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Original poster

Alone in foreign country and feeling really low

109 replies

Nifflernancy · 08/02/2020 23:19

Sorry for the call for help... but I’m by myself in a foreign country 6 hours ahead, my partner in UK is asleep and I’m struggling quite a lot with low mood/anxiety. No doubt because I’m all by myself and I’m panicking about things. I just want to be at home.

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 08/02/2020 23:38

Could you ask reception to use a sunbed cushion - maybe indicate bad back so need to lie on floor ? (Possibly crazy thought - it’s late here !)

ShyTown · 08/02/2020 23:38

You’re on my time zone! Obviously much further south though as it’s snowing here right now. Can you order something nice from room service or get takeout from the restaurant and eat in bed in your pyjamas?! I love doing that on holiday!

Mumdiva99 · 08/02/2020 23:39

I don't know where you are but I've done a few weeks in Mumbai (India) first few timea were near a good road for walking up and down just for a mooch or a restaurant/cafe. Then I was put by the airport as the office moved and it was closer but there was no where to go. The hotel wasn't great with no outside space. I asked to move to the old location - it took longer in The morning to get to work but gave me some control about my evening. Is this possible for you?

Original poster
Nifflernancy · 08/02/2020 23:39

Is it romance at all? Want to stay away from that!

OP posts:
Original poster
Nifflernancy · 08/02/2020 23:41

No I can’t really move hotel, I’ve already paid for the two nights unfortunately.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 08/02/2020 23:41

Omg just seen the book recommendation post - Eleanor Orpington is amazing for a binge read.

Gullible33 · 08/02/2020 23:43

A technique I have learned from Headspace that I find really helpful is to take a step back mentally and observe my feelings of anxiety, fear, stress etc. It seems to break the cycle of worrying about worrying. You can sign up for a free trial of Headspace if you think it might help.

People do care, it's so easy to forget that when we're experiencing anxiety but it's a sign of strength not weakness to ask for help.

Original poster
Nifflernancy · 08/02/2020 23:46

Yeah I have headspace and mindfulness should help...I’m just stuck in the cycle of panicking I think. I just don’t want to be here.

OP posts:
Hellokittymania · 08/02/2020 23:50

I have definitely been there, 0P. Try to think about the things you will get to do once you’re back, and during the day, try to find something to do that you enjoy, even something very small.

I have spent my fair share of time in developing countries, and in very rural areas, and sometimes it’s not easy… You have to find the little things that make you happy and make you feel safe.

Please, if anyone says you’re by the pool… Whatever… Ignore them. Nobody else is in your shoes. Many times, people can blow things out of proportion… I have had people say this kind of thing to me, when the reality is very very different.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 08/02/2020 23:51

What were yours reasons for going there?

Gullible33 · 08/02/2020 23:57

Sometimes I find it comforting to remember a pleasant experience, I tell myself a story about it pretending I am chatting to someone else and trying to re-create the happy, positive feelings I felt at the time.

Original poster
Nifflernancy · 09/02/2020 00:01

Well I just got back to my room and started sobbing! I feel so stupid for even thinking I could do this...I thought I was getting better and this would help me and prove myself, and I’ve just proved that I’m even more pathetic than I thought... sorry to sound so hopeless

OP posts:
sam221 · 09/02/2020 00:02

Listen to some music, a favourite song should help calm you down a little. If the hotel have a concierge service, ask about dinner delivery or order room service.
Most hotels go out of their way to ensure no bed bugs, if your in a chain hotel most operate good hygiene.
Maybe think about a few things you would still like to do on your trip or go for a swim/gym time.

Gullible33 · 09/02/2020 00:06

I am so sorry you feel so distressed, you are definitely not pathetic or hopeless at all, the fact that you can travel alone is evidence that you're a confident person.

Ring your partner, the sound of a familiar voice will help you. I am sure they will understand that this is an emergency.

Original poster
Nifflernancy · 09/02/2020 00:09

Well I’ve just had a thorough search of the bed and I can’t see anything, and I’m pretty used to knowing what they look like now. Although I did that in India and still found one at 11pm in a bloody bedside table. So I can’t even rely on that.

Everyone’s all coupled up here which doesn’t help as I’m having quite a few relationship troubles at the moment

OP posts:
Gullible33 · 09/02/2020 00:14

That's good that there is no evidence that you're sharing the bed with unwelcome visitors.

Appearances can be deceptive, even the most loved-up looking couples have probably hated each other's guts on occasion. You don't have to listen to anyone snoring or getting up to pee like a horse in the middle of the night, I can hear my husband going to the loo on a different floor!

Gullible33 · 09/02/2020 00:16

I find Jennifer Piercy's yoga nidra puts me out like a light, her voice is so hypnotic.

insighttimer.com/jenniferpiercy/guided-meditations/yoga-nidra-for-sleep

HeronLanyon · 09/02/2020 00:27

Good the bed scan has come up ok. Sobbing is a good way to release tension. I’ve suffered some bereavements recently and sobbing has been a feature and one I’ve come to make peace with and find positively useful sometimes.
Mind you I had a wobble in a Waitrose aisle a few months ago and really did have to pull myself together and have had a few tricky moments in restaurants talking with my dp. No shame in a good sob.
Grin

SallySun123 · 09/02/2020 00:35

Do you have enough WiFi to listen to a podcast? I’ve been too anxious to concentrate or be able to read recently but listening to a podcast or audio book makes me switch off. I don’t think you sound pathetic.

Original poster
Nifflernancy · 09/02/2020 00:46

Thank you for the suggestions x

I’ve had a shower and washed my hair, which killed some time. Also took a few anti anxiety tablets which will hopefully kick in soon. Any recommendations on podcasts?

OP posts:
SageYourResoluteOracle · 09/02/2020 00:51

Hello. Read your thread earlier but saw lots of lovely posters scoop you up. Thought I'd pop back to see how you're feeling- sounds like you're doing great!

Podcasts:
The High Low with Dolly Alderton and Pandora Sykes
How to Fail with Elizabeth Day
My Dad Wrote a Porno
Shameless

Hang on in there, be aware of your breathing. You've got this!

Original poster
Nifflernancy · 09/02/2020 00:53

You are all so kind... it made me have another cry as I was so grateful Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Nifflernancy · 09/02/2020 00:53

Thank you I will look up those podcasts!
Hopefully they will still work from abroad

OP posts:
Original poster
Nifflernancy · 09/02/2020 00:53

And I don’t feel like I’m doing great!

OP posts:
lopdedop · 09/02/2020 01:05

Have you read all the reviews for where you're staying? Is there any mention of bedbugs? If not, I'm sure you'll be fine.
The one place I stayed with bed bugs, I booked in a rush.
Turned out there were 3 or 4 reviews mentioning the place had a problem (and it was minging).
I was bitten. It wasn't great, very uncomfortable for a few weeks after.
I tried not to scratch, and applied antiseptic.
I left my bag in the garden when I got home, put all clothes on a hot wash. Then scrubbed and hoovered my bag. I always do this now as a precaution.
What are you afraid will happen ?