I feel so awful and lonely this Christmas. Not sure why I am posting really, maybe to see if anyone else is in the same boat and can share in what it feels like.
I have a DP but they work a lot. Love their job and spend most of their time at work, mainly out of choice.
My kids are with their dad now and we have shared care of them.
I don't have any friends at all. I did have one friend but they have distanced themselves a lot and I've only seen them three times this year. They have begun not really texting and the friendship is starting to fade away. This repeatedly happens to me and I dont have any long term friendships at all.
I had a neglected childhood and didn't learn how to form friendships so dont really have the skills to do it. I feel especially low because someone else I considered a friend this week made a comment that made me realise they aren't a friend at all.
My DP has lots of friends but is reluctant to allow me to meet with some of their friends, despite us being together for years and therefore making friends with their friends isn't really an option.
I have spent most of xmas alone. I saw my family for 2 hours- we are not close.
I am back at work next week but don't have any close friendships there either. Then there is new years day which will be spent alone.
I really am trying to make some friends. I go to meetup- even went to one today but train was delayed so got there too late and it had ended so that has made me feel even lower.
I am in counselling for this and I am trying to put myself out there as much as possible but I think I must come across as cold or rude because It never changes.
Does anyone else feel like this? I think xmas makes it so much worse when you see everyone else with friends and family.
edited by MNHQ at OP's request