Out of control house - where do I start?

[Ninjakittysmellz]

I am embarrassed and overwhelmed so please don’t shout at me - I want to make it better.

I’m a single parent, and I’m overwhelmed at the moment working 2 jobs and just about keeping on top of life. We eat out to avoid using the kitchen as I can’t face cleaning it. I’ve bought ds new socks and pants because my laundry is out of control. It’s not fair on either of us and I have to tackle it....

Where do I start? Upstairs? The kitchen? Do I do Laundry first? I can’t dry it because if I put it on radiators the pet hair hasn’t been hoovered.

I am embarrassed, but I don’t know where to start to make this better. There are 3 beds and a bathroom upstairs, clothes on landing in piles of both clean and dirty. We only use my bedroom really but the spare room has clothes piled up on the bed and floor. Ds room is immaculate but hasn’t been hoovered or dusted.

Downstairs there is a playroom (not too bad) living room, kitchen / diner (a hell hole) and utility with clean / dirty laundry in and all the cat food and litter in.

Please tell me where to begin - once I’ve blitzed it I’m getting a cleaner because I never want to be in this position again. It’s really not fair on ds and I dread coming home :(

Just dropping in to say well done x

I would do a declutter first - get the things you don't use or need out of the house! Fill up a bag to take to charity and put broken/ useless things in the bin.

As nice as cleaning/hoovering/tidying can make the house feel, it doesn't last long like that! Hence, the only way to make a proper difference is to get things out of the house.

Perhaps start by finding 10 objects to get rid of today?

Sorry for the delay in replying - my mum popped round. I’ve hung laundry on drying rack in kitchen and put another load in, but that’s as far as I had got. Going to nip to the shops now for food to restock the fridge so we don’t eat out tonight...... and then poss tackle laundry before I sit down. I’ve given myself deadline of 6pm to crack on with house, and then I will start again tomorrow, I feel like I’ve broken the back of it today though thank god. Thank you all so much for cheering me on! I will probably check back in tomorrow if that’s okay as it really helped keep me motivated and I still have a long way to go, I’m hoping that with 2 days blitzing though I will be able to keep on top of it going forward..... and actually cook in my own kitchen for once!

Sounds like you making amazing progress! Good effort!

One small tip I have learned recently is to take your dry washing and fold it where you are going to put it away. Sounds pointless but avoids folding a pile of washing and then leaving it somewhere waiting to be put away.

I have ADHD and need to reduce steps in all tasks as each step creates the opportunity for distraction or procrastination. This small tip has been a game changer for me in managing the washing.

So impressed! Well done.

I was just about to recommend a robot hoover. I don't have a choice but to keep the floors clear as if I don't, the hoover gets stuck and as I have a large dog who sheds enough hair to fill a swimming pool I really need the hoover to go around daily.

Stick your ds in the bath tonight and clean the bathroom around him, radio on and you can both sing along

Remember @Ninjakittysmellz that the house didn't get like this in a day so you won't remedy it in a day either (if that helps keep things in perspective).

Things that help us....

• Household chores app: we use ToDoIst and I put all our chores in on a 2-week rotation. House is now reasonably clean and most jobs are done on a semi-regular basis now (including bed changing).
• Put antibac wipes etc in every bathroom so you can wipe and go when you're in there. I do the main bathroom while our youngest is in the bath.
• Watch a 45min TV show while ironing. It makes the time go quicker and you know there's an end in sight! I do ironing little and often.
• If you don't like it, it doesn't fit or it's no longer fit for purpose, get rid. We have a permanent bag for the charity shop which I drop off every few weeks. Marie Kondo is great for this. The less you have, the more likely you have a home for everything and therefore the quicker/easier it is to tidy away. The kids also sort their toys for the charity shop, we tend to do it before Christmas and birthdays.

Just wanted to say I've been there (worse) and if you can get it cleared, the fortnightly cleaner is a fab way forward. They keep my messiness in check as I know the house has to be tidy for them to clean!

And well done for getting started OP. A little every day this week, set a timer, and you'll be done in no time.

You are all bloody lovely - thank you so much!

