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Innocuous conversations that you have overheard that have stayed with you...

351 replies

drownininplaymobil · 20/02/2020 15:26

When my dc were pre-schoolers, I was in some toilets in a church, wrestling various small humans with their pants/handwashing etc.
A student (I think) came in and said to her friend "My hair felt weird so I thought I'd come and have a look at it in the mirror".
I can remember at the time wondering when the last time was that I had time to look in a mirror other than when I was brushing my teeth. And slightly resenting the fact that this gorgeous young thing had the freedom to just saunter about noticing how her hair 'felt'.
Such a small throwaway comment but it really stuck with me. Anyone else?

OP posts:
kweggie · 21/02/2020 18:51

Overheard in New look changing rooms

Voice 1 Eughh! That's disgusting!
Voice 2 I couldn't help it
Voice 1 Well it landed on me!

AdoptedBumpkin · 21/02/2020 18:52

Two men, one obviously more sport minded than the other, discussing the Six Nations. The clueless one came out with: "I never knew there were no goalkeepers in rugby." HmmGrin

KindnessCrusader · 21/02/2020 18:56

@yumscrumfatbum I'm shaking with silent laughter whilst trying to get the baby to sleep GrinGrinGrin

Stompythedinosaur · 21/02/2020 18:59

While going to bed on a UK campsite some years ago a posh woman's voice came from the tent next door, "Just because you're lying there with your cock out, doesn't make me want to fuck you!"

Cherrysoup · 21/02/2020 19:02

Me on holiday in America squealing excitedly at my dh: ‘Look at the squirrel, honey!’. Laconic American next to me ‘Funny looking squirrel’. Apparently it was a chipmunk. We use his comment a lot.

‘I don’t want to go in that supermarket. I have to avoid people I’ve arrested in the vegetable aisle’. 🤣🥦

cortex10 · 21/02/2020 19:10

In the 1950s footballers didn't earn a lot but were still celebs especially in their local community. DM was waiting at the bus stop when the bus pulled up and a young woman pushed in at the front of the queue. When the other passengers complained she protested that they should let her in as she was the local famous (England squad) footballer's girlfriend. The bus driver said ' I don't care if you're his girlfriend love you're still at the back of the queue'. Whenever someone was getting too big for their boots afterwards DM always joked they were like acting a footballer's girlfriend.

AutumnGlitterBall · 21/02/2020 19:14

Was at the doctors and an elderly couple came out of a consulting room. Old man seemed a bit confused as the wife discussed the appointment (we’re in Scotland).

Wife: and he’s made you an appointment to see Dr -
Husband: and Nicola?
Wife: (confused) what? No, Mr - in the - department.
Husband: and Nicola?
Wife: (dawns on her what he means) naw, you’ve to see the SURGEON, no STURGEON.

Iwantacookie · 21/02/2020 19:16

in a shop few years ago couple were just about to leave when the woman says oh we need cat food and the man replied who for.
The woman looked at him like hed grown an extra head and said "the cat" love to know the rest of that conversation.

CatAndHisKit · 21/02/2020 19:28

RedWine you win! Grin - a laugh or cry one!

WhereDidMyEyebrowsGo · 21/02/2020 19:29

I was on a train up to Edinburgh with some colleagues and went off to the buffet car with our order and joined the queue. I stood next to a family on a table seat. The rather elderly gentleman said to either his wife or daughter 'You will have to get the bag down from the rack, if I try I will probably damage my testicles. This table is very low and close"

He was absolutely serious. It was very hard not to laugh. But I was actually rather impressed that he felt able to be so honest.

Frenchw1fe · 21/02/2020 19:29

At a coffee morning older lady talking about a recent organised tour to the seaside.
‘The driver said it's 50 miles. Mind you that’s by coach , how far it would be in a car I couldn’t say.’

Two American girls in Top shop in York fitting room.
‘ I like shopping in Miami.
You shouldn’t shop in Miami, my friend got shot at shopping in Miami.’

