A place to say what you need but can’t have.

[biggirlknickers]

I need (but can’t have):

A couple of moths off work to catch up with sleep and reset my body with regards to good food and exercise.

Another couple of months off work to sort out the grimy corners of the house, declutter and reorganise.

A couple of thousand pounds in savings.

A car that isn’t about to break down, a sofa that isn’t 30 years old, a wardrobe instead of a rail, a garden and a cleaner.

A chat with my mum (died 20 years ago) - I’d like to know what she thinks of her grandchildren and if she thinks I’m doing an ok job bringing them up. I’d also like her to cook me a lasagne, read me a story and tuck me into bed .

I want all these things but can’t have them and can’t even tell anyone I want them, because I have to be the strong one, the wise one, the breadwinner and the capable one. So I’m saying it here.

What do you need but can’t have?

Watching

Good idea Inebriati, thanks.

I need the clinical trial I’m on to work.
My husband to acknowledge his issues, work on them including his anger and resentment at me, and to stop drinking again - he is a high functioning alcoholic.
My nerve pain to go away.
Things I do have:
A beautiful four year old
Amazing parents and friends
A great job which is very flexible
A lovely home and a new car
Enough money.

So lucky on lots of things - just two major issues, my health and my marriage

For my lovely Nan to have met my little boy. She so desperately wanted to be a great grandmother. Our 12 week scan was a year to the day I saw her awake for the last time.

For my Grandma to be her old self. Dementia has eaten her alive in the space of a year and she no longer knows who she is. I just want her to be happy again.

But I do have a beautiful 2 week old baby boy, a boyfriend who loves me dearly and a wonderful family. The house is warm, there is food on the table and my heart is full. I feel ungrateful to be wishing for more, really.

I'd like to bring back my kids dad who died on Wednesday so they stop hurting. I'd also like to be able to take them to New York to mark the 1 year anniversary of his death but cant afford it. I'd like to bring back my moms parents cause I'm told they were amazing people and also my dads father cause my mom said he was the kindest loveliest man she had ever met. I obviously didnt get the opportunity to meet my 3 grandparents .

This thread made me cry. My list:

A friend.

A non abusive family.

DP to want to marry me and have a baby.

I'm so lonely.

To have a pair of fully functioning legs.

I just need a tiny bit more money. Just enough so that one month I don’t have to pay the bills and then say no to every other extracurricular activity... ( I appreciate that I’m lucky in getting to pay all the bills and have a roof, I really do)

But wouldn’t it just be NICE to take dd’s out for a lunch!? Or to even go to Costa and take them for a drink on the way home from school. I had so many plans of my life and having dd1 sort of put a stop in university plans a year in (she was a very lovely surprise). So yes- just a little bit of extra free-spending non-guilty frivolous CASH

Oh what have I started. Such sad stories. I hope everyone who has posted has some relief from saying what they need.

You are all amazing.

Un-mumsnetty hugs to you all.

Well I obviously didn’t RTFT...

Truly I’m sorry for the loss you have experienced, and feel extremely privileged to not be in your position. Thoughts are with you through what must be a really tough time

To go for a coffee and a catch up with my late mum. Miss her so much it's painful.

I feel bad putting my two penneth in, having read all the heartfelt posts above, but here goes:

My dad to not have dementia
Me to not have to be his carer as he won't accept any formal care
My daughter to get into a good secondary school and be happy
My husband to feel less worthless and a failure (I think he's great)
To have a new roof on our house
To not need extensive, expensive but essential dental work
To have a sister that was nice to me and not spiteful and angry at me or my dad all the time
To not have every fucking penny we earn have to go on repairing my teeth, and this money pit of a house. We never seem to get ahead financially no matter how hard we try.

I would like someone to understand me, completely.

My health back.
My Mum and Dad alive again.
My husband's family to be just a little less toxic.
And on a less serious note, to find the sodding letter that tells me what time my doctor's appointment is tomorrow.

A holiday
A hug
A pill that makes me laid back in all situations
A job that pays well and doesn't stress me out.

@topcat2014 saw your journey - so sorry you are in this place - sending very best wishes.

I want my daughter's father not to have stage 4 cancer. 😞

Not to have been raped and living with ptsd now from it

Parents who loved me without always putting themselves first.

Friends.

To be free from worrying desperately about everything.

Enough money to be able to retire at some point.

To take my Dad down from Heaven for a chat ( lost him when I was 7 😔)
To have watched both my nieces grow up (the Angels called them home before they had a chance to see this world)
To take my Mum back from Heaven we had our ups and downs but she was taken so suddenly in January.
To give birth to my little girl again without all the trauma and mistakes that were made.
To not have crippling PTSD and feel normal for once.
To give my friend her very much loved husband back and the kids their Dad. He passed away very suddenly and so young.
This tread has me in tears.
We are all warriors in our own way.
In my Mums words Fits Afore ye wanna go past ye. She also used to say guilt worry and people who do you wrong should not have the privilege of wasting your time 💝.
Big hugs to you all. Away to continue sobbing into my coffee xxxxx

My ex I'll never love anyone like I love him.

For my mental health to improve. If it doesn't I think I'll end up in hospital.