Male gym employee walked into female changing rooms while I was naked

[ShakinScarecrow]

I've recently joined a private family owned gym & spa.
It closes at 8pm on Sunday. The female changing rooms are open plan with 3 showers and no cubicles.

This evening I went swimming and left the pool at 7.45pm when asked to by a female employee. I then had come out of the shower and was naked at 8.01pm when a male employee walked into the female changing rooms.

There was a female employee cleaning, and another gym user who was dressed and just leaving the changing room and as she left he told her off for being late and said he would cancel her membership. It was at this point he walked right into the changing room, saw me naked and walked out. He did not knock, or announce he was coming in, or check if anyone was in there. He did not apologise not did the female employee.

Another female employee then came in, so there were 2 of them in there.
A minute or so later he came back in and I said "please don't come in I'm naked". He then stood by the door, where he couldn't see me, and told me off (I can't remember exactly what he said) asked how long I was going to be and said he would cancel my membership then left.
I said to the female employees this was unacceptable and should I complain to the owner. I asked if my membership would be cancelled as it was 8.03pm at that point. They said that they would let the owner know and someone shouted at this employee in the male changing rooms recently so he was in a 'bad mood', also that I shouldn't worry and he wouldn't cancel my membership as he just said that because of his bad mood.

I quickly dressed and left by 8:05. The 3 female employees were still cleaning various areas of the building. I don't know if any other gym users were there. As i left he was at the front desk scrolling on his phone, he did not acknowledge me.
I sat in my car and cried.

I know they do close at 8pm and he came in at 8.01, so it was after closing time. However, the staff were not waiting to leave and were still cleaning. He could have asked a female colleague to speak to me.

I've come home now and have a range of emotions- anger, humiliation, indignation. I'm absolutely going to complain to the owner. I don't feel comfortable going there again while he's there.
What should I do?

You should have left on time, he shouldn't have entered without knocking- both of you have been unreasonable.

Hotchox

That's what I think too. They didn't realise she was there

@LolaSmiles I’m well aware of such CFery. My husband works in hospitality and is frequently in work an hour and a half after the restaurant “closing” time as people wander in at 5 to 10 and have a leisurely dinner. Occupational hazard in service industries to an extent.

The poor bloke waits for the last woman to go so then thinks he's ok to go in as everyone's gone. Mistakes happen

What’s with the “poor bloke”?

Also OP shouted that she was in there and naked and he left, and then came back in.

“Poor bloke” who didn’t realise she was there, my arse.

*wasnt there

Don't mean to patronise the OP, but it's entirely possible the gym employee knocked a couple of minutes before, and was told (by the cleaner) there was only one customer left, and she'd be out soon - meanwhile OP was still in the shower and didn't hear the knock. The poor bloke waits for the last woman to go so then thinks he's ok to go in as everyone's gone. Mistakes happen

Poor bloke bloody wants to ban her! Not poor at all but a twat.

CareOfPunts
It's out of order though.
I don't see why we should accept people's rudeness and ability to accept closing times apply to them as an occupational hazard.
If we think about the advice given to people who deal with CFs in their private lives it's about being firm and having boundaries, not enabling selfish and entitled behaviour etc.

The same applies in the workplace too. We regularly tell people not to be put upon by colleagues, not to feel pushed to work unpaid overtime etc.

Yet for some reason when it comes to cheeky fuckers expecting places to stay open late around their dithering, workers to work unpaid around their faffing etc, some say it should be expected and tolerated. It shouldn't and the more it is challenged the better in my opinion.

The people who seem to be CF and show no regard for others, in my experience, also tend to be the drama llamas after being challenged by staff or told to drink up or told they can't go through the till as the till is off now etc. They take the piss and then are the first to complain about being "told off" or "spoken to like a child" which makes me think they're just people who don't like being told to sort themselves out.

