Teen parents - what are you doing today?

[Canshopwillshop]

I’ve got DD 15 and DS 13 both of whom are still asleep at the moment. I’d really like to do something with them today but I just don’t know what. I am reminiscing about how much easier it was to please them both when they were younger - swimming/park/soft play etc. The only thing I can think of is the cinema. Any other ideas?

Mine never really displayed the behaviour you describe

Right, which is why I said every child is different!

These kind of discussions always depress me as I find my baby and toddler so hard sometimes and the thought that all this is a piece of piss compared to teens is honestly worrying.

Dd's birthday is in Jan and, as we've just had Christmas, one of her presents is generally an experience e. g. Young person's driving lesson or indoor sky diving which we then generally book for Feb half term as it is usually rubbish weather and it gives a focus for the week. And as it was a birthday present, we're not paying out again for the day out in half term iyswim.

I don’t find teens worse, coffee, even though my dd has had a lot of issues and we are worried about her. I don’t say it’s easy but even so. The constant physical supervision of babies and toddlers, who woke every night for years, the relentlessness of it. Teens do not generally need your constant attention so you can get a break. They go out without you, you can leave them at home if you need to pop out for a bit.

It depends how many you’ve got, what they’re like , circumstances and where you live re them going out. My 3 haven’t been out all day. Actually one went out to buy shite for lunch. 15 mins. All are studying.Teens going through shit is infinitely more more worrying and draining than a toddler going through shit.

Who says you sleep when worried about teens?

Coffee you get several nice years in between.

Yesterday I took my two teens and younger one for a long walk through a park and for a pub lunch.
Today we went for another long walk with an additional 2 teens and a pizza express lunch.
Basically, if I suggest anything involving food, they’ll come!
It’s hard with a younger one to come up with things they will all enjoy and get something out of, there are days when the teens are doing things with friends or just have other things to do which makes it easier for me to worry about just pleasing one.
Donutting, trampoline parks and pottery painting places usually do well out of me during school holidays.

@Coffeeandtv1983 it’s just a different sort of worry.
When mine were little I used to worry that they weren’t getting enough fruit and veg, or that they weren’t interacting enough with other children, or speaking in sentences as quickly as other children.
Now they’re older, I worry a lot about their mental health, their friendships and their choices. A lot of their personalities now will shape their future and having done some pretty stupid things when I was younger, my main worry is that they will repeat them.
I do wake up worrying about them in the night and they all slept through the night from being quite small!! I sleep far less now than I used to when they were little
However, when they aren’t being hormonal strop bags they are really good fun, great company and we have good relationships.
They need me as much if not more in some ways now.

Were all just lazing around today.

Tomorrow were going to a animal wildlife park,they all love animals and our youngest is 12 and our older DC still like to do nice days out with they're littlest sister now and again which is really lovely of them.

The rest of this week were planning on going to the cinema on Friday and on Sunday were going to go bowling and have some lunch out,we tend to do a day out followed by a resty day at home,they seem to all prefer to do it that way now rather than us going out every day they're off school/college which suits me and DH just fine.

Other things we do with our DC now they're all getting older go to theme parks,Go karting,days at the seaside,madame tussauds,bowling,day trips to London,Visit different towns go shopping and have lunch somewhere new,go to football matches at home that includes having dinner out before hand when they're playing away that means staying in a hotel for a few nights in Birmingham,going out for meals,shopping and catching up with family.

I'm at work I'm afraid.

DS (7) is at school sports camp.

DD (14) is at home with her friend and I gave them money to go out to lunch. I only work about 5 minutes away so they can call or even walk round if they want anything

Will take DD to town tomorrow and do whatever shopping she wants and probably take her for lunch then DS is home on Thursday for dentist, friend round to play and to fulfill his special request of a trip to the dessert restaurant!! (I feel a bit sick already might just stick to pancakes with lemon and sugar!)

Feel a bit guility I can't get more time off with them really.

Me too TheChosen

It’s all such a worry.

