Innocuous conversations that you have overheard that have stayed with you...

[drownininplaymobil]

When my dc were pre-schoolers, I was in some toilets in a church, wrestling various small humans with their pants/handwashing etc.
A student (I think) came in and said to her friend "My hair felt weird so I thought I'd come and have a look at it in the mirror".
I can remember at the time wondering when the last time was that I had time to look in a mirror other than when I was brushing my teeth. And slightly resenting the fact that this gorgeous young thing had the freedom to just saunter about noticing how her hair 'felt'.
Such a small throwaway comment but it really stuck with me. Anyone else?

When DD1 was was 8 I took her to see The Good Dinosaur.

As we were leaving the two teens behind us said ' So if dinosaurs were wiped out, how come humans survived whatever killed them?".

My DD looked totally aghast at these huge teens so lacking in dinosaur knowledge.

Love love love these! Great thread OP!
They remind me of the All Ears Column I used to read years ago in the Guardian...
www.theguardian.com/culture/2009/oct/03/overheard-conversation
For anyone who fancies a trip down memory lane, link above takes you to more of them. Michael Holden's column used to make me smile.

Walking past a group I heard "I'll do a lot for you Leanne, but I ain't getting stabbed for you"

And when me and DH were out shopping, a young girl turned around to her mates and shouted "Come on! I needs a piss!" Which is now our catch phrase.

On the plane when I was moving to Australia, a couple of Aussie teenagers were declaring loudly that they were "cultured now they had been to Europe". I quietly said to dh that "nope, they're still Australian".

That would have been a cute story if you hadn’t included your nasty snobbishness at the end.

At a zoo outside a lemur enclosure. Mother to her child. “Oh look! It’s a........fox-monkey”
All she needed to do was read the sign identifying the species of lemur........

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/08/ever-been-handcuffed-nothing-beats-an-overheard-hannah-jane-parkinson

mikey contributor under the line:

Among my favourites include a lady I saw berating her son (maybe 8-10) in the park:

“You’ve got to stop doing this. You wouldn’t ask a white person that question, would you?”
“But mum...”
“Just because he’s from Uganda? It doesn’t mean he can do a backflip!”

At a jolly wedding in a village hall. Groom’s boss and his wife at our table, making it clear all afternoon that the weddings they were used to were a bit smarter than this one. She got ridiculously pissed, went off to the loo and as she was walking back to her seat, hissed is a really loud stage whisper to her husband, ‘ No knickers, darling!’

In a park with my children, a very well spoken lady called out to her child in a very loud voice "Matthew, mind your penis!". I now like to call this out to DH if he approachs any physical task with any level of enthusiasm.

Can't stop laughing at this!

I really love overheard conversations that become part of family language. It makes me wonder if there's someone halfway round the world regularly repeating a phrase I once said in passing.

In France, stopped in a viewing spot to admire a very lovely and very blue lake. It is very big but the whole edge of the lake is clearly visible.

A large party on Harley Davidsons pulls up to admire the view. One says to the other:

Is that that Mediterranean Sea?

Look, I know that things are smaller on this side of the Atlantic, but this is quite clearly a lake!

Years ago me and DH were on holiday on Skye and outside a Safeway supermarket (THAT'S how long ago this was) overheard a woman exclaim to her friend: "Oh, Margaret, look! There's that big lorry that brings those lovely black puddings ALL the way from Stornoway!" She was absolutely delighted. I make DH say it every so often and it makes me cry with laughter. I'm not sure why.

Two very elderly ladies waiting at the bus stop and one asks the other if she saw the Deila Smith cooking programme on TV last night.
"I did" she says in a broad Dublin accent "but she's an awful cunt for the butter"

So is James Martin to be fair!!!!

I was at a Zoo - possibly London zoo when some kids asked their dad what an animal was. Oh it is a kangaroo he said confidently. It was an Okapi. I knew before I saw the BIG SIGN saying Okapi, because I remembered they had the stripy legs, but surely most people know what a kangaroo looks like???

Having lunch solo in Bristol, a couple of women and some children came in and ordered food.

The little boy who looked about 4 climbed under the table, put his hands behind his back but around the table leg and then said, "Mummy can you tie me up?"

'Mummy' broke of talking to her friend to say, "no dear, not now"

Many years ago I was visiting Oxford. In a cafe I struck up a conversation with an American tourist. He commented that he had been around to see the colleges but couldn't find the University!

I overheard the exact same conversation on the bus in Cambridge.
I can excuse people being confused to be fair. The university in damn near every other place is one big building or complex of buildings.

Two young women meeting up outside a cafe a couple of summers ago.
Woman 1: Oh I love your dress!
Woman 2: Thanks, it's backwards!

It always makes me smile because she didn't seem to care one bit that her dress was backwards and I wish I'd slowed down to try and work out whether it was even an accident or if she just preferred it that way!

I did a thread about this a few months ago but can’t remember the conversation I started it about, but as I don’t drive and use public transport a lot I overhear many conversations:

Recently on a train two blokes and a woman got on, She was very loud, and kept proclaiming loudly that “I just need it to be Friday because I need to buy some weed and have a spliff innit.” and then later to one who I presume was her bf, “I dunno what your complaining about, I gave you two blowjobs yesterday.” .

Overheard on a Glasgow bus:

Man 1 - Poor old soul had the flat broken in to.
Man 2 - Did they get much?
Man 1 - No, just the elephant tusks. They were about 6ft long
Man 2 - and she's only 4 ft 11.

And then they got off the bus.

I can remember two old ladies talking about their waterworks in the middle of the town centre. I can remember at the same time noticing what a twee, polite term they were using and at the same time being horrified they'd talk about such a thing so loudly and openly in public.

Couple in Swanage, Dorset. “I only slept with your sister the once, why do you keep banging on about it?”

I love how many people just seem to make shit up at the zoo!

Father to son at next table in cafe - “what’s infinity minus 64?”. I didn’t hear any more because DH arrived with the tray

These are fab! 😆. Love Barbara and the catsuit! It is very Victoria Wood!!
I remember being in a bed and mattress shop on the outskirts of Leeds, buying a new mattress. The man serving warned us against Ikea mattresses, deeming them "spare room quality". After a time, where he talked us through the pros and cons of various mattresses in the shop, we chose what he deemed to be a superior quality product. It was pure John Shuttleworth when he yelled across the showroom, "Margaret, they're going for the good one!" Still makes me smile

About 25 years ago DH and I visited Zermatt. We were admiring the view of the Matterhorn with a group of fellow tourists. One American lady looked through the telescope and exclaimed to her husband that there was “a cute l’ill house on the edge of the mountain.” Her husband said “why honey, that house is bigger than a man!” It’s a base camp hostel sleeping about 15 people.....perspective is a thing .

Dying at “MATTHEW mind your penis!”

Overheard someone on a train once saying ‘...of course, he’s allergic to Chinese food. When he eats it he gets very tired and has to lie on the floor.’

Surely that’s not an allergy, that’s just what happens when you eat too much takeaway??