Telling a child who isn't yours to put a coat on

[blardyfeck]

Ok so I've a history of anxiety & I dwell on things a lot.
I was picking up ds7 today & one of his friends ran towards our group of mums standing together. It was raining. The friend was wearing his polo shirt & carrying his bag & coat.
I said hi to him & then said "gosh you should really put your coat on, it's raining" and started to help him by taking his bag to hold for him. His dad (who I know fairly well) then arrived & I said "hi I was just getting him to put his coat on" and his dad said "he doesn't have to put his coat on if he doesn't want to". Then they walked off.
I now feel sick with worry that I've pissed off the dad by doing something that I would be totally ok with if another parent did with my ds.
Am I a twat for trying to get another persons child to put on a coat in the rain?
Am I a twat for worrying that I've pissed off the dad who will then tell the mum who'll also be pissed off with me?
Am I over-thinking this? (probably)

Yes you're over thinking. Any right-minded person would have done the same. The man's an idiot. He should be grateful. Don't think about it any more.

No you weren't a twat. Did he put it on willingly with your help? It's not as if you forced his arms in against his will. I'd think no more about it

The right response from the dad was - oh, thank you!
He's a twat.

You're worrying.
You did nothing wrong.

It's the dad that should be thinking about what a plonker he was! You, OP did nothing wrong. Don't think about it for another minute.

Aw. That's the dad's issue not yours.

You did the right thing. The dad sounds like hard work.

Sounds like you need to forgive yourself for being human, all you were doing was a caring sensible thing. Really, don’t feel bad.

You did the right thing. I wish you’d told my dc to put his coat on today as he was soaked when I picked him up!

I don't think it's a big deal that you helped him out his coat on - he could have just said "I don't want to" if he felt inclined!
But it's possible that the way you said it to
The dad has come across as a bit judgemental - why did you feel the need to comment? The dad could surely see that for himself.

I have a child of 8 who is quite capable of choosing for himself whether he wants his coat on or not. I wouldn't be too impressed with another parent fussing over him.

The dad a bonehead and should have thanked you for helping his child.

Dad possibly also has anxiety and thought you were making a passive aggressive comment about his parenting, hence the barbed reply. Or he’s just a bit defensive. Try not to think anymore of it.

I think you should leave the dad to parent his own child.
But it’s not really a big deal either way.

This is not a big deal. I say that as someone who overthinks everything and would be ruminating on this as well.

It was okay for you to mention the coat and try to help. It was equally okay for the Dad to say what he did (although tone is obviously everything).

My DS has a perfectly good waterproof coat which he utterly refuses to wear, he always has. He just ignores anyone who tells him to wear it. My view is that he doesn't have to wear it if he doesn't want to but he doesn't get to complain about being cold is wet either...which he doesn't.

I might have told you this but I would have been nice about it.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. Total mum instinct to say 'Put your coat on' 😁😁 Appreciate you have anxiety and it's easier said than done but please let this go from your mind.

Yeah the correct response would be "thank you"
Please don't dwell on it any longer.

Some people have serious issues accepting anything except "your child is marvellous " (said ofc at a respectful 10 m distance).

You're overthinking it, because you should not care whether such twats are upset/offended.

sparky888 the dad wasn't there when this happened, he turned up once she'd started helping him.

You really didn't do anything wrong, don't listen to anyone posting otherwise OP

You did nothing wrong. In fact I'd say you did a lovely thing given that the dad wasn't there initially.

Depends on how the dad said it. Grumpily - he WBU.
Anxously or defensively - he is worried that you think he is a Baaaad Daddy.
Cheerfully - he's not bothered, and you don't need to either.

Either way YANBU for looking out for a kid. So don't give it headspace.

You did exactly the right thing - it was your mothering instinct kicking in, nothing wrong with that

You were kind, OP. You helped a child and should consider (possibly) annoying his twat of a dad a bonus

I would have given the retreating Dad a passive-aggressive "You're welcome", but then I'm like that

Sounds like you were doing a nice thing for that kid and his dad was being an ass. I would like someone like you to look out for my kid if I was running late. Don't stress over the dad being rude.

Thank you to all those who have replied and have been kind.
I will try and forget about it. I was genuinely trying to help.
I also know that the dad is a nice person & he could have been having a shit day.
I'm a little fragile at the moment & all the positive things said here have helped me feel a bit better.
Clearly my anxiety over this is more complex than worrying about whether I should have helped a kid put a coat on but baby steps...

The man was being an idiot.

You're overthinking it.

There's probably a backstory of someone constantly telling the child to bundle up when he's already warm (I have a child who "runs hot" and is very energetic, who was constantly made by staff on break/ lunch time duty to wear a coat at infant school age despite the fact that he spent the entire lunchtime and break playing football with extreme gusto, meaning he was actually running with sweat with soaking hair when he went back into class - he had the most peculiar and ill suited / jaded year one teacher who actually wrote him a behaviour target to stop sweating in her class!)

You weren't to know if this is a recurring theme in this child's life obviously, and are probably the only person involved who still remembers the very, very trivial and minor exchange. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that the only people thinking about it are on this thread!