Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

[ShakinScarecrow]

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

Doesn't matter if it's five to eight or five past. A man walking into an open plan women's changing room without warning is totally unacceptable. No excuses.

I would be very surprised if this wasn't part of this man's evening routine. I guess some nights he nabs a naked woman, other nights the well's dry.

My life experience has made me pretty sceptical of the behaviour of some types of men. The addition of his reading a lecture and threatening the OP with loss of membership strikes me as a form of sadism.

Doesn't matter if it's five to eight or five past. A man walking into an open plan women's changing room without warning is totally unacceptable. No excuses
And I would agree with you... If both those times were within gym opening hours.

Out of hours there shouldn't be anyone in the changing rooms so it doesn't matter one jot who walks in and when because the place is closed and supposed to be empty. Any member of staff, of any sex, should be able to talk wherever after somewhere is closed with the reasonable expectation that there are no customers because the place is closed.

Our Morrisons closes at 10pm. They let people in up until 10pm. This means that there may still be people in the shop at 10pm going through the toll and just exiting the shop. OK the shop is “closed” in that the facility can no longer be used by customers to buy goods but it’s not realistic to expect the whole place to be empty of customers at 10 on the dot. It was the same when I worked in shops as a student. Why is this gym any different? OK it was “closed” but given there were people using the facility up until the designated closing time, anyone with half a brain would have been able to deduce there may still have been people inside.

Don’t really see the big deal if it’s a man or a woman seeing you naked.

Well you feel free to wander around in the nude then. You’re not the arbiter of how other people are entitled to feel.

Lola..but the place wasn’t closed
That’s the point.

It was closed at 8pm the op was there after opening hours.

I bet it’s a rare occurrence, someone might be walking out at 8 probably but still standing there after a long shower I doubt it.

The gym was closed. The op says that he had confronted another customer as she left the changing room for being late just before he walked into the changing room. Is it that he thought that woman was the last customer to leave and didn't know that anyone else was on the premises, especially as op had been out of the pool for more than 15 minutes at that point?

You can't expect him to be knocking on every door and then waiting to see if it's ok to go in once the gym is closed can you? How long is he expected to wait for a reply before deciding that the place is empty and it's ok to go in? The op might have still been in the shower and not heard him knock so he could have taken that as the changing room being empty and still walked in.

It's difficult to say that he was wrong because the gym was closed. It's reasonable to think that after hours staff should be able to go into all areas to do whatever jobs need doing. What's not clear is if he knew that a customer was still in the changing room.

I still can't get my head around the fact the op spent more than 15 minutes in the shower. What on earth were you doing, given that you knew the gym was about to close?

The OP should have enough courtesy and respect for other people to plan her swim so that she can leave the building on time without inconveniencing the staff at the gym.

The male employee should have enough courtesy and respect for other people not to walk into the female changing rooms unannounced and then return to harangue the OP.

I don't see why both these statements can't be true.

The male employee should have enough courtesy and respect for other people not to walk into the female changing rooms unannounced and then return to harangue the OP.

The first part is only true if he knew that a customer was still in the changing room though. The gym was closed. It's quite reasonable that he assumed all customers had left, seeing as it was past closing time.

You can't expect him to be knocking on every door and then waiting to see if it's ok to go in once the gym is closed can you?

Not every door. The one door to the female changing room yes. And again, this indignation that “the gym was closed!” Given people were using the facility until closing time, hardly unlikely people would be in there.

Very unlikely to be taking no notice of closing time to the point that they meander. Pretty much everyone would get a move on so they’re not in the same position as it closes.

The one door to the female changing room yes.

So how long should he wait for an answer from a potentially empty room? 2 minutes earlier and op would have still been in the shower so had he knocked then he likely wouldn't have got a response. Would it have been reasonable for him to have gone in and possibly walked into her getting out of the shower?

I do think it's reasonable that he didn't realise the op was still there, given she had left the pool more than 15 minutes earlier and that another customer had just left. Maybe he thought that customer was the last one? There is at least the potential there that this was just a complete misunderstanding especially because he left as soon as he saw op in there and when he came back he didn't come into the changing room.

How long should the employees give customers past closing time to vacate the premises? How long do they reasonably wait outside a potentially empty room before going in?

