Is this rude? Turning off light leaving me standing in the dark

[weemouse]

Let me explain; We have a big ceiling light and then a tall floor lamp behind the couch, due to position of the floor standard lamp, when entering the livingroom, you would need to put the big light on first, then walk over to put the standard light on (which is a better light as its a dimmer and just the angle into the Room), then pop the big light off - and then vice versa for leaving the room. (sounds a hassle it takes seconds to do it)

Last night after finishing watching TV, I get up and turn the TV off, start walking over to the wall switch for the big light, and before I can get there, my husband, who is on the couch, leans back and turns off the standard lamp completely, leaving me flailing in the complete dark to find my way to the wall switch, I mean its only a couple of feet, but really dis-orientating.

My husband has done this a couple of times historically, I've told him it's rude, we've had words, and he's just done it again last night!

It pisses me off no end that he does this.

Would this annoy you to be left standing in the dark like this trying to find the wall light? Or do I need to get a grip?

Why can’t you just turn off the lamp and follow the light from under the door in to the hallway? Or use your phone torch?

Invest in a remote controlled plug, problem solved.

😂 I can’t imagine caring enough to post about it here. Although I also can’t imagine why you are “flailing” over a couple of feet in a completely familiar room...

That would annoy the shit out of me, especially as it’s not just the once.

I get really disorientated in the dark (rubbish night vision) and my spatial awareness isn’t great even in full daylight.

I would probably call him a dickhead and, once the big light is on, throw something soft(ish) at him, and probably miss.

It’s for the best that I’m single.

Mountain.Molehill.

What inwood said.

Get a head torch

thanks for handing me the grip - all you points taken!

I would also 'Oi!'
Or, proceed out of the door and shut it behind me leaving him in the dark.
Is he generally a bit selfish? because he sounds very similar to my DP, who will then protest "I was only trying to help"

supersop60 yes I think he is selfish and attention seeking.

I've been following The Pattern app, and it's made see how he operates, even though "he really doesn't mean anything by it"

I have to log off for a bit now - but am taking on board the majority of posters feedback

Our set up is the same and I can't say I think it's rude. We often do it to each other. My dh does it toe by turning the tv off when I have turned the lamp off and using the light of the tv to see to the big light switch. I do think its thoughtless but it wouldn't occur to me to say anything or get mad about it.

Umm... as you're two feet from the light switch and the living room door when he does this, why don't you just leave the room and leave him sitting in the dark?

and... then you mention you're using an astrology app to understand your relationship. Really?

Oh op, get a grip. It’s a little unthoughtful but not rude. Just ask him to turn it back on

Get a smart plug then you won’t have this problem again

It would annoy me but not enough to post on here. Get a smart plug and turn it off on your phone.

Big light is such a funny phrase.

We call the overhead light the big light, too. It's rarely on as it really shows how grubby the carpet is as it's too bright.

You need Alexa and an intelligent plug. Mines wired up that when I say 'Alexa good night' ,she turns off, the TV, sound bar and 3 lights . It was the Christmas tree lights as well. She then says good night, reminds me of anything we're doing tomorrow and gives me a weather forecast.
But your being a drama queen to your dh.

Big light here too.

My husband has a similar habit. He has a habit of switches off a light, usually as he passes through whilst I'm staying in the room. He also managed to switch the light off whilst I'm walking down the stairs with regularity.

It boils down to him believing it's wasteful to have it on and that trumps whatever I'm doing.

We've had some spectacular rows about it and it never resolves.

This would really bother my husband, he never walks around our home in low light/the dark. If I turned the lights out on him he'd see it as rude and he'll have a go.

I'm the complete opposite, the light only goes on if I need to see something, otherwise I'm often in low/light the dark wandering around putting things away etc. Aside from anything else it saves energy/money.

This does mean I can be thoughtless about the light because it just doesn't make sense to me that he needs proper light to walk around our home of 10 years...so I forget and turn the lights off. It's only when I'm told off I'll remember for a bit, but I always lapse back to lights off eventually.

I'm the furthest you could get from attention seeking but entirely accept that I could be selfish for not remembering this one thing amongst the million other quirks he and our children have.

Whoops went off on a metal there

But I'd find it rude, why can't he just wait?

I imagine it wouldn’t annoy you if it wasn’t part of a bigger picture.

That's definitely rude and really weird too.

Surely it depends if he is doing it to annoy you or unsettle you? Which it sounds like he is .

I don't think you are being a drama queen.

You could always use the torch on your mobile if you're that worried about it.