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I REALLY fancy my boss

103 replies

Soggymacaroon · 10/01/2020 21:50

Just that really, I’ve name changed so not outed (god I feel cliche). My first job interview was conducted by the MD (the boss) About 6 months ago and from there I just can’t get him out of my head. He’s about 20 years older then me. Attractive for his age, successful and he just gives off a real sexy vibe. I’m pretty sure I feel the sexual tension there but I’m not sure if he’s into me or if he just had a bit of a flirty nature or I’ve just convinced myself! I had to get let my confession out somewhere. I’d like to say I wouldn’t act on it but honestly I’m not sure. It’s pathetic. Excuse me whilst I melt away.

OP posts:
Badtasteflump · 11/01/2020 09:56

Ha Lions when I read the OP I thought of that book too 😁

Soggymacaroon · 11/01/2020 10:06

I work closely with one of his friends so I might let it slip he’s hot. Bad idea? At least then he’ll know and the ball is in his court.

OP posts:
CassidyStone · 11/01/2020 18:03

If you want to make a complete eejit of yourself, tell his mate you think he's hot. But it's a bit of a juvenile way of going about it and he's your boss

TheYearOfTheDog · 11/01/2020 18:50

😳
I am glad Im not at yourvwork witnessing this!!

We had a guy, aged 24, at my office. He left but he was truly one of the most conventionally handsome men Ive ever seen and there were a few people who blushed and laughed vivaciously or just went mute and stumbled over their words around him. He left and one woman mentions him every day still nearly a year later. 🙈

Soggymacaroon · 11/01/2020 19:13

I don’t mean raving loony “tell your mate I fancy him” just a more work into the conversation type thing. I can assure you I’m not visibly foaming at the mouth falling over him. Hands up though I do sound completely obsessed, I just can’t get him out of my head. It’s been so long as well that I don’t know how to reach a resolution.

OP posts:
AlaskaElfForGin · 11/01/2020 19:27

For god's sake don't tell his mate! That's guaranteeing that Julie in accounts will know all about it by lunchtime. Either engineer a situation that you can ask him for a drink or accept it's not meant to be.

Incidentally, I give crap advice as I shagged my boss (20 years ago) and I was excrutiating the following day. So don't listen to me. Grin

Soggymacaroon · 11/01/2020 20:08

I now instantly want to know more!? Yeh I’ve not really thought about after.....I’m going to do some more digging and find out his situation before making a fool of myself. I can’t just ride this out.

OP posts:
CassidyStone · 12/01/2020 07:09

Would you fancy this 50yo man so much if he was the trolley pusher at Asda? Thought not. It's mostly the power and charisma this man has, by the sounds of it. If he's as attractive and as flirtatious as you say, then you may find you are one in a long line of new female employees that gets this 'special' treatment. He'll flirt, he'll make you feel fantastic, he'll take you to dinner, he'll take you to bed...and then he'll act as if you don't exist and move on to the next woman with an obvious crush on him. Easy pickings, no effort required on his part.

Sorry to be so harsh, but please think how this might pan out long-term for you. Could you carry on working in this environment if you were humped then dumped? If you were the subject of gossip throughout the company, and laughed at behind your back?

Womenwotlunch · 12/01/2020 07:15

It’s strange . I have had some handsome, alpha male type bosses and haven’t fancied any of them.

Onlysayingitonce · 12/01/2020 07:42

op I fancy my boss. He's so cute, hilarious and clever. He's definitely a laid back casual kind of boss. I love everything about him apart from the fact he's my boss BlushBlush

Things are getting awkward now though. He tried to hug me at the office party (he greeted everyone with a hug) and I obviously recoiled and tried to get out of the hug. Which left him confused!
Especially as I then greeted some other male colleagues and their wives with big hugs (good friends)

Apparently he's worried I'll hand my notice in soon. And I think I will Sad

Soggymacaroon · 12/01/2020 09:08

You’re right I probably wouldn’t fancy him if he worked in Asda but he wouldn’t be the same person then would he? I don’t understand why you think I’d be treated so badly by him just by sleeping with him, surely some perfectly good relationships start like this. He might not be interested at all, he must of picked up a vibe that I fancy him but hadn’t done anything yet. Just because he’s older doesn’t mean he’s some sexual predator

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CountFosco · 12/01/2020 09:21

But if he is older and has an ex-wife and kids then if he is a decent man he won't be interested in a serious relationship with a much younger woman who might want children. So at best you would be a bit of fun. But you work with him so what happens when the relationship finishes? Just don't go there, the power balance is too off for this to end happily. If you were closer in age or didn't work together and were both definitely single then great, go for it, but you will not come out of this well.

Soggymacaroon · 12/01/2020 09:52

I mean could I actually be sacked for shagging the boss? I’ve checked no work policies stating anything about relationships in the office. Every warning completely does make sense but it doesn’t stop me wanting him so badly.

