Biting your tongue on social media

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

I mostly lurk on Mumsnet and other social media and probably only post on 1 in 10 threads I read. I think I'm fairly restrained in not firing off a scathing reply to stupid questions that irritate me . But tonight I had to sit on my hands after reading this post on my local FB forum "Hi, looking for recommendations for a cleaner please. I've had twins so am looking for someone really thorough". Honestly it took everything I had not to post "So anyone who hasn't had twins can make do with a slapdash cleaner eh?". Luckily I was the bigger person and walked away.

Have you seen a social media post today that you've had to talk yourself out of posting on?

LIGHT HEARTED ffs.

Any of the Britain First type crap, "It's illegal to put up a Union Jack in this country yet Muslims can buy a vegan sausage roll in Gregg's while our soldiers are homeless" type bullshit.

Also (sorry) the 'birthday in heaven' type posts.
"My nan would have been 129 today, happy birthday, nan". No. She wouldn't have been.

Anyone who posts a mongrel puppy and calls it some made up name. You just know they have paid over the odds for it, bought it because it’s a cute little ragbag of fluffy fur and they’ll be moaning about it chewing their house to bits in a month or so.

All that ‘we watched you do this Harry, we watched you do that’.... mate, I think everyone watching him is basically the problem here 🙄

Reads like a stalker letter- i’d be terrified if I recieved that about watching me constantly.

I suppose it could be from a paparazzi 😂. That would make sense...

That syrupy Harry letter made me too! I suppose it's meant to be motherly but as you point out sort of shows how bloody "watched" he has been and no wonder he is sick of it!

oh that Harry letter,
I must find that and Tell Them to Stop Watching him

Anyone who checks into a hospital with no explanation.
Anyone who posts 'I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW' but doesn't state a reason why. I have defriended someone who used to do this nearly every day. She would get 'you OK hun?' And 'what's up babe'
comments by the dozen and she would reply 'call you later' to all of them. Well if you don't want everyone to know what's going on don't put it on fucking facebook then.

The drunken aggressive rants where the OP puts us all straight about a few things. An ex colleague posts these and I literally have to put my phone down to stop myself telling her fuck off!
Last night’s was all about how many hours a week she works to earn good money for her family, how she goes without buying new cosmetics (totally random 😂), but some lazy bastards on benefits moan about walk-in their kids to school (but we weren’t told who these lazy bastards were 🤔). It was all weird, unpleasant, and a hefty amount of benefit bashing and then patting herself on the back.
She should stay away from FB when ages had a drink me thinks

@trappedsincesundaymorn

I'd like to post that sort of reply. But sit on my hands frequently instead.

• Also (sorry) the 'birthday in heaven' type posts. "My nan would have been 129 today, happy birthday, nan". No. She wouldn't have been.*

Plus 1000 fuck off points when its for someone they never met. '35 years ago today you got your wings. Party with them angels, love and miss you so much' from someone who is 26. Or, and this is a genuine post, 'feeling so low today, on this day in 1980 you were taken from us and my life changed for ever. Nothing has ever been the same, my heart is breaking' - it was about John Lennon. Poster never met him and was about 12 when he died.

Thats why I cancelled my FB account

Witchend

She also complained about people sitting outside of the pub..that she chose to move 3 doors away from, and set up a petition to get the pub garden shut down. "Doris" is one of the village's many idiots.

theendoftheendoftheend omg that Harry letter, Christ alive what a pile of tosh

Wokes, snowflakes, vegans. They are usually various combinations of these three.

On a few travel groups. People ask “what’s the weather going to be like in xxx next week?” GOOGLE IT YOU MORON! OR USE A WEATHER APP!
Similar questions include do I need a passport for Paris and what is the time difference between London and xxx. Unreal. Using Facebook as some sort of google for morons.

True crime groups where a person was murdered 30 years ago and so many of them want to keep talking and speculating about something that’s done and dusted, and they also think that they know more than the fucking police, they’re ‘emotional’ detectives.

People that post things like ‘so fucking angry right now’ yet they don’t say why and when you ask they say ‘pm me’...AAARRRGH

People that bitch and moan about their child’s father being a shit parent, now yes he may well be shit but think of how your child feels knowing that your talking about something so personal on social media.

Grown men that have Instagram or Facebook to post make me think because it’s more of a female thing to do.

All the boring pics of folks kids.

Ugly people who wear a bit of lippy in a pic and post it and then people comment ‘stunning/beautiful’ ‘you look great hun’, erm no you fucking don’t so stop lying, just like the pic, don’t go ott with comments.

I’m an oil painting obviously

People that post on social media that they get up and go to work everyday for their kids, erm no you have worked there long before you had kids so why say shite like this?

Sorry should have said an ugly picture not an ugly person.

LeithWalk love your name! I used to live in Leith

Watch parties on local shit selling sites.... I dont want to watch you flog your tat!

Live psychic readings with Terrance... who looks like he’s been communicating with a bottle of Jameson’s rather than the other world!

The admins on a local group who write posts which are obviously going to gather a wide range of opinions and then threaten to flounce off when unsurprisingly people have differing opinions or that post every single fucking day and then complain about how much of their time it takes up! Stop posting then Sharon!

I also hate the angels, the birthdays in heaven, the hospital pics, the ok huns etc

The weirdest one I’ve seen tho is posting pictures from The church and graveside at a funeral! Wowzers!

My favourite this week on a school parent site, twat posts "is it ok to break the rules and send in paracetamol for my mini twat as they are in pain and dont want to bother the nurse?" Cue much berating by other rule following parents and then indignation that the school spoke to the kid😂🤣. Twat was surprised that school got to hear of this post💁‍♀️. Loads of parents work at the school you dimwit and if you're going to send in illicit medication DON'T POST IT ON FACEBOOK!! 🥴 It keeps me amused!

A mad girl from school who’s heavily into Girl Guiding and always saying on FB whenever she posts something about it that “AllTheWhores you should get involved in this!” Or “AllTheWhores you’d be great leading one of our groups!” I’m a teacher so when the rolling CRB thing came out she almost wet herself with joy and posted “AllTheWhores you could get involved with the Brownies now and wouldn’t even have to get a separate CRB!”

No joke, I responded once saying it wasn’t really my thing in 2013. Ever since then she’s been tagging me in this shit twice a month and I’ve been ignoring.

No joke, I responded once saying it wasn’t really my thing in 2013. Ever since then she’s been tagging me in this shit twice a month and I’ve been ignoring

I’d have blocked her long ago!

The posts where mittens the cat was lost or something happened 5 years ago and it's still be long reposted

Although the amount of posts where invite my tongue roll my eyes and give the op a grip happens all the time on mn. And it's at an increasing rate

'has anyone' or 'does anyone' posts.

'has anyone been to Tenerife?'

No love, nobody. Sorry.

'does anyone know how to upload photos to a laptop'

'nope, all the people that did have died'

Yes, I'm being petty. It doesn't give me the rage though, I just get mildly amused at potential answers to daft questions, then don't post them.

'I'm boycotting X because they've put halal in their food'
Ffs, air is halal so better stop breathing too

Tesco are giving away £100 voucher to everyone who likes and shares this post. Err no they are not because they would go bust