Baby in restaurant etiquette.

[YicketyYackMamasBack]

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

What do you mean @Green Tulips
It's not selfish at all. If you want to enjoy a meal without children then go later of book a child free restaurant.

Of course anyone has a right to go out any night they please! All we're saying is it might be more relaxing for the OP and others if it's not Valentine's Day

@AudacityOfHope it's not OP's responsibility to help stranger's relax.

I'm saying it might be more relaxing for her.

@AudacityOfHope As an adult I'd find her capable of making thst decision.

Definitely take the whole pram she shouldn't be left to sleep in a car seat.

Is there really a thing like "kids free restaurants"... they sound so lovely 🥰

All of us - the Jacks and Jills of the world- to eat in peace and quite for once 😂

I think you are being quite selfish and self-centered on this particular day. While my DH and I aren't bothered about Valentine's Day, it does matter to a lot of people and I think you are being out of order to potentially ruin other people's special night. Many will have gone through a lot of expense of getting a babysitter, not to mention that it is harder to get a table.

@Papoy Yep. There was even a post on here a few months back where an OP was mad because she brought her newborn to a child free restaurant.

@Grumpelstilskin how ridiculous. The 15th February could be someone's birthday, they'd spent their last penny on childcare and hadn't had an evening out without a child in 10 years. So what? No one goes around thinking of potential annoyances a human can cause to others.
No one has a right to police places they don't own.

Well, the answer is you need to take the pram. A car seat for that length of time is not ideal.

However, the problem is you seem to have picked the one night when most restaurants could not fit a pram in as they cram as many diners as possible into the space. And for some reason going the night before or after when the pram and space should not be an issue is not possible.....

Valentine's Day isn't about love for everyone. It's about love for your romantic partner. Your family are in the minority here. Don't take baby out on Valentine's Day. There will be loads of couples hoping for a quiet intimate evening.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/valentines-day-not-just-f_b_166396/amp

Valentine’s Day was originally a day for love, not lovers.

It’s only commercially celebrated for romantic love, in fact there is no actual connection between the celebrations of Saint Valentine and romantic love. People associated it with romantic love themselves after the 14th century.

The festival of fertility that people often mistake for Valentine’s Day, as some of you PP have, it’s actually celebrated February 13th-15th, it’s called Lupercalia.

So as much as I’m sure all these children hating couples who have all forked our for their own childcare or just wrongly assumed that all children get out in the basement on the 14th of February would love to not see mine, or anyone else’s children.. apparently including their own in a pub for food, are going to be sorely mistaken at my local as I’ve rang and asked about bringing the baby, to which I was told we are more than welcome and we’re asked if we would need a high chair (said no obviously). Even some friendly chit chat from the lady about how old DD is and her name.

I’m sure all of the tragic, crestfallen anti-family

Posters are going to still try and tell me Valentine’s Day is for couples only and I’m oh-so selfish.

It’s our Valentine’s Day too. I shouldn’t have to worry about other people’s plans. Each to their own. I’m prepared for tuts and eye rolls, as I’m sure there is bound to be someone much like most of the posters here, miserable.

Have a lovely Valentines Day everyone, no matter how you are spending it

I won’t be returning to the thread as the table is booked, so there’s no need.
I’m sure you’re all horrified.

Thank you to those who have been kind and given the advice I actually asked for.

Enjoy OP.

Good luck op and congrats btw.
My family celebrated VD as a wider thing (cards from both parents to us kids - not the other way around except when we were very small).
I am not a fan of eating out on VD - eat out a lot - never on VD.
I’d be surprised to see children but not a new born. In fact I’d like that the parents of a newborn had the energy/romance etc to even think of going out that night !
I just think it’s the very worst night to choose to go out for you - what a load of stress for you for a first outing on a crowded busy couples oriented night. Add in your thoughts about whether you’d actually be ‘welcome’ and it just sounds a nightmare for you!
Hope it goes well.

