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Original poster

Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

392 replies

ShakinScarecrow · 08/12/2019 21:51

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 09/12/2019 10:31

I doubt he was identifying as female

In general people should be aware that being late is not on for the staff who have finished work

But the gym should have better procedures in place

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 09/12/2019 10:32

And yes, this case has nothing to do with self ID, but as Christmas keeps throwing it in and people seem baffled rather than enlightened by those comments I figured someone should attempt to clarify.

YouSawThePlans · 09/12/2019 10:33

Nowhere does the OP say he shouted at her or threatened her ... unless posters are meaning that it was a threat that she'd lose her gym membership because she stayed after closing time? That isn't a threat if it's company policy.

2kids1mummy · 09/12/2019 10:34

Prodigalkittens yes, was appropriate, and correct Smile

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 09/12/2019 10:35

There's no indication that it is company policy. A cleaner semi apologized to the OP for his rant with the explanation that he was in a bad mood. Which he should not be taking out on customers.

differentnameforthis · 09/12/2019 10:35

Most of what I see here is apologists for men displaying creepy behaviour, with some even calling in to question his gender in order to do it and to further insinuate that the op is a bigot.

I don't think there is any bigotry in saying this male was wrong.

MinervaSaidThat · 09/12/2019 10:36

The onus is on OP the woman to moderate her behaviour (I.e. by not daring to be a minute late) not the male.

differentnameforthis · 09/12/2019 10:37

@2kids1mummy Whatever it was, he just wanted to lock up and leave work

That wasn't going to happen the second op left though, was it? The cleaners were in!

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 09/12/2019 10:38

I'm now wondering if there's some part of the country where terrible customer service is the norm. I can't think of any business near me where you wouldn't get sacked for talking to customers like that.

happycamper11 · 09/12/2019 10:38

He should have checked BUT it should be a safe assumption to make that there will not be naked ladies in a changing room at 8.01 when the premises closes at 8.

RhinoskinhaveI · 09/12/2019 10:39

I agree that this 'peeping Tom' is probably a family member who knows he can get away with it because they won't sack him

yasle · 09/12/2019 10:39

You can complain to the owner but I doubt the owner will be cross with a male employee for entering a female changing room after closing time. You might find the owner gives you a strike/warning for being on the premises after closing time.

LolaSmiles · 09/12/2019 10:40

Unfortunately I would imagine (given the OP had been late multiple times at gyms by their own admission, and another gym user was also just leaving the changing rooms after it closed) that gym staff must regularly encounter gym goers who think the closing times are optional, they'll just take their time, it's only a few minutes, I'll just sort my things out, etc.

He may well have been rude and abrupt (and had probably now realised he should routinely call through in case someone doesn't fancy leaving on time), but in my experience people who get annoyed and claim they've been embarrassed etc by being told to leave places on time are also people who dramatise a little and downplay their own inconsiderate behaviour.
E.g. claiming to have been shouted at Vs a member of staff had to use a louder voice to call from outside the changing rooms because someone was butt naked in there at closing time earlier (so a normal volume level wouldn't have carried).

2kids1mummy · 09/12/2019 10:45

@differentnameforthis yes your right, I was being dramatic, I meant maybe if he is just gym floor staff, he would be allowed to leave after all Customers had left.

RhinoskinhaveI · 09/12/2019 10:49

This man has exploited the ambiguity of the situation in order to perv on a woman and make her feel uncomfortable and humiliated
Assuming that is his modus operandi he will have done it before and if you post a review online others may come forward... then again the review may get taken down in order to suppress the story

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 09/12/2019 10:51

But it doesn't mean the employee deliberately set out to make her feel that way or that he acted any differently than he does every other night after closing.

He certainly could have foreseen what effect his behaviour would have on a naked woman, alone in a shower room. So while he might not have set out to do it deliberately it was very much foreseeable.

MinervaSaidThat · 09/12/2019 10:53

Giving members 15 minutes to get showered and change is unreasonable.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 09/12/2019 10:53

Also, while OP was in the pool and showering she would not have worn her watch. It’s easy to lose track of few minutes.

Cacklingmags · 09/12/2019 10:54

This man is a total fucking creep. I would report this to the police, fucking pervert knew full well what he was doing. As for threatening to cancel your membership - I would never go near the place again and advise all friends to do the same.

BlaueLagune · 09/12/2019 10:54

I'm more shocked that you sat in your car and cried just because a man walked in on you naked. Are you really that sensitive

I was thinking exactly the same. I'd be angry, not tearful!

BrainFart · 09/12/2019 10:58

'peeping Tom'
This man has exploited the ambiguity of the situation in order to perv on a woman and make her feel uncomfortable and humiliated
Assuming that is his modus operandi he will have done it before

Jesus, want to project / extrapolate much ?

The OP gave no indication he did anything other than enter, then turn on his heels and leave when he realised there was a naked woman in there.

I would bet dollars-to-doughnuts he was still seething from the apparent dressing down he had just received from another customer ("son-of-a-bitch, who does he think is talking me like that, I'll get the bastard") and thus wasn't paying much attention to anything at all and just walked into the ladies changing rooms, rather than purposely going in to make an imprint of OPs naked form for later pleasure.

The OP should complain. He deserves a formal reprimand, and a reminder for all employees to knock when entering changing rooms. Unless this isn't the first time (which nobody on the thread knows, but that hasn't stopped them from assuming the worst and throwing all manner of hyperbole around), in which case the management should already know and fire him.

MinervaSaidThat · 09/12/2019 11:00

@BlaueLagune

I'm more shocked that you sat in your car and cried just because a man walked in on you naked. Are you really that sensitive

I was thinking exactly the same. I'd be angry, not tearful!

Why are you shocked that another woman may react different to you to a peeping Tom? You lack empathy.

SlothMama · 09/12/2019 11:03

The guy was totally out of order and should be reported, however you are also in the wrong. If the gym shuts at 8 you should have left before 8, it's unfair on the staff to have stragglers.

RhinoskinhaveI · 09/12/2019 11:03

Any decent person who accidentally 'ambushed' someone while they were naked would apologise profusely and recognise how uncomfortable it was for the naked person

RhinoskinhaveI · 09/12/2019 11:05

The fact that she was in the wrong by being in the changing rooms after closing time does not in any way mitigate his behaviour
Those that think it does, are you suggesting that being ambushed while naked is a justifiable punishment for taking too long to get changed after swimming?