I REALLY fancy my boss

[Soggymacaroon]

Just that really, I’ve name changed so not outed (god I feel cliche). My first job interview was conducted by the MD (the boss) About 6 months ago and from there I just can’t get him out of my head. He’s about 20 years older then me. Attractive for his age, successful and he just gives off a real sexy vibe. I’m pretty sure I feel the sexual tension there but I’m not sure if he’s into me or if he just had a bit of a flirty nature or I’ve just convinced myself! I had to get let my confession out somewhere. I’d like to say I wouldn’t act on it but honestly I’m not sure. It’s pathetic. Excuse me whilst I melt away.

Of course he earns ££££ but that’s not the thing that’s most attractive.

Whoa. Steady. He might not fancy you.

Ah go for it. Life’s so short!

Well yeh but he might fancy me! Won’t know until something happens will I?

So what's the plan then OP? You going to launch yourself at him when you're alone in the lift, and go in for a snog? Or are you going to send him subtle hints that you fancy him like Bridget Jones when she fancied the Hugh Grant character, and start wearing short skirts and see-through tops?

Or you know act like a normal person with a bit of a crush. If he makes a move then I’m all over it. If not, it wasn’t meant to be. I’m not a raving looney. First I’m going to dig to see if he’s got a girlfriend.

It’s money and power / capability you’re attracted to.

Be professional. Your professional reputation is far more important than the chance of a brief relationship.

Many , if not most of us, have had intense crushes on someone at work.
We get it, it's lovely, it's fun and makes Monday mornings something to look forward to.
But it's almost always a really bad idea to actually do anything about it. It WILL be noticed, it WILL be gossiped about, even when it's all over, and it WILL reflect badly on you. Unfair but true.
Why not just continue to enjoy it for what it is? Enjoy the mild flirtation, the chats, the looking forward seeing him every day, the happy-to-be-at-work feeling. Who knows, you might even become friends.

You have got it bad OP!

Do you know he is definitely single? If he’s attractive, £££, I doubt he’s unattached.

If you did decide to go for it, would you be prepared to change jobs if it all went wrong? Once that line is crossed it will probably be impossible for you to continue employment.

Do you work within a small, niche industry? If you do think carefully, rumours could jeopardise future career plans.

People that work around you will know. People always pick up very quickly.

Take care fantasy and reality can be very different things.

Okay so I’ve found out. He does have a girlfriend who’s he been with for a few years. He doesn’t live with her though because he likes his own place and time.

So he does have a long term girlfriend. Doesn't that change things for you OP?

there is a lot of tosh in this thread

OP we are naturally attracted to dominant powerful males what you are experiencing is entirely normal , if you are dressing seductively and flirting with him in work then i can assure you he will have noticed and likely be thinking about doing bad things to you too

i dont see any issue with having a fling but keep it quiet and you will need to ensure it stays that way as the nature of the relationship could cause issues if you go any further with it

he will already know this , good luck and i hope it turns out as good as you imagined

Id like to say it does change things but in all honesty, it doesn't. After reading the comments yesterday I was resolute that it was wrong and I wouldn't pursue but as soon as I've seen him today it reversed in my head again.

I don't dress provocatively in the office really as its not that type of environment but I make sure my hair and makeup are done. I just get a gut feeling from him that he's into me. Everytime he walks by we lock eyes for a few seconds. Maybe he just feels really creeped out! haha

I think if you think someone fancies you then they normally do. We pick up on chemistry etc.

we are naturally attracted to dominant powerful males

Speak for yourself.

You sound immature btw OP.

Op this was fine but now you've found out he has a partner it hasn't changed your thoughts? That's bad. He's In a relationship, leave him well alone.

Why because I'm frank with what I want? Nothing is ever black and white is it really? If we all have these desires why don't we act on them.

we all have these desires why don't we act on them

Desires and needs are very different. Grow up!

I wasn't comparing needs to desire. But why should I limit myself? I won't be making any moves but if he was to then, yes I think I would go for it. I'm just being honest and if I have an attack of regret in the future I'll have to put my big girl pants on and deal with that.

Have you heard of limerence, OP?!

Weird person.

we all have these desires why don't we act on them

Because we don't want to be arseholes who hurt other people for the sake of a shag.

I think people often think they are special in these situations or their connection is unusual.

Most of us meet multiple people we have great chemistry with during our lives, we just choose whether to act on it based on a number of factors.

One of which is us or them being in a relationship. Or being our boss. Or the chemistry making us feel (in your words) "pathetic".

Just.ask.him if he wants to bang it out

I’d never heard of limerence before but a quick google and it’s me!!