The Robbing Butcher - Bemused by the Patio at FrogMhor Cottage

[TheMustressMhor]

What next for the Robbing Butcher?

Will he wander past Mhor Cottage several times a day so that he can keep an eye on the progress of the patio?

Will Mr. Mhor's measurements turn out to be wrong? And will Mustress Mhor and her DH have too many SLABS as a result?

If they do, what will they do with them?

Will the eggs be dippy tomorrow?

Sign up below if you are interested in the answers to these pivotal questions.

Ha! , I got back from school run and ate an entire chicken ,bacon and avacado sandwich!
(Am greedy fucker!).
Dad dog pooped in hall , it's all good !😆

jeff what the fuck is good about the dog taking a dump in the hall?

The hairy harris holds it in. She reckons if she holds it in long enough she will get a long walk to ‘encourage it out’ - no flies on her!

The laugh of it is that she always gets out - except some walks are more exciting to her than others!

My old hound used to have a couple of accidents later in life because of meds. She tried to go where it was easily cleaned bless her.

But if you are a dog owner, poo comes with the lovely bits.

And little hairy harris will do at least three today because she does it in bits as a courtesy.

Oh mustress, I love you , took one look at your post made me laugh !
Nothing really! Just don't wish to moan !
I mean at least it wasn't on the carpet 🙂
How you feeling now?

Will say lady , ddog , was let out for business, but evidently took umbrage at the weather!
I mean she's a spaniel for gods sake their supposed to love water?

Tell me about it. This one spooks at extra noise and prefers to be ‘private’ when she goes. One random thump or beep and she kind of forgets what she was out to do.

She does go on command - but only my voice works. And that is only 90% really.

I love her though. Even though she’s a git in a dog suit. 😍

Ddog is frightened of everything! .... bag .... tape measure....laundry basket, you name it she's afraid! Then goes off like a hound from hell when the door goes 🤷‍♀️. Also did I mention that she's a little bit thick? , I mean I've never know a stupider dog , still she's ours and she's a cutie 😍.

Mr Jeff now in dog house!
He only put dds school dress in the tumble dryer! Despite being told a thousand times that they shrink 🤨.
Now a dh who does laundry sounds good , but only if he doesn't fuck up the clothes!

MEN AND LAUNDRY - A WOMAN SPEAKS

Jeff has raised an important point. Mr. Jeff has ruined a dress because, despite clear instructions to the contrary he put DD's school dress in the tumble dryer.

This is edging towards a murder/patio scenario for Mr. Jeff.

Personally, I have always wondered how it is that men (on the whole) manage to get into space and can do hard sums - but are signally incapable of using washing machines and tumble dryers.

I have given a good deal of time to this over the years, comrades.

Last year the Mhors bought one of those washing machines which can be operated remotely by WiFi.

Mr. Mhor backed away in fear when it was installed.

Like his life was going to be impacted by this piece of modern technology.

Ha!

Since he does absolutely half of the rest of the housework and cooking, and all of the gardening, I have given him a Free Pass WRT the washing.

He also does all the Home Improvements and washes the car.

But he is scared of the washing machine.

NOW WHAT

Two of the Mhor DC are on their way as I write this.

They are travelling on one of West Coast Motors finest motor coaches.

I have received a text from DS that "they have just left Inveraray".

Oh yes? Either the driver is a maniac (entirely possible) or they have changed the bus timetable without telling me (also entirely possible.)

I may have to go to the bus stop several minutes earlier than I had originally planned.

HOWEVER

The visit of the Mhor DC is good news for the Robbing Butcher, as we shall obviously have to purchase increased quantities of circular square sausage while they are here.

He had better not try to fob us off with his SSSS.

Very incitefull mustress , hope dc arrive safely and much round square sausage purchased!

Mr Jeff has only started doing laundry since he's been home a lot more ....everything washed on 30degree ..30min wash!
Sadly him still on military mornings , means I'm not up in time to intercede!

