Coffee shops on a Sunday morning and children

[Needmorecaffine]

This will kick off no doubt but hey. Slightly tongue in cheek.

Coffee shops on a Sunday morning should be a haven for adults who seek to get away in piece and quiet from every day life for an hour. That means getting away from your own children , DH etc

So been here 5 mins , had to queue behind a mother with her toddler using the display of pastries like choosing sweets in a sweet shop ! Just pick up a croissant get your latte soya single shot and move along !

Then we have the child , mother and grandmother. The GM doing the exaggerated parenting in this case with the GC much to the horror of her own DD. Thankfully they've gone.

Piece and quiet now reins ....

One of the problems is the mismatch between what people with small children think is reasonable behaviour and what everyone else thinks.

When mine were small I was much much more tolerant of (other people's children's) silly loud talking, wandering about pointing at things, occasional loud whine about menu choices etc.. They're children! I thought, they're not harming anyone! And that rendition of Twinkle Twinkle is rather sweet.

But now mine are older I can see that preschoolers are actually really irritating.

Also - there's going to be a dog backlash soon.

Nothing like taking a three year old mid week and sitting right next to them with cbeebies on my phone to ruin their mood

And that's precisely WHY people want childfree spaces.

Why would you bother to take your child out just to stick them in front of your phone? You can do that at home for free!

'if I'm on my own with both at the weekends as DH works then we head to costa for a couple of hours, lunch, cake, hot chocolate, then the very quietly have iPads/phone while I have a coffee in peace.'

A couple of hours

Bet no one else gets much peace

I like kids but couldn't eat a whole one!

Give it a few weeks and the weather will be nicer and more parents will go back to the park with a flask rather than visiting the coffee shop, especially if we are still worrying about the novel coronavirus.

Yanbu. I couldn't afford coffee shops when my dc were tiny anyway and I coped.
Ideally I want somewhere with no kids and no dogs. Just some gentle background music, a paper and the hiss of the espresso machine. Away with your babychinos, your sticky mashed banana fingers, snotty noses and your loud annoying parents. Sheesh.

And I LIKE children. I do. Just not in coffee shops.

@IfNot Your post gives me visions of those private members clubs that (on TV at least, I've not been in one in real life) that feature well to do older men with their broadsheet papers in chesterfield sofas and arm chairs.

then the very quietly have iPads/phone while I have a coffee in peace.

I daresay those with young children have a different definition of what quietly means. I think parents become immune to the background noise of toddlers, toys and electrics.

Two of my children dislike noisy children. They’d love the cafe equivalent of the quiet coach on a train, where they could enjoy a hot chocolate, bacon sandwich, and a bit of sounds-off Pokemon acquisition without noise.

The other child, however, is an obsessive hummer. We’ve tried to train him out of it, but alas!

Yes OddBoots a Sherlock style gentlemans ladies club would be ideal.

I too would love a Sherlock style ladies club where I could have a drink, nice bit of cake and read the newspaper or book in peace.

I have teens and now I quite like being on my own in cafe with small children nearby. They remind me how fecking relentless small parenting is and I feel quite relaxed that I don't have to do anything about it, because they're not mine! I do tend to tell the mum how well she is doing though at some point.

The coffee shops I go to advertise themselves as family friendly - they have a children's menu, play area, baskets of toys etc

So it baffles me when people come in, sit next to us + our toddler, and give us filthy looks for existing (toddler is actually very well behaved, but she's two so there are limits). The worst are the ones that sit next to you in an otherwise empty space.

Just go to a pub or bar or a more adult oriented space if you don't like it. You're being really mean as you obviously went through the little kid stage once.

As well, we buy x3 adult meals, x4 adult drinks and a baby drink when we go and vacate the table pretty quickly when done.

In comparison, many adults take a x4 seater table for one and sit for hours nursing a coffee to use the free WiFi.

So families tend to be a better value option (when behaved). As long as there's space for a buggy!

Just go to a pub or bar or a more adult oriented space if you don't like it. You're being really mean as you obviously went through the little kid stage once.

But bars aren’t always child free and I want a quiet coffee, not a noisy bar. When cafes have tried to have a lower age limit, there are often bullied by parents saying they’re being really mean. Many of use have or have had young children and just want a bloody break from kids at times. Posters aren’t saying children should never be allowed in all cafes, they’re just saying that they would love a child free cafe. But they’re being jumped on for suggesting such a thing.

I kind of get where you’re coming from OP, but for us Sunday’s are family days so we often stop for a coffee and hot chocolate for the DC. You wouldn’t however know they are there though.

Dogs on the other hand, I’m not keen on being where we are drinking/eating.

We went to a restaurant and got seated next to a family with a dog sitting beside the table who wouldn’t take its eyes off us eating and kept wining to be fed.

There are no pubs near me that would be free of kids on a Sunday morning.

You're being really mean as you obviously went through the little kid stage once.

Sure but when we were taken out as 'little kids' it was a.) extremely rare b.) a massive treat and c) the expectation that we were quiet and well behaved was made extremely clear. Any transgression would result in a swift exit and that treat never happening again until we had demonstrated we were able to behave properly in public.

The problem is for some parents public places are treated as an extension of home where children are allowed free rein to behave in any way they choose even when that detrimentally impacts others.

It's one of the first ways children are taught how to manage their frustrations and be considerate to others. Failing to do so is setting them up for failure in adult life.
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