Dd won't go to school

[moglovesmincepies]

What do you do with a year 10 school refuser?
I can't drag her out of bed she gets violent.
Has mental health problems but not formally diagnosed as she won't go to the GP with me.
Last term I had to bribe her with money for a full week.
Is just point blank ignoring me.
This has been going on for about a year. She maybe makes one full week a month.
I'm exhausted.has anyone any suggestions please? School aren't much help.

Dowser year 10 is 14/15, first year of GCSE courses (or even second of 4 if school does 3 year courses). You wouldn't usually consider changing schools at this time unless all other options have been exhausted.

@moglovesmincepies Has she ever been assessed for bipolar? I'd be finding a way to make that happen as an absolute priority. There is believed to be a strong genetic link, so her father having it increases her chances, and her behaviour sounds inline. My sister was diagnosed at 15, but we had a very similar experience with her behaviour regarding school before she was... some days she could do it, others she'd be back in bed and shouting, or getting violent.

Is there ever a time that she might be compliant with talking to someone? Or does her dad have a regular psychiatrist or crisis team that he could talk to about her, and see what they recommend?

Speak to the school Senco and visit your gp. I'd also atip pressurising here into going to school but explain her education is important so you'll start home schooling her in the meantime. I'd also speak to Senco and school about counciling

Stop not atip

I'll ask her dad but he is useless and I suspect is not compliant with medical services/has embellished his metal health as I've only had dds word that he now has been diagnosed and he is known to bullshit.

think a quiet chat tonight to see how it went then go from there.
Doesn't help that I'm full of a virus so everything feels worse at the moment as I've no energy.

Isolation went well.
She could do her work and concentrate.
Had to go back into normal lessons for art and science and got very stressed with the noise.
Is doing some more in there tomorrow then I'll have a chat with the year head.
Is quite perky tonight

Does the school have a 'red card' system to allow her to leave the classroom if feeling stressed?

Any chance some art can be done at lunchtimes or after school (which would also help with her not needing to get bus home)?

Sounds like you're doing great OP, well done for pushing on - thinking of you and DD

Just read the thread . You have moved forward a lot since first post well done to both of you.

I had 2 thought .... school refusal groups on fb can be helpful .

It may also be she actually can’t cope with school. My Ds has a card he can need class if necessary.

Also would she use online or phonecall support?

I need to have a meeting with school to see.
She attends on average 3 days a week. Which is a lot more than some, but that's a lot of missed gcse work which then puts pressure on her to catch up.
I can tell when she needs a day and she will sit and do all her homework and catch up and on those days I don't bother about it as we all get overloaded.
She wants to attend in some ways as she is booked on 2 school trips this year at her request. I just hope she can actually face going.

Hi, been reading but not commenting. Sounds so hard for you both. I hated school but am bright enough (just starting PhD now) but it was the social aspect that was so hard. Could it be mostly that? I ended up diagnosed with ASD as an adult. In some ways I wish I'd known as a child although the support wasn't available then. If there is a chance there is more to know about your daughter's mental or neurological state, I think it's worth pushing for. Self understanding alone can be a powerful help. Ignore me if what I'm saying isn't useful!

Also, one more thing, if she can get on with a couple of days work at home without too much intervention then she could learn online instead of going in. Home ed requires a lot less time than standard school I believe. I think that's already been mentioned though.

She's allowed to arrange herself which lessons she wants to be in isolation for. Year head has said see how she goes. So at the moment it's an open ended thing.
She's not enthusiastic in a morning, but happy and chatty when she comes home which means a good day.

Great update, sounds promising.

That sounds a massive step forward from where you were when you posted this