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Original poster

Baby in restaurant etiquette.

305 replies

YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:14

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 07/02/2020 10:46

@ZeroFuchsGiven that's going to be the thread on the 15th February Grin

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2020 10:53

You're coming across as rather dim OP.

AlexaAmbidextra · 07/02/2020 10:57

OP sounds suspiciously like chips and beans in the canteen lady, if anyone remembers that. She too was the first woman to ever become pregnant.

I don’t think chips & beans is due until around June is she?

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PersephoneandHades · 07/02/2020 11:02

Due to your replies I really hope the restaurants you were considering simply tell you they don't allow babies Grin

St. Valentine wedded couples illegally during Roman rule, and its further origins were of couples pairing off and celebrating fertility aka having sex, so it is a celebration of romantic love, the fact that you want it to be a family fun trip out is a you problem, not an us problem, lol.

crimsonlake · 07/02/2020 11:08

People have given up their time to post, the OP has now turned rude and entitled, says it all really.

AllPointsNorth · 07/02/2020 11:26

Not Valentine’s related, but the best places I went to with a newborn were medium-range Turkish, Italian and Spanish restaurants. Left the pram and carried the baby in the crook of my arm. DH and I took turns to hold her, but she was an amazing sleeper.

OralBee · 07/02/2020 12:00

Can I just take the conversation off topic to ask more about the ‘chips and beans canteen lady’ because that sounds interesting!

Geneshish · 07/02/2020 12:33

Nothing more lovely than seeing a young couple with their little newborn out on their first valentine's day as parents. If she makes noise then give her a bottle or take our outside for a cuddle. Only on MN will you find people this uptight and easily outraged. Real life people who are relaxing in a nice pub will not suddenly stiffen up and stop having a nice time at the very sight of a newborn Grin

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2020 12:42

Nothing more lovely than seeing a young couple with their little newborn out on their first valentine's day as parents Hmm

I can think of plenty of things!

AlexaAmbidextra · 07/02/2020 13:05

Nothing more lovely than seeing a young couple with their little newborn out on their first valentine's day as parents.

I think a peaceful dinner with not a child in sight is far lovelier tbh.

midwestfornow · 07/02/2020 13:06

Real life people who are relaxing in a nice pub will not suddenly stiffen up and stop having a nice time at the very sight of a newborn

My real life experience is that people do exactly this, even at lunch time and on a normal day.
I never attempted Valentines or NYE, but it wasn't every time so OP may get lucky.

Mamabear2020 · 07/02/2020 13:56

This thread makes for fascinating lunchtime reading. As the parent of an 18 month old, and expecting another this month, I would say dont do it. I hate having an evening out at a nice restaurant and having to listen to other peoples babies/toddlers. It completely changes the mood and that's on a normal Friday/Saturday never mind Valentines Day! Similarly with people who take their children into pubs in the evenings - it's an adult only environment and it's pretty selfish and inconsiderate. Many people have suggested going out at lunchtime instead but its falling on deaf ears.

That said, from your responses, your opinion is all that matters and you're doing it regardless... so yes, take the whole pram in. Please dont take a newborn in a car seat and put them on a seat or the floor in a busy establishment, that's dangerous, and as others have mentioned, they shouldn't be in the car seat that long at 5 weeks.

Good luck, I suspect you'll need it.

BossAssBitch · 07/02/2020 14:02

OP, please tell me which restaurant you are going to so I can avoid it.

And the manageress took great delight in insisting on cuddling her and taking her round every table in the restaurant to show off

Please let me have the name of this Thai restaurant so again, I can put in on my 'don't ever go there' list.

ScarlettBlaize · 07/02/2020 14:07

Looking into my crystal ball, I can see the OP posting a 1-star tripadvisor review on 15th Feb.

