I'm at the end of my tether and I don't know what else to do other than ask you for help. I'm a regular poster, just nc for this.
18 yr old DS has Aspergers with lots of learning difficulties. He left college about 2 months ago due to his inability to remember where he was going and what he was doing. He has always had an edge to him, not rude exactly, but where he would rather flee a situation than stay and accept help. I'm pretty sure the teachers couldn't take it any more.
The last two months have been a nightmare. I go to work, (single mum btw) come home to find he's been in bed all day and done nothing towards finding a job / apprenticeship / volunteer position. I've signed him up at a charity dedicated to getting SEN adults into work but it's only once a week and he does nothing in the meantime. I leave lists for him, ask him lovingly, sternly, tried everything..
His room is like a landfill despite my many pleas/nags for him to tidy it, even saying I'll help him. I know it's his room but I keep having to go in there to get stuff like towels, cups but most annoyingly my charger which he keeps taking cos he's lost so many of his own.
Whenever he sees me in there he physically pulls me out by twisting my wrist in a way that I can't get out of. He's kicked me before, notably once when I was trying to reason with him and he kicked me so hard I fell off the bed and onto the floor onto my back.
This morning I went in there to get my charger, and seeing the absolute floor covered mess I started putting his clothes away. A bad move I know but it's so awful, there's mould everywhere because he won't open doors/windows.
This of course led to an argument and he came over to me, called me a bitch and started kicking me. I was on the floor in the corner in a ball and he just kicked me really hard on my side. To which I screamed obviously.
He then tried to grab me and pull me out. I shouldn't have resisted but I was so fed up that I did, at which point he started punching me around the legs and as I was lying down at this point, he put his hands around my neck as if he was going to strangle me. It wasn't hard but it shocked me and I called for help.
I don't know what to do. I want to live a peaceful life. I have very little money and I love DS so much, but when he's like this I just don't want him in my house.
I can't ask for help to people in RL because my parents are quite old and have health problems, and when I've ventured to tell my friends they say "how do you let him get away with it?" as if it's that simple. I don't have many choices. He's a boy with SEN, so I can't just kick him out. I don't have any money. His dad lives abroad and hasn't paid any maintenance for over 10 years.
I'm sorry for the ramble. It's pretty incoherent but I'm just distraught, reached the end of my tether and don't know what to do.