Why are you awake?

[fligglepige]

It is 4am. Why are you reading this?

I haven't been to bed. Fell asleep with the kids at bedtime for a few hours and now I'm not tired. I'll be wrecked tomorrow

Turkey and the beef needs cooked as well as the little piggies in blankets! Woke up choking for air thinking I had no oil (I do, but not the one I wanted) also fretting as just checked and there’s no bloody cooking instructions, weight, or any help at all. I normally do just wing it but I’m out of my depth here unfortunately!

Still need to wrap my nephews and mums presents also. Dogs also very hormonal so won’t stop having a little whinge whilst I douse myself in caffeine. Harry Potter is on - thank goodness.

So much to do. So little time.

Merry Christmas All! Have a fab day! Can’t wait to crack open the Bolly!

And thanks @dayz

94 for lunch!!! That puts things in perspective...

Getting ready for work

Just got in the car with lo and dp said he will be leaving work late, so back to the house to wait - hoping lo goes back to sleep for a bit

Woke up at half five as staying in a strange house and the bed is not nearly as comfortable or big as ours at home.

Gonna be a long day ugh

Because some selfish pricks decided to set off fireworks at 12.30 waking us all up. Having done the impossible and got my kids to sleep at a normal time, my eldest woke up with such a fright that he became hugely distressed and has barely slept since and nor have we.

Red wine insomnia and heartburn. Today is going to be a total shitshow. Wish we weren’t hosting.

Been up for half an hour as I needed a wee. Thought I'd prep the turkey and make a hot chocolate whilst I'm up. Just waiting for the heating to warm the lounge up.

Might go back to bed in a bit as I'm feeling grotty with a cough and cold.

Good morning and merry Christmas! Enjoy all your small people and have a magical day, you'll no doubt sleep far better tonight than last!! 🎄🍾🎉

Take care Tiger and will look forward in the new year to hear your news!

I just remembered I hadn't taken the elf away

Thank goodness I just read this @Juanbablo I hadn't either

I first woke at 2ish and ever since then my mind has been majorly churning stuff over. This has been my first Christmas Eve on my own for years and years. My children are with my ex, their dad. This is the first time.
I’ve been keeping a lid on my emotions for months now but somehow it feels like I can’t anymore. But I have to. I need to.
My ex said I’m welcome to go over to his anytime today. I’ve said I’ll go before lunch. I don’t really want to be in his company at all. He’s been slagging me off this week. Of course I want to see the kids and am hoping they’ll come back with me later. What is causing me worry now is that he’ll have bought them a massive pile of presents which will dwarf my own efforts.

I’ve saved up all year to get their presents. My children will be happy to open them and will be grateful and I should just focus on that. The reality is however is that I feel it’s all so unjust. He earning capacity is so much higher than mine, he hasn’t paid adequate child support, he lies and is also prepared to get into debt . I know my face is going to drop when I see what he’s got them later. I want to be pleased but seriously I’ve been buying all the clothes for them this winter....

On the top of the material stuff, I just feel a huge welling of resentment. Despite our separation I still have to tip toe around him and walk on eggshells due to his depression.
I get depressed too but with mine I tend to feel hopeless and worthless about myself - with a lot of blame.
His depression tends to focus on his sense of feeling excluded and how he perceives others leaving him out.
Urgh, I have had so little sleep. In the run up to this i told myself that I’d be ok with all of this but the truth is that I’m majorly struggling and don’t know how I’m going to get through the day .
Thanks for starting the thread and giving me an opportunity to say how I feel.
I really feel today especially I cannot call on friends as I just want them to enjoy their day with their own families.

Earache and sneezing

DH woke me to ask if I could hear 2 owls fighting outside.

I drank a glass of wine and have terrible stomach ache. I drink about 2 glasses a year, and it's always the same. I don't know why I do it.

Had about 5 hours, just taken some passiflora..hoping after a little read yo get back to sleep again

Alone this year. Can't sleep.

Because the damn dog woke up for all of a minute at 5am and I can't get back to sleep. I've had 2 and a half hours sleep.

I’ve been wide awake since 5.10 due to pain which I can’t seem to get under control this morning; my sleep tracker suggests I’ve had around 3hrs and 48mins of sleep

I’m fretting a bit about how I’m going to cope with my pain levels, the ensuing irritability, and having my mother who drives both DH and I up the walk staying with us for a few days.

Ha @Selfcarequeereyestyle snap!

My arsehole children woke at 3.30 to open their stockings! I have told them we will not be going downstairs until 6am at the earliest and they are trying to be quiet but I can’t get back to sleep. I didn’t fall asleep until12.30 so I am ruined.

My 8,10,12 yo DC woke up just before 4 😳😳😳 I didn't expect them so early. They were sent back x 3 but I conceded at 545. I've blearily looked at Santa presents & oohed & aahed. I'm hoping to get another hour, I'm in bits with sinus / face pain 😩

SunnyHens

Have a hot chocolate.

I know it is difficult but just be glad your children are getting presents. Go round and have a glass of wine and enjoy them enjoying their present.

Cats woke me up. They are both happily snoozing now they've had food, I'm wide awake. Will grab a cup of tea soon and plan a nice breakfast.

Awake since 4:39am. Sleep & me are not buddies.

@tigerjoy and @vanityscare

I've been awake pretty much all night. Finished wrapping at 1pm , decided to sleep on sofa because I have a really bad cold and couldn't deal with DH snoring. But I've barely slept seen every single hour and feel awful!
Kids will be up in half hour after dinner I'm going for a lie down!
Last year I was on awful antibiotics and couldn't drink and this year I was looking forward to the wine and beers and just don't feel like it! And I have no appetite 😩