Dear dear

[anothernamejeeves]

Just saw a Facebook post where someone had been discussing how their 'self of steam' has taken a battering over the past few months
How do you tell them?????
What are your fave misused sayings

'Nobody's perfect. We all have our floors'

I hope they were using verbal dictation and it misunderstood their accent.

That’s hilarious!

Autocorrect not me personally posted about a nonce pie at Xmas....

That had me howling - and I couldn't look at a nonce mince pie for days without giggling

A YouTube video comment at Christmas referring to 'ballballs'. I thought it was a myth that people miscalled them that

Oh, recently, my own sister, in a comment on someone else's post on farcebook, saying how good she'd been about something and calling herself 'an angle 😇'. I couldn't resist asking '45 or 90°? (Wouldn't do that to a stranger, though.)

My classmates fell about when I said dessyfer once, as I only knew the word decipher from books. On the plus side, I've never forgotten how it should be pronounced!

A well known hospital error would be instead of having a below knee plaster, but a baloney plaster

You’ll be mist.

A well known hospital error would be instead of having a below knee plaster, but a baloney plaster

Or even a Bologni plaster as one of our med secs once typed. How exotic!

I have only recently learned that there is no such thing as virtual signalling. It is in fact virtue signalling.
And I'm a journalist and do the occasional bit of proof reading for a living.

Someone on here said ‘you just want them at your beacon call’ I also someine on Facebook comment ‘nursery done, Chester drawers and war droab took ages’

On the subject of reading voraciously, but never hearing the words.

"Segue"

I still struggle with viscera/visceral - both sound much better with a hard c probably because I'd spent thirty years mispronouncing them

I have a FB friend who says fort instead of thought. Drives me nuts

Being the parent of a child with autism and learning disabilities I see a lot of talk on various Facebook groups of people getting Restbite ,applying for careers allowance and sometimes people wondering wether they or their child might have "assburgers ".

@highlandcoo "picture-squeh", surely?

I am a standing joke in my family for knowing every obscure spelling but constantly mispronouncing things 🙈 I have many books and no TV, even as an adult 😂

Friend was using "Quarter zone cream" 🤦‍♀️

So many free reigns ...

@anothernamejeeves and @daisychain01 these are malapropisms. Albeit unintentional.

It's Specific!! Not pacific!!! 🤣

A thread today talked about a "perineal problem"(!)

Some of them are typos that autocorrect misses. Good examples are shit for shift or shut or pubic for public,.
Some are caused by predictive typing.

I think that reading online is different to reading print. Some of the things I read amaze me - do people not think about what phrases mean?
Things like Chester draws, doggy dog world, setting a president.

How come that in a country that provides free education for all do so many people think that of is a verb?

Just seen on FB about the Australian fires 'don't worry, winter is here now'

In a shop yesterday I overhead the sales assistant recommending a petrol watch.

Not sure if the customer bought a perpetual watch or left empty handed.

"Pre-madonna girl"