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Original poster

Daughter sharing bed with father temporarily- thoughts

100 replies

Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:10

I broke my ankle a couple of months ago, when I first did it and was in pain and had to keep still I asked my 15 y.o DD if she minded sleeping in my king sized bed with her father and I would sleep in her bed as I was worried my leg would get hurt accidentally if I shared a bed.

We have a 2 bed house and the sofa is not comfortable at all for sleeping on.

I was in her bed for about 3 weeks (I had to have ankle operated on too, so was in pain). DD and DH had no problem sharing the bed- we have tv in our room, so Dd loved it actually!! They slept normally - no hugging or anything like that.
My mother and sister think it was inappropriate and a bit weird - my DH, DD or I don’t see a problem with it. They are very close and she is a daddy’s girl anyway.
I think suggesting it is weird could have undertones that there is something untoward going on and that is disgusting to think and in no way true - to be crystal clear no one in my family thinks my dh is a paedo and have zero reason for thinking that, they just think she is 15 and sharing a bed is odd.

Just interested to get General opinion on this.

My DH is Latin American and in his culture families are extremely close and warm and children are everything - a bit spoilt too as a way of parents showing love - so this is not weird at all for him.

Thoughts??
What if it was a mother and daughter or father and son sharing a bed - would that be weird??

OP posts:
Barneythedinosaur · 27/12/2019 13:12

Ive shared a bed with my father before as a teenager. As long as neither of them are bothered it's fine

PenelopeFlintstone · 27/12/2019 13:12

I think it’s fine. It’s not like it’s permanent.

Bluerussian · 27/12/2019 13:13

I'm sure it is absolutely fine, don't worry. Your daughter would soon sound off if there was a problem!

I slept in my son's super king sized bed with him when he was unwell and that was when he was adult. I am not going to molest him for goodness sakes, nor he me!

Hope you are feeling better.
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PuppyMonkey · 27/12/2019 13:13

I think at 15, I wouldn’t have liked to do that.

BlueCornsihPixie · 27/12/2019 13:17

It's a bit strange tbh. I was all ready to come on and say YWBU, thinking the DD would be 5, but 15 is a bit old to share with their dad

I am very close to my dad, happy to cuddle on the sofa etc. But I wouldn't share a bed now or as a teen.

I don't think it makes your DH a paedophile it's just a bit innappropriate

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 27/12/2019 13:19

Er, no. I'd have hated this at 15 and my own 13 year old would be horrified at the thought. I'm wondering if this post is real tbh.

ballsdeep · 27/12/2019 13:19

I don't think it's appropriate and I don't know why. I'm not suggesting anything is going on, but I just think at 15 it's too old.

Honeybee85 · 27/12/2019 13:22

I think many people these days think that everything is inappropriate. I think it rather says something about their suspicious minds then about an inconvenient situation that you as a family have found a pragmatic solution for.

BloodyCats · 27/12/2019 13:24

I used to sleep in my mums bed with her at that age and that never felt weird.

If your DD felt happy enough then I can’t see the problem.

fedup21 · 27/12/2019 13:24

Wouldn’t bother me at all.

Would it be inappropriate if it were your DH with a broken leg in her bed and you sharing the double with her?

GodolphianArabian · 27/12/2019 13:29

I think it's fine but not sure I would have wanted to mainly because my dad snores really loudly! Bed sharing is not part of our culture at all. I've been watching loads of Korean dramas and there bed sharing seems completely normal. One I watched an adult male snuggled up with his grandma in a single bed. Nothing untoward but not something you would ever hear of in our society. So as long as they were both ok about it I really wouldn't worry.

movingdilemma1234 · 27/12/2019 13:31

It's not appropriate for a teenage girl to share a bed with her father.
I think the main issue is the chance of her father getting an erection. Some years ago this was the answer given to this scenario by Social Services during in house child protection training

Original poster
Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:33

BlueRussian - You sounds like a lovely mother. I am on the mend. Physio next!

OP posts:
xmaself24 · 27/12/2019 13:35

I would never have done this at 15. It feels inappropriate to me.

BigusBumus · 27/12/2019 13:35

I've just been on holiday with my 13 year old son and we shared a super king size bed without any fuss.

chocolatefudgecake17 · 27/12/2019 13:36

I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't have agreed to that if I were her. I have a 15 year old sister and no way would she be comfortable either. Each to their own but I can see why your family think it's inappropriate.

Original poster
Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:37

It is real, I can assure you. My daughter was brought up partly in Spain (until 6), then in France for 18months, now in UK. I guess the influence of those cultures, plus my husband’s Colombian culture and his family’s influence have made her more Family-orientated than a fully raised, heritage British child. She is different to 100% British friends and more European I guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:38

Movingdilemma - unlikely. There was a pillow between them too, as my daughter likes to sleep with a pillow Hmm

OP posts:
AliMonkey · 27/12/2019 13:39

As a permanent arrangement I'd think it odd - although perfectly understandable in extreme poverty situation where only way they could both sleep in a bed. In the circumstances, perfectly reasonable as long as everyone happy with it.

81Byerley · 27/12/2019 13:40

I adored my Dad, but neither of us would have wanted to share a bed. I guess if they're happy about it there's no problem!

ballsdeep · 27/12/2019 13:40

In all fairness op, i don't think men can help when they get erections. Especially when sleeping.
Isn't there some sort of law which stops brothers and sisters sharing beds over a certain age? I'm not being goady I am generally interested.

Morgan12 · 27/12/2019 13:42

Well if my DS wants to sleep beside me when he is 15 I'd let him.

I don't see an issue at all.

Original poster
Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:42

Honeybee, I think you are right. I just never thought it inappropriate - they are very close, I was in pain, my daughter wasn’t forced to do it - she was happy to. My husband said it would be fine.
I think ppl are so suspicious nowadays - even with people they have known for decades. It would be different if it were a step father, but not a biological one.

TBH, I probably wouldn’t have shared a bed at that age, but I had a different dynamic with my father. I think each child and parent relationship is different.

OP posts:
TheReluctantCountess · 27/12/2019 13:43

I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. It’s something that would result in a cause for concern form being filled in at school.

Lifeisabeach09 · 27/12/2019 13:43

All families are different. This wouldn't bother me.
If I'm at my mum's, we'll sleep in the same bed. Would do the same with my dad if needed.