I REALLY fancy my boss

[Soggymacaroon]

Just that really, I’ve name changed so not outed (god I feel cliche). My first job interview was conducted by the MD (the boss) About 6 months ago and from there I just can’t get him out of my head. He’s about 20 years older then me. Attractive for his age, successful and he just gives off a real sexy vibe. I’m pretty sure I feel the sexual tension there but I’m not sure if he’s into me or if he just had a bit of a flirty nature or I’ve just convinced myself! I had to get let my confession out somewhere. I’d like to say I wouldn’t act on it but honestly I’m not sure. It’s pathetic. Excuse me whilst I melt away.

Just that really, I’ve name changed so not outed (god I feel cliche). My first job interview was conducted by the MD (the boss) About 6 months ago and from there I just can’t get him out of my head. He’s about 20 years older then me. Attractive for his age, successful and he just gives off a real sexy vibe. I’m pretty sure I feel the sexual tension there but I’m not sure if he’s into me or if he just had a bit of a flirty nature or I’ve just convinced myself! I had to get let my confession out somewhere. I’d like to say I wouldn’t act on it but honestly I’m not sure. It’s pathetic. Excuse me whilst I melt away

Fine to fancy him.

If you’re both single might be fine to pursue although potentially a bit cringey and if it goes wrong you’ll probably need a new job.

If either of you has a partner steer well clear.

Twenty years is a hell of an age gap!

I think he’s divorced, grown up kids etc. I just can’t put my finger on it but I’ve got it bad. The age gap doesn’t bother me too much, I like the air of authority he gives off.

I’d like to say I wouldn’t act on it but honestly I’m not sure

Don't.

If he's single, sexy and a successful MD, he's probably beating women half his age off with sticks.

Ask yourself if this was skint Bob from Asda, would you still fancy this man who is "Attractive for his age"?

He’s around the 50ish mark I think. I think it’s more his whole vibe more then his looks really, you know when you just instantly think yep I would. I don’t actually think I’d have the courage to make any moves so i don’t think it will ever come to something. There’s something addictive to thinking about it though!

Reading myself back and I cringe about it! The glass of wine hasn’t helped my grammar skills

Ask yourself whether he'd be interested in a 70 year old (ie twenty years older than him) then think of whether you would be, too, if you were his age. That would be you!

I know but there’s something about him. I catch his eye every time he comes into the office. I don’t think I could see myself in a relationship with him but he’s a constant fantasy.

Oh god I know op, I'm the same about loads of older blokes (especially the MD type ones at work).

Power is a massive turn-on. As is dressing well, etc.

I saw a boss of mine 'out of uniform' as it were and it turns out he has tattoos all over his arms 🤤 I don't even normally like tattoos!

There's a guy at work in particular (around 50) and every time I see him I imagine him doing me really hard from behind

The power certainly is a real thing for me. He’s my type as well tall, slim and a bit alpha. I’d love to know if he feels the tension but I think I’d die if he actually knew about how much I fancy him.

You know how you say he's divorced you think?

I'd bet you a large glass of Pinot Grigio that he has deliberately not clarified this. If he's all that, at 50, he's either a millionaire playboy or he's in some sort of long term relationship. I reckon if he were single, you'd know for certain. I know this is a lot of ''I reckons'' but here I go, I reckon he is deliberately not saying anything that will make it obvious he's in a relationship.

If you do have a fling with him, I bet you the rest of that bottle that you end up feeling discarded and foolish and kinda unemployed.

I’ve never asked him directly if he’s in a relationship but I’ve heard he’s divorced. He’s a real workaholic, he owns the business so I suppose he’s kinda got to be like that. I said oh I bet his wife hates it. Then someone said ex-wife. That’s what I’m basing it on I’ve also heard he lives alone. I honestly don’t think I want some big romance from it more just a little secret fumble every now and again. I know it’s a terrible idea but it doesn’t change a thing in my head. I feel like something has to happen for me to snap out of it.

It's NEVER secret for long!

why do you always want the ones you can’t have?!?

Read 'Getting Rid of Matthew' by Jane Fallon. It's exactly how you feel now, then how life is once the affair starts. He is married though. Great read. Might put you off!

This is going to sound terrible and I’m preparing myself for a lot of negativity but when I think of he has a partner it doesn’t put me off at all. I don’t think I’d even feel jealous of it. I know people might read that like I disrespect myself or I’m so desperate I’m willing to put my own feelings aside but I honestly can’t stop thinking of him. I’ll give the book a go and see if it can put some reality into it! Thanks x

Go for it! You only live once 😁

If I knew for sure it wouldn’t spectacularly blow up in my face I think I would. I think to myself surely the tension can’t just be in my head it feels heavy in the air and when I make I contact it’s a little tiny bit longer then normal but then again maybe I’ve just developed into a full grown high schooler or a stalker. 😂

*eye.

I'm in the same position OP.

Really really fancy my boss. There's no age gap in my situation though.
I think it's the authority, he's also very fit and really funny (which is my weakness - I love funny men.)
Like you I feel like there is a tension but I don't know if I'm imagining it.
My crush has been going on about a year though and I keep waiting for it to pass but it hasn't.
Would definitely never act on it as we are both married, even if we were both single I'd never do anything about it as it never stays secret for long and if I somehow wasn't sacked it would seriously damage my reputation and career.
I think it's ok to 'fancy' someone at work as long as it's just harmless fantasy.
I just wish it would pass! It's very distracting, I also feel like it's holding me back at work as there's situations I would normally throw myself into, that could be beneficial or give me a chance to show my skills, that I have backed off from because I'm conscious of him and he makes me nervous and I'm worried what he will think. (Think presenting at a large group of executives or running projects etc) normally I'd throw myself into things like that and I know that's one of the reasons he hired me so I also feel like I need to get over it otherwise it is going to impact my progression.

I hope it passes soon for you!

Keep flirting with him & see what happens. He might not make a move anyway, if he does...

It’s up to him to protect his relationship, if he’s in one... but remember that in future when you’re in a relationship and someone’s throwing themselves st your partner.

I hope he’s single and takes you up on your flirting 😉 but be prepared for him being a bit crap in bed and him moving onto to his next conquest very quickly.

Yes that’s exactly it, it’s so distracting. I was brought in especially to help the company. I did that in record time and I feel like I’ve impressed him with how well I’ve done. The company is primarily men so he is quite assertive and direct with other colleagues but I feel like he’s nicer to me. I cling onto our interactions. Ah I feels good to let this all out.

Don't shit on your own doorstep.