Thanks @askagain @halcyondays @TheChosenTwo That helps. No illusions it won’t be hard but x100 times harder

DS have A levels this year and mocks next week.

My 1/2 terms is comprised of - go and get on with your revision!

I have 3 dds - 18, 17 and nearly 13.

Middle dd is away on a residential trip until Thursday evening.

Oldest isn't well at the moment so has been sleeping

Youngest has been pottering around at home chilling. We went out for a hot chocolate yesterday for a bit of fresh air. Then came home and watched a movie together.

I've been working this morning, dd1 still ill/sleeping, dd3 watching tv. If dd1 is feeling better later I might take them to Wagamamas.

We have tickets to use for Go Ape but will see what the weather is like in the next few days.

Cinema is always a good option but there's not much on at the moment.

The cat is taking care of keeping DD occupied, howling once an hour, 24/7 outside her door for cuddles / attention and only DD is good enough as the chosen one. DD has also been to air cadets yesterday which was sports events and youth club tonight, another air cadets and singing lesson later in week.

Sorry Coffee but no point sugar coating it. It’s a bit like breast feeding, nobody talks about it until you’re experiencing it for yourself. It’s a shock. I do think the teen years and better support for parents needs to be discussed.

Just got out of the escape room and it was brilliant! Will definitely be doing more of those. Not cheap but not awful either and took up nearly 2 hours.

our 14 year old has been away with friends and friends parents in a hotel for 3 nights, only back since yesterday. Today she is meeting another pal for a milkshake in town and then back to ours for a sleepover. Thursday she has her sporting hobby, Friday she is going to another friends house for a sleepover.

In between all that she is on her phone chatting to friends, studying(!), cleaning her room (!! - or bring nagged to) and lazing about in bed.

We're working, though dh goes home at lunchtime and works from home some afternoons.

We were away in Italy last week and she had a great time and was great company, very funny and had us in stitches many times.

She also knows exactly how to push buttons and can be self absorbed, irritating, bossy, know-it-all, rude, sullen, moody. But she is also kind, generous, funny, smart, chatty, great company (all when the mood takes her!)

We usually try to do something, the 3 of us, once a week - a lunch / coffee / dinner as it's good to connect when we can.

She still comes in for the odd cuddle from time to time!

Just caught up with the recent replies and discussions. Quite a few have commented that there is no need to entertain teenagers and why not just leave them to chill etc. I just thought I’d point out that mine do do their own thing a lot of the time but for me, it’s important to get them out of their rooms/off their phones occasionally and spend family time together having fun.

Even though my kids are sometimes reluctant to do stuff, they usually end up enjoying it, as do I, and we normally end up chatting about what’s happening in their lives etc which is a good thing.

We have a place booked close to where we live to ski. Very cheap, we have been going there since they were tiny. But there is no WiFi. So now one is refusing to go, the other one “ hates” skiing. It’s so boring. So small. I am within moments of leaving them behind and heading off for a week by myself.
Anyone coming ?😉

Pinkhouses can I come? I'm supposed to be in the Alps for skiing ATM but Ds lost his job so I had nowhere to stay.

Mine’s on day 2 of helping run a week long church holiday club. She’s shattered.

We've been to the cinema. A film he wanted to see. Now out for treats with his friends and mine. He's in full teen knob mood today. Not clear why although it won't have helped that he got up at 6.30 to watch tv

Yesterday I had dentist and ds couldn't get over the shock of it costing £22 for 5 minutes then we went food shopping as I prefer different and interesting foods during half term compared to my basic delivery of the same packed lunch stuff and pasta dinners of term time!

Today we were up at 5am as usual for morning training. Then out again at 5.45 for another 2 hours training later.

So he does need me still to facilitate his hobbies (but that's the life of a swim parent!) but it's actually given me a life. I've started socialising, having other adults to chat to and volunteering on the committee.

I'm more worried about his adulthood when he doesn't need me at all. Right now we have a perfect balance of him needing me and me having time to myself.

What film did you see @Wolfcub?