Out of control house - where do I start?

[Ninjakittysmellz]

I am embarrassed and overwhelmed so please don’t shout at me - I want to make it better.

I’m a single parent, and I’m overwhelmed at the moment working 2 jobs and just about keeping on top of life. We eat out to avoid using the kitchen as I can’t face cleaning it. I’ve bought ds new socks and pants because my laundry is out of control. It’s not fair on either of us and I have to tackle it....

Where do I start? Upstairs? The kitchen? Do I do Laundry first? I can’t dry it because if I put it on radiators the pet hair hasn’t been hoovered.

I am embarrassed, but I don’t know where to start to make this better. There are 3 beds and a bathroom upstairs, clothes on landing in piles of both clean and dirty. We only use my bedroom really but the spare room has clothes piled up on the bed and floor. Ds room is immaculate but hasn’t been hoovered or dusted.

Downstairs there is a playroom (not too bad) living room, kitchen / diner (a hell hole) and utility with clean / dirty laundry in and all the cat food and litter in.

Please tell me where to begin - once I’ve blitzed it I’m getting a cleaner because I never want to be in this position again. It’s really not fair on ds and I dread coming home :(

Don't be embarrassed, you're doing a lot on your own, and housework piles up very fast. I would do it in spurts. Set a time for half an hour, get a black bag and run round a room and get rid of junk/rubbish. Quickly dust and hoover. Have a cup of tea, do somewhere else. If you have someone you trust-mum/friend/sibling, I would definitely enlist them to help

Rubbish-grab a bag and walk round the house.
Dishes - empty washing bowl /laundry basket and fill it..
Laundry-empty basket and fill it.

I would start with hoovering so you can get a laundry on. Get a load on, Hoover, and then get it hung up.

Then tackle the kitchen.

Put all dirty laundry in one place...go round and gather up everything that needs washing.

Go round with a binbag...room to room and put all actual rubbish in it.

Go from room to room gathering up any crockery, cups etc and put them in the kitchen.

Then do the washing up.

Team TOMM is a really good way of getting on top. But im a fan of the 5 minute rule if it takes less than five minutes then just do it dont put it off. Or whilst the kettle is boiling wipe a side down. I also know of folks cleaning the bathroom whilst their children are bathing.

I would get black bags and divide all clothes into clean and dirty. Line up bags of dirty by washing machine. Put first load on. Clear spare bedroom of everything (I'm assuming it is mostly clothes) and it becomes clothes sorting room for now. Hoover it before you start. Cat is no longer allowed in this room. Bags of clean stuff go in. Then pile all your clean stuff in one huge pile and all DS's clean stuff in another. Do not worry about what fits etc for the moment. Then have a cup of tea and come back and I'll give you your next job 🤣

Is there anyone who would be able to help at all? I know if one of my friends asked me I would do my best. I might not be able to physically go and help with the cleaning but if she dropped over 4 loads of washing I could wash and tumble dry them and fold them to give back which would mean she could crack with hoovering, cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom. If not I'd firstly pick up all the laundry and put it by the washing machine. Then I'd collect all the washing up and put it by the sink plus pick up all the obvious rubbish and empty the bins. Any clean clothes just put on the bed of the appropriate person. Then one wash on while you hoover where it needs to be dried. Hang out. Then another wash on while you do a load of washing up. Then clean the bathroom and kitchen

Oh you guys, I actually burst into tears reading this. It’s shit feeling like this! Thank you so much for just listening and helping me make sense of this

My plan taken from your posts is:

Set timer for half an hour and see how far I get down list in that time - do half an hour work with 15 mins procrastinating breaks in between....

1. collect all rubbish from surfaces and bins in all rooms

2. collect all dirty laundry from round the house and put it in utility room on floor

3. collect all plates etc from round house and put them in kitchen

4. sort laundry into loads.

5. put load 1 on, put dishwasher on. Clean cat litter.

6. dust all surfaces and then hoover while washing is in machine

7. hang up laundry in now relatively ish pethair free zone

8. start moving stuff that’s just hanging around in to right rooms......

It looks easier written down!

Hoover first, get child to move things for you. Then big bin bag and ditch anything that can go, do room by room. Set time schedule. It's amazing how much you can get done in short time. Once space clear give child wipes/roll and blitz any surface they can. Again set time limits/make it a bit of a challenge. Do kitchen last and together. Use bleach. wear old clothes. Take yourselves out for movie/dinner treat afterwards! Good luck.

1. Try to get everything gathered and in the right areas first.
2. Washing up/dishwasher until all crockery and cutlery is clean. Wipe table and kitchen surfaces.
3. Empty rubbish and recycling.
4. Laundry. Sort by coloureds/whites/towels/bedding and prioritise which you need first. Make sure you have enough space to dry first before tackling more!
5. Clean the bathroom.
6. Vacuum. Downstairs first.
7. Mop kitchen floor/ hard floors.