"Bitchy manager made a sour face when I brought in my lil bubba. Loud music woke my bubz up. Nasty people at next table made us feel unwelcome."

kenandbarbie · 07/02/2020 14:12

Tell them you're bringing the pram, pick somewhere with space beside the table for it. Hopefully she'll sleep through the whole lot

okiedokieme · 07/02/2020 14:21

There's a lot of people here who really don't like kids - couple with new baby want to go out on Valentine's Day is hardly a crime! Just book for an early time slot and make sure they know you have a pram, we went to an Indian restaurant if I remember correctly (it was a long time ago!) and they spoilt dd (then almost a year and walking) rotten, the owners wife wanted to play with her, found her toys brought her special food that she makes for her grandkids etc (this was in America, I don't think people with kids go to Indian restaurants there). Choose wisely, you'll have a great time

Pinksaffire · 07/02/2020 14:43

We had to take our children out for dinner last Valentine’s Day (we were staying in a hotel and going on holiday the next day so had no choice but to eat out)
I felt so uncomfortable being surrounded by couples and very conscious that my children needed to be on their best behaviour.
This made me on edge for the entire evening.
When we as a family eat out not on Valentine’s Day it’s relaxed and enjoyable!
I couldn’t wait for this meal to end to be honest.

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/02/2020 15:07

There's a lot of people here who really don't like kids

Shit folks, we've been rumbled! The old by-line was "Mumsnet - for people who hate kids". But for some reason @JustineMN changed it to "by parents for parents". No idea why.Grin

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2020 15:11

There's a lot of people here who really don't like kids it's not the kids it's the parents.

MAFIL · 07/02/2020 15:23

OP, honestly, just go the day before or afterwards. I am someone who believes strongly in doing things as a family and always have always taken my children to restaurants etc from being babies onwards.Plus my DH was brought up in a different culture where it is absolutely normal for children to accompany their parents to restaurants etc and he finds the British attitude to things like this quite alien.But even we wouldn't take a baby out on Valentine's night.
Why? Because as has been amply demonstrated here, most people consider it to be an adult event, specifically a romantic couple's event, and will have a particular expectation of what their evening is going to be like. And that expectation does not generally include someone else's crying baby.
You can't guarantee your baby won't cry. It isn't like taking an older child who you can have taught the appropriate behaviour to. Even with a toddler you stand some chance of controlling their behaviour and can make a reasoned guess on what might happen based on previous experiences. But a 5 week old baby? Nah. She might be the mildest, most cheerful baby today but a nightmare tomorrow. And you will be just approaching 6 weeks, which is classic growth spurt/develomental leap/wonder week or whatever you choose to call it, territory, when otherwise "good" babies can temporarily turn into wailing banshees, particularly in the evening. What are you going to do if that happens? Eat your meal bouncing her on your knee hoping she settles? Take it in turns walking round with her outside? Leave, with your (probably outrageously expensive) meals half eaten? None of those options sound like a particularly nice night out to me.
Yes, she might sleep through the whole thing, but it's by no means certain, and it is something you have no control over. The restaurant will be noisy and packed probably, so hardly a restful environment for a baby. Or you. Or the rest of the diners. Or the staff.
There is nothing really special about 14th Feb. It is just a random date chosen to commemorate a Roman martyr that has developed an association with romantic love. Restaurants put their prices up and get uncomfortably full. You will get just as nice a meal, probably for less money in a more relaxed atmosphere on a different night.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 07/02/2020 16:37

I'd either go the evening before or book a table for lunch time. Valentine's evening is not a place for babies.

Geneshish · 07/02/2020 16:57

Loving the posters who are getting more and more irate about this and writing paragraphs and paragraphs. Calm down and find something better to do with your time. If you dont have a real life problem to spend your time on then just thank your lucky stars and breathe for a moment. OP enjoy your valentine's evening Wink

PatricksRum · 07/02/2020 19:49

Oh fgs. OP please go out on valentine's day. There's no need to go the day before or after.
I've only heard this on mumsnet.
I will take my child out on any day of the year, it's my right.
Check with the restaurant as to what time is cut off time for babies etc and go.
I'd use a sling.

GreenTulips · 07/02/2020 20:15

I will take my child out on any day of the year, it's my right

Good luck with the teen years.

SproutMuncher · 07/02/2020 21:19

I will take my child out on any day of the year, it’s my right

No one is saying you don’t have the right to take your kids out on Valentine’s Day @PatricksRum. People are saying it makes you a selfish arse.