I’ve just looked up those robot hoovers and they are spendy that’s said, a few weeks of cooking from home and I’d bet I’d of saved that much up!

I’ve just asked Ds to help me put some laundry away..... he has stomped upstairs asking why I’m trying to ruin his life

I agree with previous posters, the hardest part is actually starting. We have 3 cats so there is fur everywhere, I no longer allow them upstairs which helps but the layout of our house allows for that. Otherwise I would recommend a cordless vacuum, it is amazing how much quicker it is to scoot around the house with it meaning that I do it more often.

Oh well done OP! You've done loads.

My top tip is an airer for each person in the room where they put stuff away. It has been life-changing for me and for the first time in about 15yrs, I've been completely on top of the washing and have been since I started doing this 6 months ago. It stops you overloading the airer so the clothes dry quicker. And don't overload the washing machine either as it makes the clothes feel funny. It all feels so much fresher in smaller loads and much more manageable. Put a load on every day if you can or need to.

A dehumidifier helps dry laundry much more quickly and stops the impact of drying indoors, which is similar to throwing buckets of water at the walls. So a fresher home.

I have loved this thread - you’ve made my day with your energetic turnaround. Very inspiring.

virtual motivation! Well done, OP!

I haven't spotted how old your son is but as he is old enough to throw a diva-strop he's old enough to contribute. Make sure he does.

It’s not his fault it got a bit chaotic, but once you get it all nice, ask him if he likes it better like that. Then get some house rule for you both to keep it how you both like it. I love some of these ideas, especially the bathroom singing and cleaning while he’s in the bath! I do my shower when I’m in it half way through washing myself!

Well done OP, you have achieved so much already. My house was Chaos at one point. The Flylady system saved me, I highly recommend it.

I’d hazard a guess that if laundry realis piled that high you probably have too many clothes. Black bin liners and charity shops are your friend.
Reduce the amount of stuff to make it more manageable.
Find a laundrette and drop off service washes so you get everything cleaned and dried.
The child should be helping regularly.
Have a set ‘jobs’ time and don’t procrastinate too much. Dishes done after supper and put away etc Children should help.

If DS wants to strop then turn the router off he will have something to strop about then. Seriously he can do his bit or suffer the consequences.

Many house work issues are cyclical. E.g., you can't clean something because of x but you can't do x because of y and you can't do y because of z. And so on. What is the origin - i.e., when you go back to z what is the first problem? That needs solving. E.g., it might be the cats lack of a cat flap causing the laundry room to be used for cat stuff - for example. So a cat flap needs sorting. Or it might be a tumble dryer needs buying. Find the origin!! I would also say do the one room a day system. That's how I cope.

For me , our robot hoover (neato) worked out much cheaper than a cleaner and has really helped me to keep on top of the house work. Because the house gets hoovered do often it helps to reduce the overall dust in the house which is handy.

My biggest problem is keeping on top of the washing. I hate putting it away. So since Christmas I have started washing a basket every day and putting a basket away every day which has stopped it piling up. Also every time I get a charity clothes bag through the door I always have a sort through and donate something, even if it's just a little bit, it all helps.

My house was an overcrowded tip for years, it seemed like a never ending battle to keep on top of it. I finally realised the issue was so much stuff, everywhere! Clothes, toys, books, paperwork etc. I started a massive declutter over Xmas, it isn’t finished yet but it’s so much easier to keep the house tidy and clean when everything has a place to go. I’m still working on the laundry and I now iron with a charity bag next to me and I’m being ruthless. It won’t all be done overnight but I’m hopefully that I’ll be finally finished decluttering by Easter

Well done on your progress today!! Keep at it

single mum here too

I find it easier to do it room by room, e.g while i throwsomething on to eat - do last nights dishes (i shit you not...)! or put a wash on, or hang the clothes out

Have handy food you can just throw on to cook, frozen veg is a lifesaver!

Bin bags are your new friends, bin everything you do not need. Literally walk from room to room and bin stuff.

Once everything is clear - hoover/dust/polish

if i was your friend, i would come help you. I genuinly love blitzing!!