Things my MIL sees as a sign of 'good character'

[RickSanchez]

Knowing how to get somewhere. I'm not just talking roughly how to get from A to B, but needing to know ALL the roads between and all the local areas, service station stops, landmarks, and knowledge. Not for her the use of the Sat Nav. She could read a map all day. People who don't innately 'know' the 'correct' journey to follow are Flibberty Gibbetts of the highest order. As are people who travel somewhere and don't constantly watch the roads and signs to help them understand exactly where they are at any given time.

Not sitting down during the day. There is ALWAYS something to do and you better believe that if you're NOT doing it then you bloody should be! The only exception to this is if you have 'a programme' in the evening. In which case you are permitted to briefly alight on a chair and watch it but only if it's a programme you have expressed prior interest in. Channel surfing in the hope of finding something to watch is definitely Not On.

Not using things that are designed for comfort or convenience. You may own a dishwasher for example, but you should never have occasion to use it. Surely that is evidence that you are slacking off and not Keeping Busy (see point 2). Equally, you may own a tumble drier that you have had since the 50s but why would you need to use it when you can hang your washing out in minus four temperatures and bring it in to air in the afternoon? Anything else would be Very Slack Indeed "there's only Margaret over the back who pegs out, everyone else simply can't be bothered!"

*disclaimer- this is lighthearted. My MIL is a good sort at heart but we are very, very different. I, sadly am not of 'good character'

My ILs would never consider having a drink with a meal even water because “it fills you up”

Then I told them that dh slags me about the fact I turn the map in the direction I'm heading, rather than keeping it north up

But wasn't there a study done yonks ago about map reading and how most females turned it round in the direction you're going and most men turn it around in their heads?

It makes more sense to turn it around in the direction you're going.

@Andromeda wouldn't that be a good thing?

We all eat too much (unless you have an eating disorder)

I neither eat too much or have an eating disorder, thank you .
I recently opened up to MIL that DH and I were struggling a bit (3 young children, no sleep, he works very long hours and is away a lot, things had got on top of us a bit) and response was that if only I was quicker and more efficient at ironing our lives would be much better. Didn’t tell her I haven’t ironed in around 8 years!

There's definitely a strength of character in this generation that doesn't seem to exist in mine. It's been my day off today and once I dropped my DC off at school I came back and got in bed to watch the Tudors. My MIL must never know.

@Elbeagle ever since FIL rang up to talk to DH and I said he'd just be a moment, he was ironing, we've agreed to not discuss the fact that washing and ironing is a 'Blue Job' in our house

My PIL are the same. Insanely frugal, apart from going on holidays and buying antiques. They’d think nothing of dropping thousands on the above, yet will never ever put the heating on as it costs money.

Ha! My MIL was a bit like this. She was from very working class stock and lived in a very working class area but had firm views on what constituted decency. I was a Nice Girl from a Nice Family. His exW was a Tart in the manner of Lilo Lil. She died when we had just got married and I've noticed that my SIL is turning into her, which is quite a joyous thing to watch. She's a bit like Hyacinth Bouquet - in reality she's definitely a Daisy but she has aspirations. I think she's ace.

I am only a couple of years years younger than your MIL and my tumble dryer is on all the time.... clothes come out beautifully soft and, if folded while still warm, do not need ironing. I never iron.
I love my sat-nav. DH loves the dishwasher.
I am retired, have Netflix and Amazon Prime.
I have never been a flibbertigibbet, (sniff) went back to work when DC was seven months old and held down a successful, professional job until my well-earned retirement.
Which I am enjoying immensely, mostly on my spreading arse. 😆

You are describing my mum.

She has always had washing machines but has never trusted them with the vast majority of clothes. Hence hand washed jeans among other peculiarities. And every single thing that gets washed gets ironed. She gave her never used dryer to her sister about 30 years ago.

I'm 70, so I grew up with all those "rules" around me. But mostly it was about looking after a house with not much in the way of gadgets, so a clean house, all the laundry done, cooking from scratch, shopping frequently for perishable foods, all meant not having much time to sit down.

It's quite hard to break those "rules" that were held up as a good example. But I'm doing pretty well.

