Coffee shops on a Sunday morning and children

[Needmorecaffine]

This will kick off no doubt but hey. Slightly tongue in cheek.

Coffee shops on a Sunday morning should be a haven for adults who seek to get away in piece and quiet from every day life for an hour. That means getting away from your own children , DH etc

So been here 5 mins , had to queue behind a mother with her toddler using the display of pastries like choosing sweets in a sweet shop ! Just pick up a croissant get your latte soya single shot and move along !

Then we have the child , mother and grandmother. The GM doing the exaggerated parenting in this case with the GC much to the horror of her own DD. Thankfully they've gone.

Piece and quiet now reins ....

YABU. Dont go to a public place if you cant deal with the public.

It really is as simple as that. If you want perfect peace and quiet- buy a takeaway coffee and have it at home.

Reigns.

YABU - it takes me 20 minutes to decide which croissant I want, never mind a small undecided child.

They are NOT all the same . . .

I don't think it's toddlers per se, it's just some families.

YANBU, OP. I'm at the same stage as you with older children. If I were to walk into a cafe and find it full of toddlers and buggies I'd walk straight back out.

I have a wonderful cafe near me, that has a very adult friendly menu. No cheap shite for the kids. It’s great. You rarely see a child in it and on the rare occasion you do, it’s usually a very well mannered little child. The owner prefers it that way, too. It’s great. I sit there with a beautiful coffee, freshly prepared food and a gorgeous treat afterwards, with nothing but the gentle, quiet chat of patrons, in the background. No, being rushed out or listening to performance parenting or squealing children. Also no loud music, blaring out. Bliss. sigh, that’s it, I’m going tomorrow.

My mid-week coffee has been spoilt by a parent and baby group that I'd probably have loved when I had a baby but not so much now. They take up most of the space, hog the toilets and sing.

Now this I DO disagree with. If you're going to have an organised group like that (especially if they're going to SING!) then you use a private space. That's really intrusive behaviour.

To be honest, I don't know why mums and tots meet in coffee places. If they took turns hosting in their homes, their kids would be much more comfortable.

It depends on the children really. I have no issue with small children being anywhere much - so long as their parents or guardians are taking proper care of them.

With DS1 I would have avoided a coffee shop situation like the plague - he has ASD & had ADHD as a child. Sitting still quietly for him was an impossibility.

However, with DS2 & DD we could quite happily go somewhere for coffee and cake without causing a huge upset.

Dogs in a coffee shop however - no, just no.

I don't see what's so wrong about wanting an adult-only coffee shop

P.s. YANBU. sticks out tongue at angry parents and runs away

We have a kiddy free cafe :) it’s fab. Lol. I love kids, I love doing things with my grandchildren. But I also love kid free time :)

PineappleDanish me too.

MimiLaRue Why should OP have to get a takeaway coffee and go back home for peace and quiet? She has as much right as anyone to want to go out and not to expect the cafe to be taken over by badly behaved children and even more badly behaved parents, most of whom I see talking on their phones and neither keeping their children under control nor engaging with them.

Rachie18973 So lucky! A friend of mine and I once seriously considered doing this but it never got off the ground.

how will they learn to behave when out if we don't take them" but somehow, my generation learned. What a mystery.

Ah, I see, and I suppose you were brought up in Victorian England, where children were never taken out in public places as they were too busy toiling in the work houses. Please let us know your secret to keeping yourself young at the ripe old age of 157.

To be honest, I don't know why mums and tots meet in coffee places. If they took turns hosting in their homes, their kids would be much more comfortable.

This. With bells on.

I would absolutely love a child free cafe, just to balance things a bit.

Free range speedy toddlers should be banned from supermarkets at peak times unless they have a high flag attached or a parent following 2 feet behind.

I don't see what's so wrong about wanting an adult-only coffee shop

Theres nothing wrong with it, but its not going to happen. In this economy, with the amount of competition coffee shops face from other franchises, eliminating young mums/ grandparents with their GC etc would be a really, really stupid financial decision. When you have a business you want as many customers as possible- cutting your customer base in half makes zero financial sense

HomerSimpson there were no coffee shops when I was bringing my kids up in the 80s/90s. They learnt good behaviour when they were at home and consequently knew how to behave when they were away from home. Nothing to do with being Victorian.

Teach kids how to behave wherever they happen to be and if they can't don't take them to coffee shops where they are disruptive. Simple.

With DS1 I would have avoided a coffee shop situation like the plague - he has ASD & had ADHD as a child. Sitting still quietly for him was an impossibility.

Funnily enough, there are a couple of parents who attend the cafe I mentioned, with children with SN, ADHD, etc and they can be a little bit noisy, at times but that doesn’t seem to bother anyone, because I think the quieter environment actually helps the child. There’s a difference between a child that needs extra care and lazy parents that seem to think a cafe is a playroom.

Dogs in a coffee shop however - no, just no.

This place is definitely not dog friendly, but I don’t have an issue with some cafes being dog friendly. The dogs tend to behave better than children and ironically the dog friendly cafe owners will ask owners to remove a badly behaved dog, whereas most cafe owners/staff just put up with badly behaved children. It would appear that dogs tend to be better behaved, on the hole, than children,

puts on camouflage gear and crawls quickly on belly to exit, past missiles thrown by furious parents

She has as much right as anyone to want to go out and not to expect the cafe to be taken over by badly behaved children and even more badly behaved parents

Actually, she doesnt have a "right" to peace and quiet. Parents have just as much right to go into coffee shops as OP does. Also, she didnt mention toddlers running riot- she said they took a long time choosing a pastry- does that contravene OP's human rights too?

To be honest, I don't know why mums and tots meet in coffee places. If they took turns hosting in their homes, their kids would be much more comfortable.

Not everyone has a house big enough to host the size of the groups that meet. Not sure my friend's mid-terrace two bedroom house would fit 5-6 mums, their children and all their stuff.

@MimiLaRue Oh, it will... we are turning into an ageing population, there are far less children than adults already and with many children choosing not to have children, these spaces will come.

There are some coffee shops that seem to discourage children though. Small, trendy/hipster type, no high chairs, adult oriented menu with few simple options etc. I know of several like this and they seem to thrive. I don't think it'd work for every coffee shop/cafe though.

When you have a business you want as many customers as possible- cutting your customer base in half makes zero financial sense

It’s actually the reason the local gorgeous cafe is so popular with adults. No kids.

About houses being too small to host mum and child reunions... To be honest, most cafes do not have the space to host 5 or more active young kids. Taking turns at homes is more appropriate until the kids can stay at their seats.

YANBU.

It's not really families/ children that are the problem, but the families that don't consider their surroundings.

I say this as the mother of two energetic children (one with SNs that can affect his behaviour). I have to read my DCs moods, let them burn off energy and manage them. It's not fair on the rest of the world to let them run feral, or glue them to a tablet with noise just because it would make my life easier. My outcomes are not always perfect, but I do try. If I'm there child-free, or working away at keeping my children as civilised members of society, I don't have much spare patience left for others. I quickly learned that lingering and (my) DCs don't mix, so I'm careful about where we go in the first place and not outstaying our welcome.

Fair play to the children who peacefully just get on with it, but there too many families that don't match up the needs of children with their surroundings.