Given people were using the facility until closing time, hardly unlikely people would be in there.
You keep saying this, but the facility is the whole gym, and closing time is closing time as in people should be out of the facility at that time. Not standing naked after showering after closing time (having already been aware when leaving the pool there was 15mins til closing).

The fact that it's being suggested that people are totally fine to finish off at places after closing time is exactly the sort of attitude that leads to people like the OP thinking they can repeatedly ignore closing hours.
There's no defence for him being rude or abrupt, and in future he probably should apply opening hours principles of knocking when the gym in closed because some people are incapable of understanding "15 mins til closing" means "get out the pool, change quickly and leave", but the idea staff should routinely expect inconsiderate people to dither at their chosen pace is exactly how this situation arose in the first place.

I just can’t believe that anyone could find his behaviour acceptable - regardless of the time.

Op I would be shouting from the fucking rooftops about this

Wow OP some of what you have posted comes across really badly.

I'm going to give the owner of the business a chance to rectify this before I post any reviews online.

What do you mean by this? How will they 'rectify' it, it's not really like they can go back in time and change what's already happened. They can apologise, and even offer you a discount if that's what you're hoping for.

Yes, he was out of line, but as are you being now in your reaction.

The owner should apologise and ensure it never happens again. A male staff member should not be walking in on women who are undressed, full stop, and he should not be yelling at customers either. If he has something to say, he can say it in a calm and professional way.

I’d have ripped him a new one on the spot. Don’t care whether he is getting his cheapies or not, he needs to respect privacy in that environment.

So how long should he wait for an answer from a potentially empty room?

The question is irrelevant as he didn’t knock.

@LolaSmiles I don’t agree that the fact the gym closes at a particular time means that the whole premises would necessarily be empty one minute past that time and ready to be locked up for the night.

And before you start no I don’t go to places just before they close as I have a phobia about being locked in places so I would never put myself in the position the OP did. That still doesn’t excuse the male employee’s behaviour.

I’d see closing time as after I’ve left. Not the point where people are getting ready to go.

I wouldn’t want men knocking or shouting before entering during opening time however.

Ie I’d expect them not to need to enter at all.

CareOfPunts
I think that's going to be agree to disagree on that front then.
I've seen and heard too much cheeky fuckery from people who have a total disregard for closing/ending times.
e.g. friends having to wait an hour for a bus because some people decided that they'd meander around a shop at 5 to closing time, ignore the tannoy announcement and then make their way to the till after the final"this store is now closed" and the shutters are half down.
I've stood in the freezing cold after school trips because some parents decided that the pick up time was optional and they just nipped to the shop on the way / needed to drop their DC off. On one occasion I had to wait over an hour and miss my evening plans.
Other friends in cafes have cleared entire cafes up around people and have been given the most uppity response about being humiliated and shouted at by CF who think "closes at half 5" means "as long as you've ordered by half 5 then you can sit and drink and chat at your leisure".

To me, being told the place closes in 15 mins so get out the pool means you get out the pool and you get your skates on so you can leave before it closes. Grabbing your coat and leaving at a minute or two past is understandable. Being stood stark naked isn't.

I won't excuse any rudeness from him and if he'd walked right in during opening hours without knocking then I'd be saying he was out of order. I don't think it's wrong for any member of staff to stand at the outside of changing rooms telling someone who wasn't dressed after closing time they need to hurry up.

Did anyone hear what Joe Swinson said about men entering woman's toilets with mop buckets? This sounds similar.

Don't mean to patronise the OP, but it's entirely possible the gym employee knocked a couple of minutes before, and was told (by the cleaner) there was only one customer left, and she'd be out soon - meanwhile OP was still in the shower and didn't hear the knock. The poor bloke waits for the last woman to go so then thinks he's ok to go in as everyone's gone. Mistakes happen.

His tone with OP (and the other customer) is somewhat out of order, but walking in on OP might not have been.

There is at least the potential there that this was just a complete misunderstanding especially because he left as soon as he saw op in there and when he came back he didn't come into the changing room.

But then an "oh gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise anyone was still here" would probably have made this a slightly embarrassing non-event. But that sin't what happened.

What has the Owner said?

There is little excuse for the 1st time but could be explained as poor judgement
The 2nd tims should get him sacked