Baby in restaurant etiquette.

[YicketyYackMamasBack]

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

When my DS was born we took her out everywhere with us and she was in her pram. We just made sure the restaurant knew before hand.

One option on Valentine's Day would be to go for an earlier seating. Prior to having a child I don't think I'd have blinked if I saw a baby in a restaurant. Just wait if you want to fly long haul with a new born! The looks are hilarious!! 😆

@BlueMoon1103 thank you.

Totally agree, I think it’s unfair and selfish of couples to be out sexualising the restaurants with their adult only romantic love when I want to have a nice meal with my DP and DD

I think depends as well OP where you go.
Somewhere we a special menu, all the tables split into twos and lots of hearts scattered for the occasion. You are going to be as welcome as a bucket of cold sick.

Somewhere where it is a non event, standard menu and normal seating it isn't going to make a huge difference.

that’s a you problem, not a me problem

Christ alive. I’ve been brought up to be a people pleaser and it’s mostly a curse, but right now I’m so relieved I don’t think like this, ever!

when I want to have a nice meal with my DP and DD

You may want to have a nice meal, OP, but by taking your baby I can guarantee you won’t have one

Someone left the gate open to the it is all about me field.

Just in case you have lost your bearings, MeNet is that way ➡️

I would do it! Me and my husband went out for a nice meal on Valentine's Day when I was pregnant (same sort of place as you want to go by the sounds of it) and someone had their small baby with them and it wasn't a problem, it was very reassuring! When my first son was born we used to take him out with us in the evenings as he would just sleep in his car seat mostly! This worked for quite a few months as he would sleep then have a feed when we got home and go to bed then. I would say you'll be fine, it's the only age you will be able to do it lol

Have you got a sling? I’d go and take the baby in a sling.

We had a restaurant cancel our booking because we had requested space for a pram. Equally some restaurants are more than happy to accommodate newborns. Take advantage whilst you can and before you get stuck into bed time routines!

So embarrassed for you, OP. Why not demand a soft play thing caters to you? Proper ‘family friendly’ (people who chose to have a kid friendly) environment, shitty nappy smells, screaming, germs, bliss. If you want to have shit food, awful service and shit prices, go to a restaurant on Valentine’s Day, and make the other adults ‘suck up’ your offspring slumped in a car seat shitting itself and gurning. Sounds like an amazing way to spend your life 😂

So rude of you to start a thread, ignore all replies and act like the first woman on earth to ever have bred a kid. 👑 here’s a crown, congrats on having been fertilised.

@CustomerCervixDepartment

mic drop

An early bird sitting would be fine, any later and you might get some ‘looks’.

Enjoy the evening

@CustomerCervixDepartment my goodness.. are you ok?

You’ve got a serious hang up about children and you have the audacity to be embarrassed for me.

Oh dear..

I think we’re all embarrassed for you, OP.

OP people who disagree with you are not automatically baby haters 🙄

We’re not trying to put the boot in, OP (well, we’re not ALL trying to put the boot in), but what i was trying to say more gently above is that it is something all new parents have to come to terms with - life doesn’t carry on just as before, slotting a baby in seamlessly to your old life, no matter how lofty your intentions prebirth there are now restrictions on what you can do, what is a good idea to do, and what is sociably acceptable to do.

And not all of these restrictions are self imposed, a lot of them are imposed by social norms and other people’s reasonable expectations. Learning what these are is one of the more unpleasantly boring aspects of navigating your new life as parents. I Sympathise - for instance i realised that i couldn’t visit my parents on the other side of the country with a crawling baby, because i couldn’t let her crawl around the train carriage and annoy people, but stopping her led to screaming, and both were unacceptable to all the other passengers who had paid for peaceful travel. So for about a year, i had to forgo that activity, but with an older child it is fine again. you just have to think of ahead to how it would impact others. You will get your life back again as you had it, just not for a couple of years.

Am hoping the OP updates on the 15th with what a lovely time she had out with her DH/ baby for Valentines - certainly took my newborn out to all kinds of restaurants in the evenings . Accept that some babies will be less settled but mine always slept or lay there quietly .

So what if someone was born on Valentine’s Day? What if they want to go for a birthday meal?

My Birthday is on Valentines day, If I wanted to go out for a meal that day I'd be leaving the kids at home, otherwise I go out on a different day.

Tbh if I went out for VD and was seated next to a baby I would leave, I am not a baby hater but I do not want to go out for an enjoyable meal to be disturbed half way through my main course by someone else's crying, shitting, gurgling crotch goblin.

Isn’t the point not that it is a restaurant, but that is one of the only specifically adult-orientated nights if the year? I took my baby out to restaurants too and it was largely fine, and i love my 4 yr old and 10 week old more than life itself, but if i go out on valentines night, it’s to spend a few blissful hours with just my lovely husband and try to remember what we talk about that isn’t children. I think most people would say the same. It’s not the going out, it’s that particular choice of night.

Never had a problem taking a baby out to a restaurant or pub and never felt the need to tell them when booking. You only book for people who are eating/sitting and they won't turn you away for having a baby.

In terms of pram or car seat, do whatever you're most comfortable with. Pram is easier so long as the place has space as we found sometimes the chairs aren't wide enough for car seats to sit on so the slightest nudge and it would fall off.

Don't over think it just do it, this is the easiest time to eat out with a baby so do it as much as you can before they're big enough to be grabbing your food, climbing across the table or running in the opposite direction.

Enjoy!

OP sounds suspiciously like chips and beans in the canteen lady, if anyone remembers that

I don't remember that one but She reminds me of the Woman who snuck her baby in a sling under her coat into a child free restaurant then was pissed off when they asked her to leave.

You only book for people who are eating/sitting and they won't turn you away for having a baby.

Some places will definitely turn you away for having a baby - some have a no children policy, some have licences that don’t allow minors etc.

FFS no one is saying don’t take a baby to a restaurant, but that it’s better to avoid doing so on one particular night of what is a 366 day year!!

The people who don’t see an issue with it are the same type of people who play loud music so you can hear it through the walls, or those who shout down a mobile in a quiet carriage. Basically selfish people who thinks the world revolves around them!

The difference being for people who don’t want a baby in a restaurant ON VALENTINES NIGHT or don’t want to be subjected to other people’s loud music is that their own actions (eg listening to music quietly or going out as a couple on what is pretty much universally known as a day for couples) do not have an impact on other people’s enjoyment!!