Innocuous conversations that you have overheard that have stayed with you...

[drownininplaymobil]

When my dc were pre-schoolers, I was in some toilets in a church, wrestling various small humans with their pants/handwashing etc.
A student (I think) came in and said to her friend "My hair felt weird so I thought I'd come and have a look at it in the mirror".
I can remember at the time wondering when the last time was that I had time to look in a mirror other than when I was brushing my teeth. And slightly resenting the fact that this gorgeous young thing had the freedom to just saunter about noticing how her hair 'felt'.
Such a small throwaway comment but it really stuck with me. Anyone else?

Two men in a pub. Man 1 was arguing loudly that you could freeze maggots, Man 2 disagreed equally loudly. Then Man 1 said 'Oh no. It's yeast you can freeze.'.

On a train that was going through Oxford, some people peering earnestly out of the window as they tried to work out, of the buildings they could see, "which one" was the university.

@Jellybeansincognito at the time yes it was. When we broke up (funnily enough because of his serial cheating!) I felt nothing but relief. And I am very happy now!

A few years ago I was sitting behind 2 young women on a bus,who were chatting away. One of them lowered her voice and said conspiratorially to the other 'I walked into the room,and there he was measuring his penis'. I nearly snorted out loud with laughter.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow.

Much like the pool was in about 2 seconds. That properly made me laugh!

An old lady tourist at a cemetery on the Great Orme Llandudno. "Oh I would love to be buried here just look at that view " she said to her friend.

Heard on Radio years ago. Two young girls overheard in playground. Girl 1 says of man coming to collect her "he's our new dad" Girl 2 replies "we've had him, he's rubbish"
!!!

We were sitting in our garden when I was a child, enjoying a summer's evening. A woman stormed past pushing a buggy and dragging a young boy who was whinging and crying. She shouted, "shut up or I'll shove a stick of dynamite up your arse!" Once she was out of earshot we all packed up laughing and it's a threat we use (lightheartedly ofc) in my family even today!

This week I was on a bus in Leeds. Two girls sitting behind us talking about one of their classmates at uni/art college (a boyfriend of one of them maybe - not sure). Talking about how he would, never admit he was wrong, liked picking verbal fights about anything and everything down to what design was on his sketchbook and said he needed a haircut.

When they got off my husband and I commented that they seemed very invested in this boy/man given they didn't seem to like him very much. They talked about him for the whole journey.

In costa with dh the other day, two women at the table next to us...one says to the other “you know what I can’t get over? That that cat watched my dads body get eaten”...WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!

‘I think we should split up’. Man to woman in Marks and Spencer menswear department.

The way he said it, it could have meant ‘I think we should look in different areas of the store to find the sort of anorak we are looking for’. Or it could have meant ‘I don’t love you any more and I’m leaving you and I need to tell you right here and now in Marks and Spencer.

Overhead on the bus. "And she's called the baby Tia Maria".
(Wonders if the father was called Jack Daniels).

Two American tourists overhead at Wimbledon championship as the rain came down.
'I wonder why the Brits don't hold this in the summer...'

My mum was in some toilets when a woman came in with her grandson, who was around 3 years old. She could hear them chattering in the cubicle as you do with small children and then heard the immortal line from the toddler "your tights feel nice, you're a sexy fucker nanny".

Another American tourists one here, in the catacombs in Rome. "I wonder how they keep it so cold down here, how do they regulate the temperature?" 🤦‍♀️

Listening to one of my nan's elderly friends telling nan all about how a fellow lunch club member was getting on. Gladys had not been able to come to the club for a few weeks.

The GP had been in touch, apparently to update with test results ''And ...'', she said, leaning in close to nan ''ALL her blood had turned to milk!''

Nan was like - ooooooooh

How about this, more tragic than funny: Man in his late 50s is sitting on the train with his phone on speaker. A very old voice who seems to be his mother is talking. He is seemingly trying to sort out her meds. Then she gets emotional and says "I love you so much, you know". And he says, "thank you".

@AnotherDFSsale. That’s so sad. Hope things are better for you now.

My mum volunteers at a local stately home. She is an attendant in the 18th century art gallery. One painting has a rope barrier in front of it to stop people standing too close. Two men came into the gallery and said to the other "Why do you think this one's got a barrier?". The other replied "I think it must still be wet" 😂

In Scotland in some maze or other when I was a kid. There was a group of us and we came across a stone which had some Chinese writing on it. Everyone turned to the woman they presumed to be Chinese and one person said "what's it say then"
And she just shrugged and said in the thickest Scottish accent I've ever heard "fucked if I know"

Many years ago in Sheffield bus station. Winter, cold, dark, and absolutely pissing it down. Two older ladies waiting for the same bus as me.
Lady 1: I thought you drove?
Lady 2: I do, but I don't like to get the car out if it's raining....
Me: ?????????

Years ago in a public library in stockbroker belt a rather posh lady saying to her husband 'o dear, I've got pudding in my fingernails'

Outside an acute psychiatric hospital (where I was working), this bloke was ranting that he had been told he was paranoid but anyone would be if they had this many people after them.

Some of these have made me laugh out loud!

I was at a works do, everyone was a bit tipsy. The HR manager was discussing how she thought she was pg with the married store managers baby. Cue me coming out of the cubicle pretending I didn’t hear anything. Still couldn’t give a toss, but the kid would be 25 by now.