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Would you be upset if your kids didn't marry/have kids?

103 replies

Echobelly · 08/01/2020 12:07

Was discussing this with friends recently… my kids are still pre-teen so I’m sure my feeling could change, but right not I really don’t feel bothered whether I am ever a grandparent or not, though some of my friends with kids a similar age were sure they’d be very sad not to have grandkids.

Thinking about it, I’m also not too bothered about whether or not they get a married/have a LTR (provided of course, they are happy with that as an outcome, obviously I’d be sad if they wanted to and didn’t). But I feel it quite important to tell DD in particular as she gets older that no one’s expecting her to marry or have kids and that’s her choice…. Especially with increasing evidence that while marriage is great for men’s wellbeing, it’s actively negative for women apparently! I think now that women don’t have to be financially reliant on men (though being in a relationship certainly helps, especially if kids are in the picture) marriage just isn’t the imperative it was, but on some levels society still treats it as the peak of a woman’s life and her #1 goal (but not men, of course).
Has anyone found their feelings on this have changed as they get older?

OP posts:
LittleBing · 08/01/2020 20:17

I do want grandchildren when mine are grown BUT: their happiness and life choices are theirs and more important than my desire for grandchildren. As long as they're happy, I am and I wouldn't force a lifestyle on them, my decision was to have children, their decision is theirs.

Bloodybridget · 08/01/2020 20:23

Well, I never had a child myself, but now absolutely love having a relationship with my DP's three grandchildren (all born since we got together). And I saw how my DM adored my brother's daughters. So I do think with love and goodwill on all sides, the grandparent/grandchild relationship can be wonderful, my DP is a brilliant granny and everyone gains from her involvement with the children.

BooseysMom · 08/01/2020 20:29

Depends how climate change is going! Agree I'd rather they were happy.

I agree that sadly it does depend on how bad the climate gets. If the poster who claimed to be a climate scientist on a recent thread is correct we only have 25 years left before the planet becomes uninhabitable. So that's cheering

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