Innocuous conversations that you have overheard that have stayed with you...

[drownininplaymobil]

When my dc were pre-schoolers, I was in some toilets in a church, wrestling various small humans with their pants/handwashing etc.
A student (I think) came in and said to her friend "My hair felt weird so I thought I'd come and have a look at it in the mirror".
I can remember at the time wondering when the last time was that I had time to look in a mirror other than when I was brushing my teeth. And slightly resenting the fact that this gorgeous young thing had the freedom to just saunter about noticing how her hair 'felt'.
Such a small throwaway comment but it really stuck with me. Anyone else?

Man struggling to reach something on a high shelf in Sainsbury's:
[Muttering] "And this is why I should stick to Waitrose."

My DH overheard this conversation in an off licence years ago - conducted in West Country accents.
Woman 1: you know that chap, Simon...
Woman 2: I don't know who you mean?
Woman 1: Yes, you do! Simon! The one who blew up them towers in America, Simon! Simon Bin Laden..
Woman 2: it's Osama.
Woman 1: Oh yeah! That's the one...

Overheard on the bus years ago. A mother scolding her primary aged child ‘It’s not innit, it’s ain’t it!’

I love these. They are so great.

One I heard on here was a man retelling a bit of a shock he had and how he had gone “white as a sheep”. Which still makes me laugh.

I was helping at a local museum fun day and couldnt help listening in on a woman who was slightly overinvested in her son's mosaic making. He was about 6 and it obviusly wasn't going to plan.

'What we're aiming for here, Xander' she said through gritted teeth is SYMMETRY....'

Walking past the changing rooms in a clothes shop I overheard one shop assistant call out to another 'Can I have some help please Barbara? I've got a woman stuck in a catsuit in here!'

I was a young teen in a museum with my mum looking at miniature portraits of various kings and queens when I heard an American tourist explaining to her daughter 'that's Henry VIII he started England.' Teenage me found it very hard not to laugh.

Love white as a sheep!

Bearing in mind I come from a family of inveterate planners:

Overhead at a racecourse in Ireland
"There is no plan. No plan at all"

Blew my mind!

When we were younger (about 20 years ago) my parents took us on a holiday to Wales (one of those family mobile home places, Haven I think?)
Anyways, we were sitting out one evening and heard a man with a strong English accent (I'm irish so I can't place it specifically!) say loudly and drunkenly to his wife
"Hey! Oi facking lav you!"
We still often say it to each other as a family 😂

I had something similar @OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

On holiday in the pool and a woman with a very nasty looking weeping something going on on her upper arm.

Another holiday maker who she seemed to know said “oh you’re back. What did the doctor say?”.

And this woman swam over to her happily nodding and said “you were right, he said it’s infected”.

No shit?!? It looked awful and must have hurt like anything. I got out of the pool sharpish.

Many years ago I was in a local fruit and veg shop, paying for some stuff. At the next till, the cashier was chatting to her customer, a lady in her 70s, who was clearly a regular.

The cashier said to her 'How's Ted?' 'Oh he's fine' she replied. 'He's got a new leg. It's got toes and everything'

Makes me chuckle to this very day. Dear old Ted and his new leg, complete with toes

Overheard in Kew gardens gift shop before Christmas.

Person A "Yeah well normally they're two very intelligent people"
Person B (returning) "What's this?"
Person C "He said his mates made mulled wine with 5 cloves of garlic"

@vinca’s tale of the oenophile ex-convict is killing me.

Overheard in a student cafeteria in the 1990s:

American female student #1: ‘So then I, like, found my boyfriend in bed with my father.’

American female student #2: ‘Uh-huh.’

Dh (bf at the time) my sister and some friends were in the queue for a nightclub this was years ago. A couple marched straight to the door skipped the line entirely and the woman said in loud very plummy tones “but do we have to queue?”

Been a catch phase ever since whenever we have to wait in line

'Can I have some help please Barbara? I've got a woman stuck in a catsuit in here!'

That is pure Victoria Wood/Julie Walters.

Simon Bin Laden

Overheard recently at a concert where a cello was being played. 2 lads at uni speaking loudly abd had been trying to impress with their musical knowledge "isn't it funny how the cello looks like a bigger version of a violin" " yeah it's shape reminds me of a (me thinking he was going to say 'woman') nut" How I didn't burst out laughing I don't know!

On the plane when I was moving to Australia, a couple of Aussie teenagers were declaring loudly that they were "cultured now they had been to Europe". I quietly said to dh that "nope, they're still Australian".

2 older ladies sitting on deck chairs at a car boot.
One was telling the other that she had attended Maureen’s funeral yesterday.
The other nodded solemnly and sipped her flask of tea.
Then she said to the other “I much prefer weddings to funerals don’t you? Funerals are very depressing and the buffets aren’t usually as nice as they are at weddings. Plus, you get cake”

Overheard upon leaving our first proper lecture at uni which had included being given our reading list for the first semester...

“I never realised there’d be so much reading, I don’t even like books that much”

...the course? English!

Overheard in the small VERY old village I was living in at the time. I’m talking has existed close on 1000 years at least and yes it was Americans...

“Geez the roads are way too narrow they need to widen em, just pull down some of these old buildings...”

These would be roads that were designed for horses and pedestrians because the village was built way before cars or even carriages really were even thought of! And buildings that have been there since then too...the very buildings - many of them listed - that attracted tourists in the first place!

Overheard in a cafe just before Christmas "You know that pop singer?" "Tom Jones?" "No, the one that nibbles the talking carrot."
It wasn't until I saw the advert that I realised it was Robbie William's

Sorry about the extra apostrophe. Bloody autocorrect.

Quite a few years ago now, DH and I were standing in front of a Leopard enclosure at a local zoo, admiring the Leopards inside (one of which was pure black), when a man and a young child came and stood next to us.

Man, to the child: “Oh look Tommy, it’s a tiger!” 🙈🤦🏻‍♀️

I just hoped the poor kid wasn’t home schooled... 😕

On holiday right now, there was a woman yesterday shouting at her kids whilst in the pool on the approach to the rapids - Center parcs. Really going for it. Don’t get me started how dangerous it was to go down the long and crowded rapids / wild river in such an agitated state. I turned to another woman and said how awful it was. She replied it depends what it was about. A while later I saw the woman I talked to shouting at her child (wtf). Then as I left the pool, her husband was shouting at their child because he didn’t want to go to the loo by himself, he must have been 5, 6 tops (wtff).

Do these people have no common sense or shame?