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Original poster

Coffee shops on a Sunday morning and children

369 replies

Needmorecaffine · 02/02/2020 11:10

This will kick off no doubt but hey. Slightly tongue in cheek.

Coffee shops on a Sunday morning should be a haven for adults who seek to get away in piece and quiet from every day life for an hour. That means getting away from your own children , DH etc Grin

So been here 5 mins , had to queue behind a mother with her toddler using the display of pastries like choosing sweets in a sweet shop ! Just pick up a croissant get your latte soya single shot and move along !

Then we have the child , mother and grandmother. The GM doing the exaggerated parenting in this case with the GC much to the horror of her own DD. Thankfully they've gone.

Piece and quiet now reins ....

OP posts:
Watershed1 · 02/02/2020 13:09

So you got up to go to a coffee shop in order to have some "adult time," and then spent your free time complaining about children. Surely you'd have been better off just drinking your coffee and minding your own? Children are people too y'know. They may not have much money but there's a place for them as well as you in public spaces. Sucks doesn't it

Oly4 · 02/02/2020 13:09

Yabvu. People without kids in tow have restaurants and amazing bars in the evenings. Those of us with little sprogs get coffee shops on a Sunday morning. Have coffee in your bedroom/bath if you want peace

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 02/02/2020 13:09

I've had my parent friends say to me "how will they learn to behave when out if we don't take them" but somehow, my generation learned. What a mystery.

I don’t know what generation you are but I was brought up going to coffee shops, restaurants etc and knew how to behave in them. My DC were too.

All the bars around here are child and dog friendly as well Grin

Most will- that’s who they make money off Grin kids want food, then dessert, and endless drinks. Parents buy it just to keep them quiet so they can chat to each other. Come several times a Week.

Lone adults nursing a single coffee and using the WiFi for a couple of hours on a Sunday- not much of a loss. Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 02/02/2020 13:10

I have a 4 yo and newborn twins, we love a trip to Starbucks or Costa (no independents here) but when I'm child free I would happily go to an adults only cafe assuming the adults weren't allowed to be loud or obnoxious either. However I imagine most cafes are kept running on the family pound

blue25 · 02/02/2020 13:10

YANBU. These places have been ruined by thoughtless parents and their bratty kids.

AutumnRose1 · 02/02/2020 13:11

if anyone can name one pub or bar in North London that doesn't allow children, I'll be there.

wax I don't have a specific list, I'd just really like an option for childfree.

but it certainly wasn't a norm to take children everywhere in the past. A rellie treated me to a posh lunch in London recently and when we walked in she said "OMD, is it compulsory to bring a baby to restaurants now?" - she's not a Londoner.

A friend's husband runs a place in Cambridge and deliberately only has one highchair, which so far, he says is working quite well.

AutumnRose1 · 02/02/2020 13:14

Juan "I don’t know what generation you are but I was brought up going to coffee shops, restaurants etc and knew how to behave in them. My DC were too."

I'm probably a lot older than you - 44.

It was very much a rare treat to just go to Pizza Hut. Coffee shops didn't exist in the way they do now. We learned how to behave in smarter places when we were teens. My parents didn't have a lot of money though - to be fair, I don't know if wealthier kids were out all the time, they might have been.

My olds belonged to a babysitting circle - so no charge, but taking it in turns to go to the pub etc without kids in tow. We had some lovely babysitters and it was good for my folks to have some time together without us in tow, I reckon.

80sMum · 02/02/2020 13:15

I think if one is going to be paying a small fortune for a mere cup of coffee and a piece of cake, it should at least be served in a civilised and calm environment, otherwise what's the point of going out/forking out? So, I agree with the OP on this one.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 02/02/2020 13:16

OP I am childfree and this has driven me out of most public spaces over the last 20 years. Even museums and galleries are playgrounds now.

I think at the point where you are cross that people are taking children to a museum you've got to look at yourself.

AFirst · 02/02/2020 13:16

One of my DC works in a coffee shops and wishes he could ban parents with little children.

Not all parents but some.....

  1. Screaming kids are really irritating. A quick cry is understandable but don’t subject everyone to your kids wailing and wailing
  2. Some parents let little kids wander around. It’s dangerous and irritating. Staff and customers are walking about with hot drinks and can’t always see a little kid. 3). Funnily enough the staff don’t enjoy cleaning up after little kids have trashed the place. It’s obnoxious and lazy of their parents. If parents wouldn’t allow their kid to shred a chocolate croissant all over their own floors why do they think it’s acceptable to do it in a coffee shop. It’s also not ok to leave their own rubbish (wet wipes etc) for the staff to clear up. They should take their own rubbish home with them.

Coffee shop staff often work very long hours and are on minimum wage. It’s fast paced physical job and they are usually on their feet all day with minimal breaks ( I think it can be 20 mins for an 8 hour shift. My son often works 12 1/2 hour days (then he only gets two 20 min breaks).

jaffaeclipse · 02/02/2020 13:17

to watch the rugby and the pub was full of screeching kids doing laps, bumping into tables while the parents sat getting bladdered and smiling indulgently. Nobody having food, just tables full of Fruit Shoots and sticky wine glasses.

