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Original poster

Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

392 replies

ShakinScarecrow · 08/12/2019 21:51

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

OP posts:
Ttcbabybennett · 09/12/2019 11:08

It was 60 SECONDS people!!! Is that all the time it takes to allow a member of staff to ignore his training that falls under not just customer services but sexual harassment mandatory training?!?! Would you feel the same if it was you or DD?? Jesus. The reason he went in there was to check for stragglers and tell them to leave! So he expected people to potentially be in there and he did not announce himself!!! Absolutely inappropriate I'd have been devastated!!
Good luck with speaking to the manager op

BrainFart · 09/12/2019 11:12

Rhinoskinhavel

Do you enjoy exaggerating things ? Or is it purely accidental ?

There is nothing to suggest she was ambushed. There is no reason to suspect he planned it. He didn't linger or pass any sort of comment on her appearance. There is no reason to suspect it was done as a punishment.

What in the OPs description of events fulfills the criteria of an ambush ?

YouSawThePlans · 09/12/2019 11:16

Nowhere does it say he went in to check for stragglers. He probably went in to speak to the cleaning staff.

kierenthecommunity · 09/12/2019 11:22

Why are you shocked that another woman may react different to you to a peeping Tom? You lack empathy

Again, agreed. None of us know the OPs personality type, anxiety threshold, mental state, or past life experience. Or even what type of day SHE had been having, seeing as it’s ok to excuse HIS for a bad experience earlier on.

Any of this could provoke a tearful reaction in one person where another may shrug it off or react angrily.

RhinoskinhaveI · 09/12/2019 11:23

Of course he didn't linger or make a comment... he's got some sense of what he can and can't get away with
This is the modus operandi of a peeping tom and if you post your review online others will come forward OP

friedbeansandcheese · 09/12/2019 11:34

Was this the first time you'd been late out? Sounds like there's a problem with people leaving late and the employee was just fed up of it.

Why did you have to be asked to leave pool, and why did it take 15 mins to shower?

But he should certainly have knocked first/just shouted round the door, and it would have been better to ask a female staff member to check women's changing rooms.

BarbaraStrozzi · 09/12/2019 11:54

The employee was clearly totally in the wrong - if you are going into a single sex area as a member of the opposite in the context of your job - you knock on the door, shout out to ask if everyone is decent, send a female (male as appropriate) colleague in there.

This is what they do in the gym I belong to. It's what any reasonable person would do.

The fact that he didn't makes him an insensitive git at best and a creepy fucker at worst. The fact that he then shouted at OP and threatened to revoke her membership makes him totally unsuited to work in a service industry.

(And I say that as someone who has worked in a service industry and knows how annoying it is when someone hangs around past closing time - it still doesn't excuse what this man does.)

I'm also gobsmacked that there are so many women on here desperately keen to side with a man, any man, regardless of his behaviour.

MarshaBradyo · 09/12/2019 11:57

I wouldn’t have expected a man to come in at any time when I used to go to my nice gym. During open hours that is. I was never there late enough to know how they dealt with closing.

dontalltalkatonce · 09/12/2019 12:27

He was an arsehole, but as it's a family owned gym if he's family I doubt complaining about him will get you anywhere.

You need to find another gym with longer hours as it appears 8pm is too early for you to be finished.

BrainFart · 09/12/2019 12:27

I'm also gobsmacked that there are so many women on here desperately keen to side with a man, any man, regardless of his behaviour

Because the first rule of the sisterhood is to always side with the woman. No matter what. Heaven forbid you think for yourself and come to a different conclusion.

BarbaraStrozzi · 09/12/2019 12:44

Actually, I'm the first one to admit that women can be unsisterly, and oppose "choice" feminism (the "any choice made by a woman is automatically feminist because it was made by a woman" bastardisation of feminism).

But seriously, not to be able to see that there's a whole lot wrong about a man just waltzing in unannounced to an open-plan women's changing room where he knows damn fine that there are likely to be women naked? There's no way any sane woman should be justifying that.

BrainFart · 09/12/2019 12:58

Or it could be framed as an employee coming into a part of the company premises where no customer should be, after hours. So, in fact, there weren't likely to be women naked, as the only women there should have been the cleaners. And leaving straightaway once he realised that wasn't the case ?

BrainFart · 09/12/2019 12:59

edit: to clarify that the customer shouldn't be there after hours, not shouldn't be there at any time.

kierenthecommunity · 09/12/2019 13:11

Or it could be framed as an employee coming into a part of the company premises where no customer should be, after hours

The customer shouldn’t be there three minutes after closing? It’s not like they’d turned all the lights off and brought the shutters down.

