Biting your tongue on social media

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

I mostly lurk on Mumsnet and other social media and probably only post on 1 in 10 threads I read. I think I'm fairly restrained in not firing off a scathing reply to stupid questions that irritate me . But tonight I had to sit on my hands after reading this post on my local FB forum "Hi, looking for recommendations for a cleaner please. I've had twins so am looking for someone really thorough". Honestly it took everything I had not to post "So anyone who hasn't had twins can make do with a slapdash cleaner eh?". Luckily I was the bigger person and walked away.

Have you seen a social media post today that you've had to talk yourself out of posting on?

LIGHT HEARTED ffs.

All the time!

The 'is anyone selling a brand new washing machine?'

Yes, shops are.

Or the ones who share Missing Person / pet posts where the person or animal went missing a couple of hours earlier on the other side of the world. Not likely to turn up in Bumfluff, Cheshire in this time are they?

Yep. I have a friend who lurches from one relationship to another; a month ago she was heartbroken over a guy. This week: photos of her in USA with random guy with his children

A girl I went to school with 20 years ago on Facebook has recently became pregnant and she posts about 5 things a day about her ‘princess’.
Bump photos, new outfit photos, equipment she’s bought etc etc

The one that made me really have to sit on my hands was a photo of a note pad with 3 names written on and then a caption “just working through my friends list to decide who can come to my baby shower”

I thought you were going to tell us selfies with biting tongue were the new duck face

Girl I went to school with has been with this guy for around 6 months, she's already had a hen party (they aren't engaged but she said she was sick of waiting for one) and today posted how nice it was that she was in the bath and he was in the bathroom having a shit 🤮 took a lot for me to scroll past that one.

And the 'does anyone know what time Asda/b&q/general shop opens?' Yes, fucking google does! It will even tell you when it's busiest!

Do it all the time, I know I could post really sarcastic comments to stuff but I try really hard to not react to posts on social media.

A couple today actually.
A friend of a friend who lives in a fantasy land her best friend tells me everything as it her best friend (so confusing) she posts pics of her "perfect family" and at Xmas with their matching Xmas eve pjs (all 7 of them) when I know that her and her fiancé are coke addicts and he leaves her all the time Cos she's a fucking lunatic. But of course she never posts all the crap stuff Cos she's "friends" with his ex's on her fb so she wants them to see that they have the "perfect life together" today was a status about how lucky she is to have such a great family life"

Another was some woman on a free local fb page asking if anyone had a Free condenser dryer, a bed, cooker and canvas pics. When people said they was giving there's away she wanted to see pics first and when people posted the pics she didn't even have the decency to reply she just moved on to the next person. Cheeky fucking bitch was what I wanted to say!

I really need to come off fb

Yup dh has a relative who is very “artsy” cue - slack at everything that doesn’t involve weed, tattoos or shopping. She also has children of which she doesn’t and hasn’t parented (has taken them to clubs and very indie concerts age 10). Series of poor relationship choices by her. CONSTANTLY posts how the school failing by not parenting her children 🙄.

And the woman who constantly posts picture of her newly painted nails with shout outs.

Both now blocked - my life feels much cleaner and less stressful now!

The mad cat people on my local FB page. Photo of fat, healthy cat with "Found this poor boy in my garden looking lost, I've put chicken and tuna down for him twice a day and now he's waiting by my back door every morning, I feel so sad for him! anyone know who can help?" And then there's a 50-comment thread about "we need Brenda, she's got a chip scanner, can someone tag her in, Brenda can you get over to town this afternoon it's URGENT!"

FFS the cat is fine. The cat is not lost. The cat is aware you keep feeding it and knows when it's on to a good thing! Stop trying to rescue other people's pets!

People posting hoax security alerts, drug warnings etc with the comment 'better safe than sorry' NO you aren't being safe, there is no risk! 10 seconds on Google would have shown you that!

@53rdWay i have the very same cat group in my town they’re utterly obsessed!!

The one that irritates me the most is,
"Going to be doing a friend cull...."
I mean, are we supposed to be relieved afterwards to find we have not been culled??

I am a complete grinch about the woman in our local area who is 'knitting garments for poor Australian children and koalas'.

Please don't post things to Australia, ducky. Send them money.

Theyre trying to ban Christmas cos of the muslims. Who are they and no they arent!

Furbabies. Fucking furbabies.

Yes to the friend full one.
"I'm going to see no actually reads my post, please state in one word how we met. Then I'll know who my true friends are"
The whole thing screams of attention seeking. One of my fb friends has done this 3 times now. I ignore it every time but she still hasn't unfriended me!

these are great! Omg at the baby shower list! It makes you embarrassed for people.

I have a friend of a friend who likes to take photos on her daily walks and posts them. All of them. Here's a pretty tree. Here's the same tree but one foot to the left. Here's the same tree in b&w. Here's me standing in front of the tree. Here's the tree from the other side. Ooo look here's the tree with a bird flying above it... I want to scream 'EDIT YOUR PHOTOS'. Next post she'll have the tree again but at night...

All this reinforces why I deactivated my Facebook!
Although MN can be a bit frustrating in the same way sometimes.

“Share if you love your [son/daughter/father/whatever]”

Just stop it.

A relative shares every local police posts about have you seen this person etc. Although about half of them are from a neighbouring city not even where she lives, I just want to comment why why why? 🤷🏻‍♀️

The worst one was about a missing elderly man. If you actually clicked on the link it was from the US (she’s in the uk, and not even the same city name), and about 6 months old. And if you bothered to read it there was an update near the top to say he’d been found. Then my mum shared it from her, it still makes me giggle.

CF - I'm in desperate need, has anyone got a single bed and wardrobe for my sons room for free?

Unsuspecting helpful person - I can give you a bed

CF - can I see pics my sons fussy, I don't want it if its not perfect. I need you to deliver

I'm not sure I've forgiven a dear but batty old relative who tagged me in every single one of about 100+ mundane pictures of a splash park from a day out with our kids near on 10 years ago. I keep trying to untag a few then lose heart. It's just annoying because all of them that remain pop up front and centre under "photos of me". No it's not! It's 86 pictures of a splash park squirter taken from different angles in 2009! Blurry geese! My kids aren't even in most of them! Don't bloody tag me if I'm not actually in the picture!

I agree about the CF posts.

Is anyone "gifting" a ...

almost new biggie
washing machine
tumble dryer
freezer
bed

etc etc

Someone I know. 4 dcs from age 6 months to 7 years old. Doesn't and hasn't worked in the 5 years I have known her. Has her mum round from 8am to 8pm every day helping with the dcs. The father of 2 of the dcs has moved back in. And also doesn't work.

Posted last month looking for a cleaner because she was too busy to clean properly.

3 adults in the house. 3 oldest dc at school ft and for 15 hours. 1 baby. Not a job to be had between 3 of them and not one of them has time to keep a 3 bed semi clean?

I don't give a shiney shite if they work or not. But be honest. Say you want a cleaner cos you are a lazy fuck.