Now that would annoy me. Coffee shops are for adults, pubs (except the restaurant part) are for adults.

Watershed1 · 02/02/2020 13:17

blue25 - what a nasty generalisation. All parents who frequent these places are "thoughtless?" And their children - all of them mind - are "bratty?" Wow. Perhaps you're the one who shouldn't be there with a nice community-minded attitude like the one you're sporting. How rude and insulting some people can be. It's shocking.

Topseyt · 02/02/2020 13:18

Sunday is also a non-school day when more families can go to places like coffee shops. You are being unreasonable to expect them not to if they want to. For many it is a family outing at the weekend. You would be perfectly reasonable though to expect parents to keep control of their children and not let them run amok shrieking etc.

Coffee shops on a weekday during school hours and term time could be a better bet, though of course you could be working then.

My "children" are now pretty well grown up, with the youngest turning 18 later this year. Therefore I guess I am at a similar life stage to you. I can even have adult time with my "children" now and I am enjoying that. I must admit that unless other people's children are really behaving horrendously I don't actually pay them a lot of attention. They are as entitled to be there as I am.

That is how things will stay for us until or unless one of our daughters ever makes us grandparents.

MyuMe · 02/02/2020 13:18

I am sitting in one right now.

Children are very well behaved and they are young.

Perhaps you just got unlucky

saraclara · 02/02/2020 13:19

Heh!

I KNEW some people would take the OP seriously, even though her OP was clearly meant to be light-hearted. I didn't expect almost everyone to have the humour sail right over their heads though!

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 02/02/2020 13:19

I'm probably a lot older than you - 44.

You’re 10 years older than me. My parents also went out together without us, they had babysitters too but they also took us out for dinner sometimes and on weekends to cafes and coffee shops from birth.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 02/02/2020 13:19

I love it when people go on out about how superior their parents' parenting was to what they see today.

A) you don't remember when you were a baby or toddler, so you're comparing to being a much older child
B) it might have seemed to you that you were so well controlled that you were never a pain, that doesn't mean everyone around you agreed!

I've heard my brother say that we would never have done such and such a thing and that we knew how to behave. Unfortunately for him I'm older and remember what an absolute nightmare of a toddler he was!

CeibaTree · 02/02/2020 13:19

If you don't have young children OP, why aren't you spending Sunday mornings in bed? For that reason YABU.

Libertylee · 02/02/2020 13:20

I agree- I feel like they turn into mini crèches, especially during school holidays.

AutumnRose1 · 02/02/2020 13:20

Lisa "I think at the point where you are cross that people are taking children to a museum you've got to look at yourself."

sorry, I should have explained that better.

the last Sunday trips I took to the Tate and Museum of London, children were running around, shrieking, having tantrums because they were bored (understandable) and parents made no effort to control.

it's a while ago now but if you google about it, it comes up quite often that people are put off and I think it might be why Friday night lates started in a lot of places.

My god daughter's parents have actually been mocked for trying to raise her to be quiet in these sorts of situations.

So there's a change in behaviour as well. I think one of the big defenders of this is on MN actually - there was an article about how it's stupid if someone wants their appreciation of brushwork to be peaceful and we should just cope with children running around a gallery.

anyway, speaking of peace, that's the last I'll post on this thread. Have nice Sundays everyone.

SyntheticPumpkin · 02/02/2020 13:21

I’m not sure anyone’s complaining about children being taken to museums, are they? Just how they are allowed to behave when they’re there. I remember various museum trips growing up, but expected behaviour from a small child was to walk around and talk (relatively) quietly. Not, as I’ve seen recently, to play tag, push people out of the way and yell at the top of your voice.

Sleepyblueocean · 02/02/2020 13:21

We take ds to a quiet coffee shop most Sunday mornings. We are generally first in so don't see many other people and don't stay long. Ds can make disability related noise but we try to keep it down as much as possible. He likes food and it is good for his social development so I don't think it is a big issue others having some noise for a short while. Costa and places like that are too busy for him to cope with.

Afrigginggoat · 02/02/2020 13:22

I've got older kids. We still spend Sunday together most of the time. What a shame the op's children don't feel the same.

LightDrizzle · 02/02/2020 13:22

Notso - they sing?! 🥴

iklboo · 02/02/2020 13:22

Funnily enough the staff don’t enjoy cleaning up after little kids have trashed the place. It’s obnoxious and lazy of their parents. If parents wouldn’t allow their kid to shred a chocolate croissant all over their own floors why do they think it’s acceptable to do it in a coffee shop.

Totally agree. We used to ask for cloths / dustpan and brush when DS was little. Or pick up dropped stuff by hand if we could. Horrible to leave a place looking like a rubbish dump after a tornado.

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