If you live near me I'll come and help. I love a good blitz (plus I can avoid doing my own house )

Good idea from one poster about spare room being laundry sorting room for moment...that will really help you feel more in control of things. You'll get it sorted OP, just make a start and things will snowball good luck

Put a load of laundry in the wm , ready to turn on when you have cleaned space for where it is going to dry . Can you not just do basics and hang over ds radiator or on hangers to dry in front of an open window.

Bin bag to scoop up rubbish as you walk around.

Clean cooker, sink and enough space in kitchen to prepare food.

Bathroom , wipe over while ds is in bath?

How old is ds, could he help?

It's truly amazing what you can get dobe in half an hour. Team TOMM is great, I've just started and need to declutter so not fully into it but can see a difference already.

Easy meals with not much less- pizza with corn on the cob . Pasta, stir in sauce, smoked sausage. Veg sticks. Jacket spuds, beans cheese tuna etc.

The money you save on doing meals at home, pay for a cleaner. I have 2.5 hours a week, she dusts and Hoover's everywhere, cleans bathroom and kitchen. Occasionally will do windows etc. She also straighten beds and leaves pjs folded on pillows and will hang washing out etc. Worth every penny.

I'm single mum to a 3 and 4 yr old and work, and have animals so totally get your pain.

Hi OP, most of us have been there! Nothing to be ashamed of.

I find the Fly Lady crisis clean very useful. www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/crisis-cleaning/

Good luck!

Get rid of stuff, play stuff, clothes stuff, kitchen stuff. The less stuff you have the less mess can be made. Made a huge difference for me.

Yes. Its lots and lots of small jobs. And you can't get it all done today. Well done for starting!

Maybe you could take a before and after photo of one room or area? Not to publish here but just to remind yourself what you have achieved - good luck x

Sending you sympathy. We have a cleaner, thank god. But we also have so much stuff that the house never looks really tidy, and we have loads more in the shed. I’m always trying to declutter, and always feel the endless task hanging over me.

Best tidying tip I know: if you always put things away instead of putting them down, you will never have to tidy up again. Also, you won’t need to waste time searching for things you’ve lost.

Best of luck, OP.

I found that we just had too much stuff. And too much storage, which we filled with crap.

So I donated a lot of storage boxes and then we had to choose what we wanted to keep according to what would fit.

Also, the same with clothes. Once I looked at what the kids had, and then worked out that they needed 10 days worth of outfits, it was easier to let go of the scruffy day clothes and wear the nicer stuff.
I also watched the Marie Kondo programme. It made me feel much better.

I batch cook food. Pasta sauces etc. That keeps it simple. Good luck

I found that we just had too much stuff. And too much storage, which we filled with crap.

So I donated a lot of storage boxes and then we had to choose what we wanted to keep according to what would fit.

Also, the same with clothes. Once I looked at what the kids had, and then worked out that they needed 10 days worth of outfits, it was easier to let go of the scruffy day clothes and wear the nicer stuff.
I also watched the Marie Kondo programme. It made me feel much better.

I batch cook food. Pasta sauces etc. That keeps it simple. Good luck

Ironing lady is your friend here I got snowed under last year sent 30 items off to be ironed for just over a fiver (she was really really cheap) made a huge dent and difference I find its lot the washing thats the issue or the drying as I've a tumble dryer but the ironing takes effort

Are you on local community forums, eg Nextdoor or LETS? Could you get someone to help you with a blitz, in return for something you could do for them, or for a small payment? Or would a good friend or relative help out?

Once you can use the kitchen, you’ll be saving money on eating out. Definitely worth paying a cleaner, and that also motivates you to tidy and declutter before cleaner comes. So you’re clearing stuff every week or fortnight, and the task gets easier every time.

If you are going to get a cleaner then I would get one now, rather than waiting till you feel the house is "ready". The cleaner doesn't need to have a pristine, tidy house to work in, and they don't have to do the whole house in one visit.

They can always work round things. Or they can start with the radiator areas (so you can get laundry on) and do your son's room which sounds tidy anyway. And bathrooms usually don't need much tidying, more just cleaning, so they can do that. While they are doing that then you can do a very basic tidy of some of the other rooms and then they can do those.

Do you have a laundrette anywhere near you that could do a service wash and dry for the dirty clothes?

Depending on your budget then I would outsource as much as possible, because you are already overstretched with all you are doing at the moment.

How old is your son? Can he hoover or dust his room, if you show him how? My kids actually enjoyed doing this occasionally (till they became teenagers!)

You sound as if you feel ashamed of your house - and maybe as if you don't want the cleaner to see it in its current state - but it really doesn't sound bad to me. The cleaner will almost certainly have seen much, much worse. There are people out there who let their dogs poop on the floor and all sorts. And let's face it, the reason people get a cleaner in is because their house is dirty! There would be no point otherwise (and no job satisfaction for the cleaner!).

Choose on thing. Maybe a chair or small table, and focus on making that clean and tidy. You have to start small. A whole room is too much. Once you have sorted that chair or table, make sure every day you keep that tidy and clean and add in something else. Maybe a sink? Or a toilet?