Is this rude? Turning off light leaving me standing in the dark

[weemouse]

Let me explain; We have a big ceiling light and then a tall floor lamp behind the couch, due to position of the floor standard lamp, when entering the livingroom, you would need to put the big light on first, then walk over to put the standard light on (which is a better light as its a dimmer and just the angle into the Room), then pop the big light off - and then vice versa for leaving the room. (sounds a hassle it takes seconds to do it)

Last night after finishing watching TV, I get up and turn the TV off, start walking over to the wall switch for the big light, and before I can get there, my husband, who is on the couch, leans back and turns off the standard lamp completely, leaving me flailing in the complete dark to find my way to the wall switch, I mean its only a couple of feet, but really dis-orientating.

My husband has done this a couple of times historically, I've told him it's rude, we've had words, and he's just done it again last night!

It pisses me off no end that he does this.

Would this annoy you to be left standing in the dark like this trying to find the wall light? Or do I need to get a grip?

Well it would be annoying but not so much I'd post about it here. I'd just say 'oi!' and ask him to turn the light back on and then immediately forget about it..

If it only takes seconds then why are you 'flailing around in the dark?'.

Sounds like a tiny thing that you're being dramatic about, just let it go, it's not worth arguing about for a couple of seconds of mild irritation.

How would he react if you did it to him?

I assume you're only a few places away from reaching a light switch you know how to find?

It would piss me off but I'm not sure if be making a big deal of it. If he was walking in and turning the lights off on you while you were trying to do something and then leaving again, that would be different.

Sorry OP this made me laugh
I'd just do what the other PP said and say 'Oi turn it back on I can't see where I'm going'

Paces not places.

So you're both in the dark?

Im a familiar room?

Yeah, you're over reacting

Sorry but I think you're overreacting here. He just flipped the standard lamp off as he was right by it. I imagine he thought he was being helpful. I think you should wear a head torch at all times just in case this should happen again

I can't particularly see an issue with being in the dark two steps away from the light switch tbh.

That said, I couldn't be bothered with all that faffing around, and would probably set up voice activation (via Alexa and smart bulb or smart socket) so that you could switch the lamp on as you entered the room.

I don't see it as rude. I can find my way to a familiar light switch in the dark though when I'm only a few feet away. If you can't I'd just ask him to turn the other light back on for a sec.

This would annoy me, but I'm visually impaired and so my eyes take ages to adjust to the change in light. I do also find it disorientating to unexpectedly find myself in the dark.

However, I wouldn't call it rude, just mildly irritating.

It just sounds like he was trying to be helpful to save you the effort of turning the lamp off, and slightly mistimed it. Surely if you were only two feet away you weren't flailing around?

Is this part of a pattern of behavior designed to annoy you?

Big light is such a funny phrase. Makes me laugh.

Sort out a wall switch for the lamp? It would save an awful lot of faffing.

You need to get a grip

I would navigate my way out of the room (sounds like you find it an ordeal so you'd have to go on hands and knees!) thus leaving him in the dark without the big light () on!

DH and I have a similar set up and do this regularly to each other. It's just mis-timing. Can you really not find your way in the dark?
Or is he doing it deliberately to be an arse? In which case punch him and then claim you were aiming for the light switch.

I would suggest a head torch as well, or to be bit quaint,a little candle in a holder, like in the Poldark home !! I would let this funny quirk of your husbands go,not worth getting annoyed about, that's unless you fall over in the dark, and break your ankle !!

We do this all the time. Both of us know where the light switch in our own room is.

No it's not rude. Surely you know where the wall switch is?

Why do you need to turn the big light on if you're both leaving the room anyway?

Why not put the lamp on a timer?

I do the same, but I live on my own. Turn lamp off and then walk into hall and put light on, Then I go to the bathroom, turn all the lights off and find my way to bed in the dark which takes seconds. Give over OP, it's so petty.

I have the same set up. I just walk through the room in the complete dark, I mean it’s my living room and I know how big it is and where the door is. Same if I need the toilet in the night I just walk across my bedroom in the dark.

Overreacting. Just say 'Oi, i can't see - switch it on'.

Then get on with life.

No. My husband and I both turn the tv off, fish tank off then walk out in the dark. Only lived here for 6 months and manage to find the door every time without any hassle. It's not a big deal.

What sucks is him turning off the bedside lamp before I'm in bed and I stub my toe on the way round. But then again I do it to him too and laugh like he does to me.