Spending husband's money...

[Mariagatzs12]

Someone on FB shared a meme of "oh how's I'd like to be a housewife whose only job is to to look hot and spend my husband's money".

To which I replied no thanks, I actually like to work and spend my own money. I do have expensive tastes, so this still stands. Well everybody got super against me because... Who doesn't want to spend someone else's money. I thought we were in the 21st century!

Even when I was with my ex I didn't spend his money. I work hard my money is there for me to spend and there is no one to guilt trip me about it.

Well if you’re looking after children and the house then actually whoever is working / staying at home is doing an equal job and any money is family money and should be shared and spent equally.

Exactly! My exH would question every penny I'd spend.

Well I am a ‘housewife’ (I’m a SAHM) and I don’t consider it ‘spending my husbands money’. I look after our children, which saves us considerable childcare fees. It’s family money.

Yes Fairylea, this is how my DH and I view the monies too. If I went to work and put in the same hours he does, there's no way we could afford to pay someone else to do the jobs of SAHM that I currently do. Childcare, cleaning, shopping, household admin to name few!

Unless she brings no money in and neither cleans, cooks more has children, a woman isn’t “spending a man’s money”, she’s working in the home and saving them both the cost of childcare, cleaning and housekeeping. She’s also forgoing potential career progression and pension contributions.
It’s a shame when women compete to put each other down.
I found maternity leave much harder than working!

Bloody typos! Sorry.

I don't think it was meant in that way. More in "well I can have a life of leisure and still buy a Mulberry bag from.my DHs paycheck".

Part of of the meme was that her only job was going to Pilates ie looking "hot".

I'd argue that it's only his money if she doesn't do anything in return. If she raises his children, she's not 'doing nothing'. Even if she has no children but spends all day making the house spotless and he comes home to his slippers warming by the fire, his dinner on the table and all his shirts ironed, she's still doing something. I mean, it's not a life I would want, but the idea that traditionally 'women's work' is worthless is very damaging.

Yes Isabelle the whole point was that her only job was to remain a "hot" wife

To be honest I would have just rolled my eyes and scrolled on instead of getting into a FB debate.
It's just pointless.

Yes Isabelle the whole point was that her only job was to remain a "hot" wife

I only saw that on your follow up post which was posted at the same time as I posted mine.

And if it's just a matter of looking hot then I agree, it's a pretty dull thing to aspire to.

Tbh if my only job was to be a 'hot wife' I'd probably suck at it! I have a fully functioning mum-bod. I look like I've had kids, because I have! I love pilates (when I can get to the class) because it makes me feel stronger. I hate small talk at the hair salon and I don't get regular manicures, pedicures, massages, or facials. I would be a terrible 'hot wife'!!

Tbf... Being "hot" is a part time job. Unless you have amazing genes

And I wouldn't buy a designer handbag because my children would probably draw on it with sharpies or fill it with jammy toast 🤷🏻‍♀️

@SomeLikeItTepid I still wear my Gucci bag every now and then as it's my favourite, but my baby is only 12 weeks. Past weaning I probably wouldn't do it!

Mariagatzs12 I still have my favourite bags, shoes etc stored away until they can safely come out again. Congratulations also, 12 weeks is a lovely stage, I remember it fondly 😊

Surely the thing about the 21st century is we should be past judging others? Live and let live...

I agree, challenging messages that men work and women don’t is what we should be doing for our children’s sakes.

Love the assumption that if you work you need a cleaner, housekeeper etc. Millions of parents manage to work and run a house without either. Some don’t even need childcare due to school, shifts around each other etc.

Oh 'life admin' takes the SAHM many hours a week.

MissGuernsey, forgot about the many hours of life admin

DH and I always have a chuckle when we read people need to stay and have an adult not working as running a household is a huge job and would take numerous staff if they went back to work.

It's probably because you put a big Debbie Downer on what was supposed to be a light hearted post.

God no, I’m a SAHM and ‘life admin’ barely takes any time. Nor does housework really. Actually looking after my three children does though. Would do opposite shifts but as he works away Monday- Friday it would be a bit difficult.

Sahm of school age children...I'm definitely doing it wrong as I don't look hot and spend most of my time cleaning. The only shopping I do seems to be food shopping.