Maybe if the OP had been properly challenged on the multiple occasions she's shown no regard for closing times she'd have realised that staff might actually have lived and homes to go to instead of having to hurry her out the changing rooms because 15 mins notice wasn't enough for her to get a move on.

There are some very bizarre replies on this thread, the one about him identifying as male or female is funny and scary at the same time. But OP you also must understand that if a man invades your space to perv on you then as a woman you must take at least some responsibility for his behaviour, it is one of the rules of misogyny.

LolaSmiles

Well said.

I'm amazed that it apparently took the op 15 minutes to shower and yet only 2 minutes to go from naked to fully dressed and leaving. Maybe if she'd sped her shower up a bit none of this would have happened.

@Muminabun 🤣

Muminabun
I agree on the rule of misogyny.

However,
He didn't enter the space to perv on her - the gym was closed and she was standing naked after closing time, he left on seeing her naked and didn't enter again. When he came back, he called from the door (presumably not to perv having walked in previously).

The OP isn't responsible for his rudeness at all.

She is, however, responsible for her own inability to be told the gym is closing in 15 minutes and to still be dithering after closing time to the point a member of staff had walked in, gone away and returned to hurry her up.

If you enter a female changing room at 8.01 it’s very likely you will intrude on a naked or nearly naked woman.

In every gym / swimming pool I’ve been too this would be unthinkable.

Even at work, where men and women are fully dressed, the cleaners will put up a sign if they’re entering toilets of the opposite gender.

Our workplace has mostly female cleaners, so they always put up a sign in the make toilets that a female may enter to clean the toilets.

If this is going to be a regular occurrence then the very least they could do is put up a sign.

I would complain OP, you shouldn't pay the penalty of naked humiliation for being a couple of minutes late. That is stupid.

Whenever I have to lock up the changing rooms at night I open the door and call ' hello, is anyone in here? I have to turn the lights off and lock up now' before going in.

In what world is it "very likely" to see a naked woman in a changing room at 1minute after closing? Someone fastening their laces perhaps or brushing their hair, but naked? At that specific stage of "getting ready"? I mean, if he is a peeping tom then he's got his timings nailed as apparently 2 minutes later she was fully dressed and 2 minutes earlier she was in the shower.

I wouldn’t be in a job if I went round telling people off who were late leaving.

His behaviour was outrageous, he is working in a service industry, one that the OP is probably paying very handsomely for. You offer a good friendly service, you want the customer to come back, so that you still have a job. Even if the customer wasn’t finished at 8.30 you suck it up, you still need to offer exemplary service. Telling you off, threatening you and walking in on you - I hope he does lose his job. His behaviour was completely unacceptable.

In my opinion you did nothing wrong.

Slat so you think that service workers should "suck it up" and work for free when it suits the customer?

8.30? Do they get paid for this extra half an hour out of interest

Slat so you think that service workers should "suck it up" and work for free when it suits the customer?

everybody sucks things up at work, not just the service industry.

I certainly don't "suck it up" and work for free. Nor will I, nor should I.

No one in that kind of work should do an extra half hour unpaid.

It’s why nurseries put on late fees because people will not think about staff who have to leave.

Why do you assume his wages stop at 8?

When the supermarket/pub/nightclub/restaurant/theatre/cinema etc etc close at x o’clock, you don’t see a mass exodus of staff leaving on the dot. Of course you don’t, there are jobs behind the scenes that still need to be done and the staff would still be being paid.

Did he come into a cubicle?
Are there signs saying men might come into the female changing room?

I think I would call 101 and ask for advice, I would also write a formal complaint. Are they on trip advisor?

And no, it doesnt matter that you were slightly late out. That doesnt give male employees the right to walk into the womens changing room when women are naked in there.

Maybe Suck it up was the wrong word, but if you want a good job and to keep it, and to progress in your career, then leaving on the dot is not something that will get you far.

and the staff would still be being paid

I wasnt in the shop i worked in

Big name, high street store, at the higher price point

In something like retail everyone should feel they can leave on the dot and do their job well enough to progress if they want.