valium , they were LUSH “.

Many years ago on a wine-buying trip to the supermarket in France.
English couple with a trolley absolutely full of beer.

Wife ”do you think we should get some wine whilst we’re here?”
Husband “suppose so”
Wife “we only drink red so which one shall I get?”
Husband “doesn’t matter - red wine’s red wine innit?”
Phrase now used as part of our wine buying conversation...

Two old women in a pub eating lunch talking about their friend in hospital. One said she likes bananas but the only ones in the shop were green and I dont know if she will live to see them ripen and it would be such a waste!!

Running a guest house in Indonesia.. could hear a young woman telling her friend that she may be pregnant... and not sure if her boyfriend would marry her because her grandmother had always said her fundamental objection to cohabitating rather than all the legal protections of marriage were summed up in ... 'why would he buy the cow when the milk comes for free... '

I was initially horrified by the crudeness if this line - but on return to the UK many years later , I realised how right the grandmothers thoughts were... until our laws change . If the mother is not independently wealthy of course.

My husband is a taxi driver and in the early hours picked up a youngish couple from someone’s house.

Him: A shame Betty went to bed so early
Her: She won’t be very pleased when she gets up in the morning and finds you’ve pulled her cat’s head off.
Him: Driver, drop me here, please
He does, The taxi drives on
Her: I’ve just realised what that sounded like. Betty has a stuffed cat.
Husband: 😳

Teenager who looks like a thumb...Absolutely Hilarious....and peekaboob
Great photo....Just what I imagined....

Two ladies - 1 elderly & 1 younger, outside local church (where clearly, a wedding is in progress)

Younger lady : I wish it was my wedding day again ...
elder lady : Do you dear ?
Younger lady : Yeah I wouldnt turn up ...

True story ...

About 40 years ago in deepest rural Norfolk, my Mum popped into the village post office to send postcards. A middle aged man and woman were in the queue in front of her, talking quietly about scooters. The woman suddenly bellowed, "And what be I wanting with a mop-head, Fred?".
Mopeds and scooters are now known as mop-heads in this family.

I was at a food market last year and a woman asked a stallholder if they sold harissa. A woman at another stall wheeled round and said ' I think you'll find it's pronounced hu-reesa actually. It's Arabic'.
I have never heard anyone needlessly patronise a stranger like that, and I'm not convinced she was right either.