OP posts:
Crystal87 · 12/01/2020 09:54

If he's in his 50s, his children are likely to be grown up and could be a similar age to you. So he may not see you as a romantic prospect. Although some men would, some wouldn't entertain the idea.

Soggymacaroon · 12/01/2020 10:03

So I need a sure fired way of finding this out without actually risking looking like a maniac. Any suggestions? As You can probably tell I’ve been out the game for a while.

OP posts:
CakeAndGin · 12/01/2020 10:19

OP, this is his business. That, from the sounds of it, he’s worked hard to build possibly at the expense of his family life. He’s not just a regular boss/MD. He’s the owner and boss. You will rank lower than his company, even if you do great things for his company, he will still put the company before you.

Time and time again in workplaces women sleep with their bosses. It always reflects badly on the woman, rarely the man. She’s the one who gets a reputation that she carries with her to the next role (and the role after that). She’s the one accused of sleeping her way to the top. You’ve put in good work, it’s clear you’re proud of the rock you’ve done for the company - do you want that tarnished because you sleep with him? Even if a relationship built and you married the guy, the other people in the office would still link your performance to who you are sleeping with.

I don’t understand why you think I’d be treated so badly by him just by sleeping with him, surely some perfectly good relationships start like this.

You’re in deep OP. You don’t just want a fumble. You’re convincing yourself that good relationships can start this way. So sure, some good relationships start this way. However, he devotes himself to his company, he’s a workaholic with a divorced family. He’s probably not going to want children with you, if that’s something you want. He’s not going to give you share in his business if you were to get married. He’s not going to work less and spend more time with you, you will be no different than his first wife. You might struggle to leave this role because you would be saying you don’t like his company, that he’s worked very hard for. Go ahead but be aware of the life you are choosing and it’s likely to be a very hard relationship.

Soggymacaroon · 12/01/2020 10:32

I definitely don’t want children or shares in his company. It might seem a bit gold diggery but I’m not interested in his cash at all. I like the idea of having a secret with him it’s part of the allure. I don’t want him to treat me to meals and dates just sex. It’s right though then what? Inevitably it’s either really awkward or forms into a relationship. I’m just going to act the same and if nothing comes from it then so be it, hopefully the crush will fade or he makes a move. I’m back to work tomorrow so I’ll try and find out if he has a girlfriend or not. I think if he does, he’s probably not interested anyway and the vibe I pick up from him is in my head.

OP posts:
4amWitchingHour · 12/01/2020 10:45

Oh god woman you're living in a fantasy land. It will never be as good as you've built it up to be in your head. You're setting yourself up for some mediocre sex and an attack of regret in a few months time

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2020 10:58

I never understand this, women who want to fuck the boss. I've never fancied my boss, I find having an element of control over me a total turn off and would hate to be that woman, and to be known as that woman by my colleagues. Everyone will just think you're there just as a shag for him and the disrespect from the others will be huge. Your work will no longer be relevant, and people will talk about you behind your back. And yes they would find out. They always do.

Hopefully he's not stupid enough to shit on his own doorstep and fuck the pay roll, but some men will go for easy sex. Even when they don't particularly fancy the woman.

Honestly op I hope he has more sense than you.

Soggymacaroon · 12/01/2020 11:48

Everything in my body screams not to get drawn in but I just can’t help it. I feel like if I do make a move it’s likely to prove that he would be into it but It’s possible I’d completely live to regret it but I still couldn’t say that I wouldn’t if he did make a move. Told you I had it bad.

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Soggymacaroon · 12/01/2020 11:52

I feel like you have the impression I’m a total doormat which I’m not. It would be a mutual friends with benefits type set up but the added complication of him being my boss is why I haven’t done anything yet and I find myself here talking to strangers. The control element is just a personal preference which I don’t enjoy in all aspects of my life but I get some kicks from it. I’ve always been attracted to an older man if I’m honest but I’ve never acted on it. If I did it might be gossiped about but that’s all it would be and then it would die down.

OP posts:
SwishSwishBisch · 12/01/2020 12:02

Just going to look at this from my situation, which is the reverse of yours. In my case, I’m the boss and fancy someone who is both 13 years my junior and at the start of their career with us. He also fancies me. We’re both single but I’d never do a thing about it. The ramifications, on both sides, could be disastrous for our careers, for the sake of a bit of sex. I enjoy the banter/flirtation for what it is, and focus my .... energies on more appropriate men outside of work!

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2020 12:12

f I did it might be gossiped about but that’s all it would be and then it would die down

No it wouldn't, it never does, for the rest of your time there you'd be seen as nothing more than the bosses bit of fluff, employed for one reason only.

imgonflirtwiththedevil · 12/01/2020 12:13

Bet he earns a lot of ££££

UYScuti · 12/01/2020 12:18

That's a big age gap and at 50 he is just on the point of being over the hill in terms of attractiveness I'd go for someone younger with a hot body and more stamina 😁