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Original poster

Most boring family Christmas conversation competition

289 replies

GinNsnowmen · 26/12/2019 16:48

So far this Christmas break we have had how the woman across the road keeps her bins to the SIDE of her path at the driveway and a long extended discussion about the pros and cons of bin positioning. Apparently "we just don't know what she gets up to" is a comment that was appropriate in that conversation. I'm not sure what my neighbours think about my bin position?!!

High drama of the day has been when an unknown car parked perfectly legally near the house. This prompted lots of walking back and forwards at windows and some fake retrieval of stuff from our cars to nosey. Can anyone compete with that level of drama? A friend suggested we log it with 101.

(And as it seems necessary to say this these days this is lighthearted. I love my family but in large doses they are exhausting and this is just some light relief to keep me smiling politely.)

OP posts:
MyFavouritePlace · 28/12/2019 10:35

My niece commenting on her cousin's ex wife's dental work!!

sueelleker · 28/12/2019 10:42

People do use a lot of sellotape these days.
My sister always has-you have to tear the paper to get into the present; there's no way on earth you'll get the flaps or seams open.

S0upertrooper · 28/12/2019 10:56

I've just wet myself laughing at this thread! It was just DH and I this Christmas for the first time.

ConnorRipley · 28/12/2019 11:39

But why is this thread so interesting when the conversations were so boring? It’s one of those mysteries of the universe Confused

Bunnybigears · 28/12/2019 13:08

But why is this thread so interesting when the conversations were so boring? It’s one of those mysteries of the universe

Because we just get a synopsis where as the actual story lasts eleventy thousand hours!

Dementedmagpie · 28/12/2019 13:08

This thread is pure gold! We don't do Christmas but being a Jewish family my sister and I have had many laughs over convoluted introductions that end in a total anti climax- along the lines of: 'You know Maureen? Maureen with the hair? Her brother moved to Haifa with that girl from Ilford? That was Richard, lovely man, son married a Chinese girl, very pretty, and his daughter is a doctor at the Royal Free, oncology. Other son was awful, awful, sells beachwear. Anyway, her, I saw her buying a scarf in Fenwicks'

😂😂😂 this reminds me of MIL!!

cptartapp · 28/12/2019 13:11

Someone had wrapped a present in glittery paper which proceeded to get on everyone's trousers. Oh how we laughed. Everyone commenting on it in turn as the gift got passed round. How amusing it was. And on and on and on. Ten minutes or more about the damned glitter. Filling the awkward gaps in conversation Confused

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 28/12/2019 13:17

My mum works in a bank, Christmas eve convo was a description of every customer that walked in - and the conversation between them including her doing their voices. " doing the voices " is a pet hate of mine! There is no need for it and it makes me cringe!
She can't say " Mrs McDonald gave me a tin of roses and wished me merry Christmas " ... She has to relay the conversation word for word in a bad Scottish accent

birdsarecute45 · 28/12/2019 13:49

One year we had FIL holding forth at considerable length about a friend of his who must be so disappointed because son 1 only went to Durham university when their daughter went to Cambridge.

DH went to Durham. His detested golden child brother went to Cambridge.

That was fun.

Cocolapew · 28/12/2019 14:17

Tbh we were a bit boring this year. MIL had given scratchcards for presents and DD2 was scratching them all.
We had a conversation about what she would do if she won. The correct response was "give it to you to pay off the mortgage".
Not "I'll buy a new iphone and boyfriend a new car and go on holiday".
It got a bit heated.

Purplequalitystreet · 28/12/2019 14:21

Trying to explain to my grandmother why my baby won't call her Great Great Aunty Margaret. I gave up in the end...

RuudGullitOnAShed · 28/12/2019 14:46

Details of every pothole between my house and our guests home (about 9 apparently pot hole riddled miles) - position on the journey and in the road, depth, width and speculation as to what would happen if a road bike, mountain bike or motor bike was to drive into each one at speed.

Followed by general potholes they have encountered this year discussion.

blackwych · 28/12/2019 15:10

MIL reminiscing for the 50th time about how her children all got chicken pox one after the other! I realised that when she first told me this story 30 years ago she must have been younger than I am now.

iklboo · 28/12/2019 15:15

FIL waxing lyrical about how great Santander are paying 3% interest on accounts with £20,000+ in. We don't have anything like that amount of spare money.

VanGoghsDog · 28/12/2019 15:49

@iklboo

He might want to check that, it's been reduced 😃

iklboo · 28/12/2019 16:06

@VanGoghsDog - ha!! Brilliant.

Miljea · 28/12/2019 16:47

My Australian BIL and SIL, quite 'rural', shall we say- the phone conversation on Christmas Day is a forensic run down of every morsel of food that has crossed their lips that day... Grin

But it is nice of them to ring.

AdoptedBumpkin · 28/12/2019 17:00

The potholes one is one that crops up a lot locally. Not just at Christmas Grin

RuudGullitOnAShed · 28/12/2019 17:09

The worrying thing about the pothole saga was how DH joined in wholeheartedly and appeared to enjoy it - and to make matters worse our car journey into town today was spent with him giving live commentary on said potholes.

Notwiththeseknees · 28/12/2019 17:12

Location of all the toilets that can be used by the public in Bath. The croissant routine involving Patisserie Valerie & the freezer...

Miljea · 28/12/2019 17:27

iklboo! Tell me more about the Santander account! Grin - nah, interest rate is as rubbish with that as with all others.

Now, did I tell you about the time...?

Probably.

heidipi · 28/12/2019 17:29

This thread is superb, I need to re-read before Xmas next year to remind myself I'm not alone Grin

IHaveBrilloHair · 28/12/2019 17:30

Dd18 has just left after two days, I'm sure she's now on an equivalent site saying,
"FFS, my mother, I love her but by God would she stop feeding me:
Dd would you like a biscuit, some prawns, an avocado, crisps, ooh, those yoghurts you liked when you were 7, I got you some.
How about Pate, or cheese × 12 types, I'll cook you a meal, what would you like?
Pasta maybe?
Oh you know I got these rosemary crackers...

Would I be unreasonable to kill my mother to death with bloody rosemary crackers and yoghurts I haven't liked since I was 7?

She loves being fed really I'm sure Grin

Notsure94 · 28/12/2019 17:34

Yes the whole "you like that don't you" when presented with a random food object (roule cheese) and then protracted debate about where they got this idea from, me having no recollection of expressing any strong feelings and being largely ambivalent about roule cheese and being told I was wrong I did love roule cheese and they'd got it in specially!

WooMaWang · 28/12/2019 17:38

I got the usual extremely dull tales of ordinary happening in the lives of people I don't know from my mum.

'Oh Brenda got some new tea cups. You know Brenda. You went to toddlers with her son Martin'. I've never got any idea who any of the people are.

Plus also and account of how my stepdad's sister has had her kitchen redone and totally copied my mum's. You'd think my mum's kitchen was anything other than totally standard. She's totally affirmed that Sandra has got a hot water tap too.

And the low point of tales about people they met on a cruise. I just don't care about mark and Pauline, even if he was a dentist. 😂