BrainFart · 09/12/2019 13:15

The customer shouldn’t be there three minutes after closing?

Yeah. It's not that hard to be considerate, and remember that the whole world doesn't revolve around you. If you take ages in the shower and getting dressed, then you get out earlier.

Just in case I am mistaken for defending the guy staunchly - he should have knocked, should have apologised, and the OP should complain so that he has an official reprimand on his record in case this is the start of a pattern, or fired if it is not the first time. But from everything that has been reported, it sounds like he has made a mistake, rather than gone out to harass / humiliate the OP.

LolaSmiles · 09/12/2019 13:23

brainfart you're spot on
Had he waltzed in without knocking in the middle of the day, he'd be a dick. But it's not unreasonable to expect a gym to be empty after closing time.

Sadly bring butt naked at closing time is part and parcel of an attitude that closing times don't matter (see people saying yes but it was only...). It's an attitude where people don't leave shops on time, or parents complain they've been charged late pick up from nursery because it was only 5mins etc.

His rudeness us worth raising. Calling him a peeping tom and acting like he's some predator for expecting no customers once the gym is closed and saying "but it's only a few minutes etc" are unreasonable

RachelEllenR · 09/12/2019 13:24

YANBU. I worked at a leisure centre for quite a few years. We always knocked loudly and checked before entering the opposite sex's changing room for cleaning. And people always were leaving a few minutes after closing and nobody got annoyed by it - we just cleaned the empty areas first. It just didn't register as something to get worked up about.

Threatening to cancel membership - I'd take them up on it and go elsewhere.

rwalker · 09/12/2019 13:26

Leave a negative review but don"t forget to say you were in the building after closing time.
Prefect assumption that it should be empty.
As a male this happens all the time in gyms and toilets female staff just walk in . The other week at a motorway service station guys in there at urinals and woman cleaner walk in and starts cleaning literally 6 foot from guy having a piss.

MinervaSaidThat · 09/12/2019 13:27

YANBU. I worked at a leisure centre for quite a few years. We always knocked loudly and checked before entering the opposite sex's changing room for cleaning. And people always were leaving a few minutes after closing and nobody got annoyed by it - we just cleaned the empty areas first. It just didn't register as something to get worked up about.

This is the normal, reasonable response. Sad that people can’t see that.

kierenthecommunity · 09/12/2019 13:29

I’m not saying he’s unreasonable wanting people to be considerate enough to be out on time. Just unreasonable to take it for granted. It’s just using your brain surely? He must have been aware there were still customers milling about

kierenthecommunity · 09/12/2019 13:32

I also think it’s worth reporting mainly so they can review their policies and procedures. If they want people out to the second maybe they should invest in a tannoy and make some supermarket style announcements

CareOfPunts · 09/12/2019 13:38

Unless he’s about as bright as a 40 watt bulb it wouldn’t take a genius to have worked out that given there were people in the gym quite a short time frame before closing, that they’d still be within the premises at 8.01. Unless they levitated our the building via the roof and not past his desk on their way out?

thunderandsunshine01 · 09/12/2019 13:42

Sorry but it's not like you were 15 mins over leaving time. You were 1 minute over! 1?!

Completely unacceptable to walk into an open plan changing facility without doing a courtesy knock 'just in case'

Then in addition to not apologize for walking in, and threatening to cancel a membership for running a total of 3 minutes over, they are not going to make much business doing that, I'd be telling him to go ahead!

Report it to management. (But) like some others have said, maybe consider leaving the pool a little earlier if you would like to take a shower afterwards. This by no means makes what he did or how he acted acceptable though

Polydactyly · 09/12/2019 13:47

Yanbu,
A friend works at a gym and there was an employee there for years getting away with doing this sort of thing because nobody reported him to management they just stopped turning up.
Speak up on behalf of yourself and everyone else who has to suffer him like my friend did with her bellend of a colleague and give management the ammo they need to get him gone.
Bad mood or not, late or not, if any of my colleagues or employees shouted at customers saying they'd cancel their memberships I'd flip! None of you were being abusive to him to there was no need for anyone to do the same to the customers in at the time.

AppropriateAdult · 09/12/2019 13:48

I’m bemused that so many posters here have so little experience of gyms/shops/any building open to the public that they honestly think the OP committed some terrible faux pas by still being in the changing room one minute after the official closing time. I have never either worked or been a customer in any business that would actually threaten to cancel a patron’s membership for this non-event; there’s always a few minutes grace for the staff to clear the place. The guy was clearly completely out of order, for this as well as his unannounced entry into the women’s changing room, and a complaint should be put in.