As a new first time mum I wouldn’t do this.
Yes I adore my newborn and think he’s the best thing ever but, although he was quiet when he was first born, he got to five weeks and found his voice.
5pm onwards is his witching hour so he’s now awake and noisy, cooing and complaining, feeding incessantly and then needing to be winded as he also developed reflux at 4-5 weeks.
Even when he sleeps it’s like having a noisy, drunken piglet next to you.

Even if you’re not bothered about other people, I wouldn’t do it as I don’t think I’d be able to relax but maybe your newborn will be lovely and quiet and chilled still, they’re all different!

Personally at this stage I’d do a pub lunch one day and a lovely chilled takeaway with wine and a film on the actual night

Oh sorry just seen you’ve booked a table. Hope it goes smoothly and you enjoy it.

Okay, OP’s either an angsty teenager or has some behavioural issues given most of those responses. Ends with the equivalent of running into their bedroom and slamming the door as well!

Very brave though, mine are older and grown up and so I don’t have to take them or have them minded but no way in hell would I go out for dinner on Valentine’s Day. Every restaurant crowded, tables positioned to pack on maximum number of diners. Slow service, often shitty modified menu to accomodate the large number of diners. No way am I indulging in such a shit show, go out another time when it’s not all packed and I get better service and food.

I never had any issue taking my kids out to appropriate restaurants at an appropriate hour. I certainly don’t think kids shouldn’t be at appropriate restaurants, why not? What I wouldn’t do is take a pram to a packed restaurant on Valentine’s Day where it gets in the way and waiters and other patrons have to try and dodge around it. Same reason why I wouldn’t take a pram to a Chinese restaurant at Chinese New Year for instance. Same reason why I wouldn’t take a pram to a restaurant on a busy Friday or Saturday night. Because I’m not selfish and consider those around me. I’d happily take a pram to a restaurant on a quite night. Then again, I don’t do the internet equivalent of running into my bedroom and slamming the door either and acted like a grown up when I had my kids.

as pp have said, a sling is the best solution here as then the baby isn't taking up any extra space. we had a nice restaurant neal with bubba in a sling at a couple of months old for a wedding anniversary which was fine.

restaurants are very unpleasant stressful places on valentine's day though. a much more miserable experience with lower quality badly prepared food served by overworked staff who don't have time to care for guests properly, and yet charged extra for the privilege. my especial bugbear is that restaurants that normally have decent vegetarian options will have a "special" valentine's menu where the only veggie option is pasta in tomato sauce or a f*ing goats cheese tart. and you are expected to hoover it up double-quick-time so the restaurant can fleece the next poor couple whose booking has been made for 75 minutes after yours so better not savour your meal too much or attempt to have any enjoyable conversation between mouthfuls.

you'll have a much nicer time if you book your meal out for the 15th or 16th instead. with a young baby these special occasions are too rare to waste on a day when you have no chance of getting good service.

Of course you won’t return to the thread, OP. You won’t want to come back and admit to us all what a miserable time you had after being so stubborn and selfish.

I reckon they will come back to gloat.
Saying bubba was showered in rose petals and other diners clubbed together to pay for their meal as they were astounded at the beauty of the child they managed to produce. Not to mention the violinist choosing to play lullaby music instead of ‘thats amore’ or similar.

Some overt preening will take place
before they retreat with the screaming beelzebubba that caused them to have dessert forks and spoons launched at the cooing parents

She will definitely be back on the 15th, but there’s no way in hell she will admit having anything less than the most blissful, romantic date ever.

And in OPs eyes, even if the other diners are pissed off when the baby starts crying, she clearly won’t give a shit anyway from all her other responses. Delightful woman.

'I reckon they will come back to gloat.
Saying bubba was showered in rose petals and other diners clubbed together to pay for their meal as they were astounded at the beauty of the child they managed to produce. Not to mention the violinist choosing to play lullaby music instead of ‘thats amore’ or similar.

OP sounds like the kind of mother who is so utterly self obsessed and convinced of the world revolving around her baby that she actually genuinely wouldn’t notice that she was disturbing other people.