Except for the not watching TV before 6 p.m. If there are documentaries (hence, worthy) that I've recorded, I really just can't bring myself to watch them in the daytime.

OP I don’t understand how water fills you up. I can eat a 3 course meal with a couple of drinks as well . I do believe our parents generation had many more rules they live by even if they are baseless and sometimes does them a disservice.

My DH will shut the curtains at the first sign of dusk, and switch lights on. He fears people seeing in! I prefer to keep the curtains open as long as possible and only close them when its pitch black outside. We're both 32.
MIL refuses to own a tumble drier, she line dries everything. She once told me it was a good laundry day because it was windy, I pointed out that every day is laundry day in my house, regardless of the weather! I'll only hang it out if I know itll get dry. I refuse to hang stuff twice or leave it to get darked on.
MIL never sits down either. Drives me mad when she comes to visit. My parents keep their house at arctic temperatures. Hated it as a kid. I always feel the cold. Apparently being cold is "character building".

I like her.

But wasn't there a study done yonks ago about map reading and how most females turned it round in the direction you're going and most men turn it around in their heads?

There quite likely was but three of the 5 shocked in-laws who believed I was abusing maps were (and still are) female.

leave it (outdoor washing) to be darked on 😂😂

My parents are 68 and 72 but don’t quite fit in......

Their version of someone of good character:-

Owns lots of bookcases
Owns too many books to fit in the bookcases
Has read every book in the bookcases
Has read a large number of the books in the bookcases a number of times
Goes for lots of walks

Going to their house is lovely. We all read our books, then we go for a walk, then we read our books a bit more. Occasionally someone says “ooh - you’d like this book Fred” and Fred looks very excited. Conversation round the dinner table varies from non-existent (everyone is too busy reading) to fascinating.

Dh comes from a family which is just like most of the others mentions. He finds my parents’ house Very Confusing Indeed.

Haha these are great.
My mother, not even mother in law disapproves of -
Sitting down when you could be doing “jobs”
Kitchen cupboards which aren’t cleaned inside on a weekly basis.
Bins which aren’t bought in less than 5 minutes after they’re emptied.
Any rubbish floating up my road which I haven’t picked up. Why is it my responsibility to chase after the neighbours recycling every week?
Use of tumble drier and heating.
In fact she’ll regularly call out “the heating is on. Did you know your heating is on?” Yes mother, I have scheduled it to come on three times a day as I still have nightmares about growing up in the igloo you provided!

I am stunned by the generational assumptions here. OP, your MIL sounds like my mother. I am 68 & my mother is long gone.

I've had & used a dryer & dishwasher for years. I can use a road atlas but prefer satnav. I will happily spend an entire evening LOUNGING & occasionally flicking through channels.

How the hell did she get like that? Did she have her children very very young & let her personality atrophy the moment they left home?

You know what though, she seems happier than me. She always knows what she's doing and seems perfectly happy doing it.

MIL thinks that if there is a napkin by you when eating people ought to know they must put it on their lap, no matter what they're eating

And always leave the knife and fork at half past six when you are finished (not crossed over)

Let’s have yet another lighthearted thread about the funny little ways of older females. Nothing ageist or sexist here, just amusing little stories.

What, like the many threads about the funny ways of husbands, toddlers, teenagers etc? Many of the comments here refer to male and female parents or parents-in-law. The thread is largely affectionate and sometimes actually admiring.

My MIL is so fond of decluttering she has been known to throw out that day's newspaper when you are only halfway through reading it and have momentarily put it down while you make a cup of tea.

RickSanchez
You know what though, she seems happier than me. She always knows what she's doing and seems perfectly happy doing it.

Well, yes, mine did too, to be fair. She was very well organised. The house was always clean & tidy but she still blitzed it when company was coming. Mine is never clean & tidy & the pre-company blitz is like Attila the Hun sweeping through Europe.

Haha! My grandma was shocked that I don't iron my husband's shirts - "But I iron all of grandad's shirts, your husband shouldn't have to iron his own shirts!". Well, she's been retired for 25 years and Grandad's still working.....maybe that's why?