Iwantacookie · 21/02/2020 19:31

Overhead ds2 when he was about 6 and his friend arguing about who was going to be Hillary Clinton

VK456 · 21/02/2020 19:58

I was sitting behind two women on a bus many years ago. They were having a conversation and one said to the other, And they are sooo happy’. I still wonder who these people were and whether they’re still ‘sooo happy!'

Purplealienpuke · 21/02/2020 20:00

Heard a kid asking his mother really loudly in a fast food place why daddy didn't love her anymore... .
A friend of mine (RIP) who had bipolar was excitedly telling me on a bus some lurid details of her sexual exploits. She wasn't quiet either. Mixed in this conversation was a story about a major surgery she'd had. The woman infront turned to her said 'excuse me, hope you don't mind but I've been listening to your conversation.. . And I want to tell you how brave you are ' 😂😂 I nearly wet my pants. She really must have heard THE WHOLE conversation!! Very funny to me

NewMe2020 · 21/02/2020 20:03

Next to me in a hospital cubicle was an old man being visited by his daughter. She said to him, "Dad, I'll have to go, I've got to pick up your wolverine before the chemist closes"

I think she meant Warfarin!!

Caramagoo · 21/02/2020 20:04

Years ago in a toilet cubicle in Ikea, my 3yr old DD says in a very loud voice "you've got a hairy front bum, mummy". Cue snorts and giggles from the other ladies.

DownstairsMixUp · 21/02/2020 20:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 21/02/2020 20:43

Did anyone see that episode of “the secret life of four year olds” where two of the little boys had a fight and the teacher tried to get them to make friends?:
Teacher: “now Sammy, it’s really not nice to fight is it? What would you like to say to Tom?”
Sammy: (looks at teacher expectantly).....”Die!?”

I pmsl!!

NewRoadToHappinessxx · 21/02/2020 21:13

On the bus heavily pregnant and two girls behind me ‘Do you want children?’ ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to have children because mum couldn’t that’s why they had to adopt me’ 😂

NotALurker2 · 21/02/2020 21:15

@QueenOfOversharing TWICE I've had people tell me they overheard strangers talking about me on the bus. They told me exactly what they overheard, and it was indeed me they were talking about! I never did figure out who they were, though.

MrsSnitchnose · 21/02/2020 21:20

Two teenage boys in the school where I work

Boy 1: Do you think you can learn by osmosis? Like if I threw a book at your head, would you know it all.

Boy 2: Do you think that's what Jesus did

Boy 1: Nah, he got crucified didn't he

Boy 2: He should have had a better aim then

Was giggling to myself for ages afterwards!

Chickenwing · 21/02/2020 21:33

You need to read this in a Scottish accent but at primary school i remember a boy running the taps in the wet area and the teacher said "jack, get that tap off" and he proceeded to take his top offGrin

Sausagepants · 21/02/2020 21:38

In the local supermarket:

Woman 1: Did you do much this weekend?

Woman 2: No. The kids watched the new King Kong film but I didn't. Once you've seen one King Kong movie, you've seen them all. Course... I haven't seen any of them.

livelifehappy · 21/02/2020 21:42

I was a teacher in a rough East London primary school & had to have a conversation at the end of the day with a parent about their 7 year old swearing in class. Mum said ‘I’m really sorry about that, I don’t know what’s got into him, i’t wont happen again’ turning to said child with a swift clip round the ear Mum said ‘ffs Billy what have I told you about f*g swearing in f*g school’

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/02/2020 21:47

Couple of good natured Scottish squaddies behind me on the train; drunk beyond repair, boisterous and happy, they suddely became very quiet when we passed Chesterfield and they spotted the famous crooked spire
Subdued and worried muttering then started as to whether they'd really seen that, so in a spirit of helpfulness I turned round and assured them that actually it was perfectly straight

I've often wondered if it caused them to sign the pledge ... Grin