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Original poster

Daughter sharing bed with father temporarily- thoughts

100 replies

Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:10

I broke my ankle a couple of months ago, when I first did it and was in pain and had to keep still I asked my 15 y.o DD if she minded sleeping in my king sized bed with her father and I would sleep in her bed as I was worried my leg would get hurt accidentally if I shared a bed.

We have a 2 bed house and the sofa is not comfortable at all for sleeping on.

I was in her bed for about 3 weeks (I had to have ankle operated on too, so was in pain). DD and DH had no problem sharing the bed- we have tv in our room, so Dd loved it actually!! They slept normally - no hugging or anything like that.
My mother and sister think it was inappropriate and a bit weird - my DH, DD or I don’t see a problem with it. They are very close and she is a daddy’s girl anyway.
I think suggesting it is weird could have undertones that there is something untoward going on and that is disgusting to think and in no way true - to be crystal clear no one in my family thinks my dh is a paedo and have zero reason for thinking that, they just think she is 15 and sharing a bed is odd.

Just interested to get General opinion on this.

My DH is Latin American and in his culture families are extremely close and warm and children are everything - a bit spoilt too as a way of parents showing love - so this is not weird at all for him.

Thoughts??
What if it was a mother and daughter or father and son sharing a bed - would that be weird??

OP posts:
MrMeSeeks · 27/12/2019 13:43

If your dd is fine with it then theres no issue.

TheReluctantCountess · 27/12/2019 13:44

It is really interesting to see how varied opinions are on this - families are all different.

peachypetite · 27/12/2019 13:44

Why are you posting to get opinions if you don’t see a problem with it

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Rockbird · 27/12/2019 13:46

Surely the key is that your dd is happy with the arrangement. It's nothing to do with anyone else. At 15 she is well old enough to know her own mind and I'm pretty sure she would have raised objections if she didn't like the idea.

mummypigx · 27/12/2019 13:46

It's fine! It's only for a couple of weeks isn't it? No issue. Unless either were totally against it.

VanyaHargreeves · 27/12/2019 13:47

0-7 fine

FIFTEEN - not right Confused

GetawayfromthatWelshtart · 27/12/2019 13:47

Don't see an issue at all.

Why do so many people "project" their sexual fears on something like this?

Not everything is about sex or sexual feelings.

The average Father will have zero sexual feelings for his children just like the average Mother will have zero sexual feelings about her children.

Adult males do not go around getting erections willy nilly (pardon the pun). They aren't 13.
An adult male may get an erection in the morning because he needs to pee, welcome to the world of willies. shrugs Most men can hide this very well if need be as do duvets and bedwear.

People need sleep.

People sleep in beds.

Mum had to sleep in daughters bed because of her injury.
DD was happy to sleep in same bed as her DAD because the bed was huge and there was a telly.

They went to sleep and got up the next morning. Shocker!

I think it's lovely your daughter was happy to do this and has a close bond with her dad.

Original poster
Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:47

AliMonkey - your reply reminded me that I have a friend, who when divorcing shared a double bed with her daughter for 2 years at her mothers small flat. I guess same se sharing is not an issue, and really she had no choice!!

OP posts:
TheQueef · 27/12/2019 13:47

It's not a regular occurrence it's a temporary work around, doubt SS would even have an opinion.

I don't think it's inappropriate, I've shared a bed with my DDad(76) when I'm ill and he's worried about me choking on sick.
It's a practical solution.

Nightflower · 27/12/2019 13:47

I don't see anything wrong with it. I have a friend coming to visit and she sleeps with her son on the guest bed. We have a sofa in the same room but it's just too small for anyone to have a decent sleep on it
My mom been sleeping in the same bed with my brother ( who was well in his 20s) when we went for a holiday.
I think depends on the circumstances. If you don't have an extra bed what are you going to go -sleep on the floor? As long as it's not a problem for DC I don't see how ot can be a problem for someone else. It was temp it's not like it's the normal arrangement.
Also not to long ago ( and in some cultures or poorer families) the whole family sleeeps in the same room from babies to grandparents

sameasiteverwasantiques · 27/12/2019 13:48

I wouldn't let my daughter when she's 15 share a bed with her father. Why doesn't your daughter have a tv in her room at 15?

sandybanana · 27/12/2019 13:50

I wouldn't like it. Not at all.

Selene28 · 27/12/2019 13:50

I think the main issue is the chance of her father getting an erection. Some years ago this was the answer given to this scenario by Social Services during in house child protection training

This would never happen unless dad was a paedophile.

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 27/12/2019 13:50

I don't think it's appropriate. Dh would rather sleep on a floor for weeks than share a bed with DD.

Can't you buy a blow up bed?

Concestor · 27/12/2019 13:51

I don't see an issue as long as they were both fine with it. Sharing a bed isn't a sexual thing.

Original poster
Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:51

Peachypetite I posted to see what the general consensus was really. My husband, daughter and I didn’t see a problem so we’re quite surprised that others did, therefore just thought I’d see what the general view was. I am interested in culture and society as a whole I guess.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 27/12/2019 13:52

It's inappropriate imo...not suggesting anything untoward is going on, it just doesn't sit right with me. It also seems a rather weak reason..you're ankle might get hurt Confused I'm sure there would have been plenty of other solutions.

movingdilemma1234 · 27/12/2019 13:52

I think you are being foolish and if this is mentioned at school is very likely to become a safe guarding referral. I would have made a referral if I had been given this information
It's nothing to do with what a great relationship they have etc etc. How do you think your husband would feel if he got an erection and your daughter saw? How would your daughter feel?

I'm actually sceptical this is real now tbh

Butterflyflower1234 · 27/12/2019 13:52

I personally find this very odd. I adore my Dad but there's no way I'd share a bed with him.

Can you imagine if DD friends or people at school found out, she would be bullied for sure.

I think you should be sleeping with your DH, not your DD.

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 27/12/2019 13:52

Most men do get involuntary erections in the morning Selene28 .

BahBloodyHumbug · 27/12/2019 13:53

I don't think its inappropriate in this case, but I would have hated it as a teenager.
That said, as long as they are both happy to share, it's fine.

Why doesn't your daughter have a tv in her room at 15?
It's not actually necessary to own a TV at all, you know. Let alone in a bedroom.

Original poster
Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 13:54

GetawayfromthatWelshtart Loved your reply - especially about the huge bed and telly - that’s exactly why she was happy to do it!! She didn’t want to go back to her own bed as she we don’t allow technology in her room - GCSEs coming up, so definitely no phone in the room at night!

OP posts:
PlasticPatty · 27/12/2019 13:55

Bollocks.
Don't put your teenager in bed with her dad. It violates her moral right to privacy. Young adults do not usually bed share with their parents.

BahBloodyHumbug · 27/12/2019 13:56

Don't put your teenager in bed with her dad. It violates her moral right to privacy. Young adults do not usually bed share with their parents.
Not in this country in this era, no. But in past times and in other countries, they live and sleep in one room. How do you think large families in slums and war zones live?

Kinsters · 27/12/2019 13:56

I 100% would not share a bed with my dad, but that's because he's him and I'm me. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with a girl sharing a bed with her father as long as she's ok with it.