As a man 👨, he can't be told how wrong he is ...., obviously somehow I'm the one to blame ! 🤨

Now thinking 💭, technology adept men and domestic appliances,
We should write a paper on this!
15 years later mr Jeff still can't load the dishwasher properly!
He says I'm particular but and this is true.....
He put a tea plate flat down in top tier then.... a mug on top! , on top I tell you! .
What do you say to that eh?

What is it with men and washing???

Mr Hippo is not allowed near the washing machine since he a) put my favourite cashmere cardigan in on 60C and b) put in a large load of mixed white and dark 😡. He is usually quite clever, so it may be a trick to get out of washing, but am not taking any chances !!

The ex once was stood rinsing off plates at the sink - tap full on - and seemingly was oblivious to the water lapping round his ankles.

The pipe under the sink had come loose and the water was gushing out as fast as it came out of the tap.

I asked him why he didn’t turn the tap off once he’s noticed the leak. He said that he thought he’d rinse all the stuff for the dishwasher first ad then he could check for the leak....

He was very ‘clever’ but had the same amount of sense as a cotton wool ball. 😊

He never got bloody near the laundry.

One of my male friends had a fiancé who was quite high strung... all signs of turning into a bridezilla. He came to work ecstatic after having been thrown of the wedding committee (didn’t even know those existed). Apparently he had insisted on the theme colour “bright orange”. Never trust the clever ones....

right youngest junior jeff in bed, i have wine and am on laptop , guess what ? a bloody leak in conservatory roof .
what else today, I'm so fed up of this bastarding weather!
and no my typing is still crap!
i should just give up and get a secretary to type for me!

also how do you bookmark on this thing?

also how do you bookmark on this thing?

Click on the word "bookmark" which appears magically when you're at the post you want to bookmark.

Sorry. That sounded snarky but it wasn't meant to be. I can't explain it any better than that, jeff.

I would like a secretary too.

nope not happening , damn ,damn, maybe mrjeff was right about MacBooks ?
piece of crap, going back to phone as soon as its charged!

Right back on phone typing slower but still crap! Least I can see what I'm doing and can bookmark, also embarrassingly I can't remember email password, so can't get them on laptop , reminder email goes to mrjeff and he's away!

@TheMustressMhor , by the by , I quite like Neil snd whitely flavoured gin! 😉 ( controversial I know!!).
Never tried it before , it's all down to you!
Many thanks 🙏

THE ROBBING BUTCHER FINALLY FAILS THE MUSTRESS MHOR

Or perhaps that should be "The Robbing Butcher fails the Mustress Mhor yet again".

Right.

He was open (tick)

He had no circular square sausage

He had no sirloin steak

And I have two Mhor DC on my hands this weekend, looking forward to sirloin steak.

They are very likely ambivalent about the shape of the square sausage, but still - you expect a butcher (especially of the Robbing variety) to have a nice bit of steak in.

I am bitterly disappointed.

Mr. Mhor, of course, says it will teach them resilience.

This may be because DD made an opprobrious remark about the patio, and DS did not notice it at all.

If Mr. Mhor was hoping for praise and adulation from his DC I could have told him that that ship sailed years ago (round about the time they became teenagers and realised that their parents were just - ordinary - not superhuman.)

Almost a shame that the patio is finished... it would be such a good place to put the Robbing Butcher when he inevitably crosses the line of what is remotely acceptable

Am pondering consequences for Mr Hippo...

He just sent me a photo of LittleBoyHippo soaked in mud after playing football. I texted him to make sure he washed and to remove dirty clothes at the entry of our (clean) flat.

Next photo: LittleBoyHippo is even more muddy, it is now also all over his face and upper body (been rolling in the mud)

Third photo (subject “getting clean“): LittleBoyHippo is now washing in a murky, muddy, no doubt ice-cold pond/puddle....

Hippo this is unacceptable behaviour.

It follows on from your concerns that Mr. Hippo was incapable of doing the washing.