Help- cleaner drank my gin!

[kayde12]

Hi all,
I’m new to mumsnet, but would really love some advice!

I’ve just signed up to a cleaning company and had my first clean, which I was thrilled about.
Then I noticed that half of my bottle of pink drink has gone!
I only got the bottle given to me as a gift last week from my sister in law.
My Dh doesn’t drink and I have my two ds in the house.
It was the cleaner definitely!
The company have been awful at getting back to me and sent me a poor email saying she said she didn’t drink it and was too early in the morning.

I feel really gutted and not sure how to move forward or get some sort of justice!!

“Lessons learnt.”

What are you talking about?! 🧐What lessons have you learnt??

Oops! Name change fail

Joking aside - and I’ve laughed at this thread - there is a really serious point to be made here.

OP, you CANNOT go around accusing others of stealing unless you have categoric proof. It’s an awful thing to be accused of, it’s virtually impossible to prove you are innocent most of the time and it can have really serious consequences for somebody’s employment.

You suspected her, you did not know and she is not the only potential suspect. If you suspected her you could have taken steps to see what was happening going forward, or you could have cancelled the agency saying you no longer needed them. Mud sticks, and you may well have sullied the reputation of someone who is innocent. That’s an appalling thing to do.

“Live and learn?” I really hope you do going forward.

So odd. Much more likely it's the teen. Cleaners get so much flack on MN.

Lol at having a 13 year old boy in the house and assuming it’s the cleaner that knocked back half a bottle of warm, tonic-less gin during a two hour clean. YUM! Or did she also nick tonic, ice, lemon slices and a nice gin goblet?

I take your point that you would notice if your son had guzzled half a bottle of gin but would you also notice if he poured it into an empty water bottle and hid it/smuggled it out to be shared with friends?

Seriously it's your 13 year old

I was doing this from younger than that. Parents did have a clue

Totally agree with HopeItComesWithBatteries. I really hope the agency believe her as there is really no proof she did it.

I really don’t see why a cleaner, first job in a new house, would risk her job for half a bottle of gin

agreed

the trust was broken when you accused your cleaner of theft with absolutely no proof.

and now she's lost her job.. how awful ... and will she be able to get another job after this accusation ?

I have been a cleaner and would never ever risk stealing anything and this was one of my massive worries that I would be accused :(

I am definitely not the type of parent to swear that their child wouldn’t do certain things, but I am certain it wasn’t my 13 year old.
Um ... can you really not see the inconsistency & double-think in this sentence OP? Not even if you try very hard?

She won’t be coming back.
Not if she's got any sense.
What might the madwoman at number 33 accuse her of next?

Yes it cannot be proven but just feels crappy for me that this has happened.
You might consider that it's crappier for your ex-cleaner.
But you probably won't because you prefer the easy option of accusations without proof, & never mind what that does to the woman's reputation.

It’s not really about the gin, rather the principal. [sic]
What principle is that?
It's certainly not the British principle of "innocent til proven guilty" is it OP?
Is it the principle of "oh, my gin's gone missing, I'm going to believe my son but accuse my cleaner, despite having ZERO evidence of the guilt or innocence of either party, because there are no consequences for me & I don't give a fuck about the consequences to my cleaner because she has no power over me"?

Trust is broken now.
Yes, you have irrevocably broken the cleaner's trust if she is innocent, as she likely is.
I doubt your new cleaning company trust you much either.

You live and you learn.
Many of us do. Others, it would seem, merely live.

Every cleaner I know would never do this!

Have you thought that she may have mistaken the pink gin for detergent? If she's from a culture that never drinks alcohol, it would be an easy mistake. If so, you will have sparkling floors!

13yo. I'd put money on it.

Why would a cleaner risk her job for half a bottle of gin? Seriously think about it. The consequences far outweigh the benefit.

The same cannot be said for your teenager. I too would suspect him more.

You shouldn't have accused the cleaner. It could have been her but it also could be your 13-year-old or one of their friends. I remember being accused of theft as a teenager when I had a job. It was awful. They had no proof and couldn't therefore sack me but definitely watched me so I had to leave. I am no thief and certainly didn't do it. I will never forget that. In fact 40 years later and still quite angry about it.

@HopeItComesWithBatteries

If I have suspected that it was the cleaner, therefore trust has been broken. How can one move forward and continue with the same cleaner?

Would you agree that trust is imperative?

I stole my parents drink from age 11 ! Shocked by it now. I did fill it up with water though
My mum must have wondered why all the vodka wasn’t getting her drunk!

I stole my parents drink from age 11 ! Shocked by it now. I did fill it up with water though

Yes, I'm pretty sure the cleaner would have done this if she had stolen the gin. Only a 13 year old wouldn't think of it. I remember my friend would only ever buy Pernod so that her alcoholic father couldn't do this (it goes cloudy if you add water)

My DD @16 did this! Drained all the dusty weird and wonderful bottles of liquor in my cupboard...the stuff I rarely check! Left a token inch in the bottom of each one. She actually developed a serious crutch drinking problem which needed professional support to straighten out over a year! Parents beware of unlocked liquor!

I have had two cleaners. One was cleaning while I was here on one occasion. I was in the living room. I had a fiver left on the kitchen counter before she came. It was gone when she left. Only me and her in the house.

Op, you're deliberately avoiding the question if your husband is an alcoholic. You don't need to say obviously and you can even lie, but if he is, then I think I'd be looking at him first.

But yes you should not have accused the cleaner. You broke the trust by doing so. Because you have no clue if it was her and there is clearly other people it could have been, and more likely was.

This woman's job relies on her honesty. You risked it by calling that into question, and you did so with no foundation for your accusations.

@kayde12 I have employed a number of cleaners over many years and yes, trust is very important. However, so is doing the right thing and behaving fairly to other people.

As I said you had the option to discontinue with the agency if you weren’t happy or unsure as to what was going on, but you took it a step further. Making unsubstantiated accusations is a really dangerous thing to do in life that can have very serious consequences for yourself or others. Please think about that going forward.

Op, you're deliberately avoiding the question if your husband is an alcoholic.

@Bluntness100 She states in her OP My Dh doesn’t drink
That answer that question for you? Perhaps read her posts.

Have you thought that she may have mistaken the pink gin for detergent?

I was thinking this. Maybe if the cleaner has poor English.

But drinking it, surely she'd soon be found out due to being obviously rat-arsed.