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Original poster

A place to say what you need but can’t have.

121 replies

biggirlknickers · 01/12/2019 19:58

I need (but can’t have):

A couple of moths off work to catch up with sleep and reset my body with regards to good food and exercise.

Another couple of months off work to sort out the grimy corners of the house, declutter and reorganise.

A couple of thousand pounds in savings.

A car that isn’t about to break down, a sofa that isn’t 30 years old, a wardrobe instead of a rail, a garden and a cleaner.

A chat with my mum (died 20 years ago) - I’d like to know what she thinks of her grandchildren and if she thinks I’m doing an ok job bringing them up. I’d also like her to cook me a lasagne, read me a story and tuck me into bed Sad.

I want all these things but can’t have them and can’t even tell anyone I want them, because I have to be the strong one, the wise one, the breadwinner and the capable one. So I’m saying it here.

What do you need but can’t have?

OP posts:
RogGestYeGerryMentlemen · 01/12/2019 21:19

Sleep
Money

That's it really

weegiemum · 01/12/2019 21:40

My nerves to regenerate so that I can feel my arms and legs, walk properly and not be such a huge burden on my family. (This one is physically impossible).

My mum to decide she loves me and wants to be in touch again, without me having to endure endless lectures about how it is All My Fault. (Which it isn't).

BertieBotts · 01/12/2019 21:45

A full night's sleep.

Some qualifications.

The chance to have a job I would enjoy.

A driving licence/the ability to drive safely.

An unscrambled brain/medication for my ADHD that works properly.

BlobbyTheLump · 01/12/2019 21:57

A conversation and big cuddle from my mum (died last year.)
Plus a big plate of her braised steak and for her to get into bed with me and cuddle me to sleep, like she used to Sad

For my partner to drop the evasive, distant knobhead persona he's wearing at the moment.
So close to losing my shit with him.

A week of sleep.

DD to stop answering me back

My Christmas shopping to be done and wrapped.

Someone to come and put the fucking lights on the Christmas tree for me.

Oh, and for my hot water to be fixed. Sick of lukewarm baths.

macaroniandpizza · 01/12/2019 21:59

For x to do the right thing
For me to put me first even though its so so hard to after years of putting everyone first

Thestrangestthing · 01/12/2019 22:05

A much bigger house so my mum can keep living with us as she is going to be screwed after her divorce.

Money, so I can retrain and eventually have a good career. (this will never happen because we can't afford for me to give up work to study)

A physio for my back pain, doctors are useless.

Inebriati · 01/12/2019 22:09

Money and good health would be amazing.

doodlejump1980 · 01/12/2019 22:10

I want to chat to my big sister and my mum. Both dearly departed. 😢
I want someone to come and declutter every room in my house.
I want friends who take an interest in me and not make me do all the running.
I want to eat cake and not put on weight.
I want to work for Pixar, or Lego or make props for cool films.
I want a personal trainer, a housekeeper and a chef and not have to chase my tail every day.
And a pussycat, but my DH is allergic.

Cherrysoup · 01/12/2019 22:14

For my dad to be here for Christmas. He died in July.
Bariatric surgery.
For my horse to be young and healthy again. I’m scared he won’t be here in the summer.
For the kitchen to be properly fixed. Why are some tradesmen lying incompetent wankers?

Babyfg · 01/12/2019 22:56

This thread made me cry.

The big conversation with my mum and for her to meet her grand children is what I would want more than anything. I think of that so often. It's so not fair.

SnowsInWater · 01/12/2019 23:04

A 100% guarantee that my cancer is not going to return so I can just get on with my life and not be crippled by health anxiety and I can reassure my kids.

Strugglingmum73 · 01/12/2019 23:04

Some space and time to myself

A lie in

My daughter not be be so angsty

My other daughter not to be so controlling

My Dad to call me (he died 6 years ago)

KatyaZamolodchikova · 01/12/2019 23:09

To be able to sort and sell the house for enough money that we’re not in negative equity. Just enough to break even would be amazing

For work to stay in it’s current location and not move 15 miles away right before Christmas

For my Ménières to fuck right off and for all the damage it’s caused to be reversed

Dowser · 01/12/2019 23:27

Some really sad ones here.
Especially those that are struggling with ill health and recently departed loved ones.
I’d love my dad to meet his great grand children.
He’d round them all up and take them to the woods and cook sausages in a frying pan over a little stove...like he did with my kids.
I’d like him to meet this husband..they would like each other and could go for a pint.

I’d like to meet this husbands mother..she sounds a fabulous character and I think we’d get in great.

I’d like my husband to get his peripheral vision back so he could see to drive and not have Arrthymia...that’s all caused a lot of anxiety and tension in me.

I’d like my son to have a proper job without 4 years of study..it’s hard seeing them struggle financially

I wouldn’t mind some better health for myself

I’d like to go back in time to my great grandparents and ask them about their lives. Why they left Ireland. What life was like. Make notes and write a book...same with my grandmother , one of their daughters. She had to go into an orphanage with her sisters when her dad died...no benefits then, it must have been horrendous
Then my mum..write it all down..I have such hazy memories of her childhood

I miss my Persian cats..I can’t go through losing another pet again..too distressing.

I’d also like to go back and chat to my junior school head maSter. Such a clever man. He was the town historian and had soup he amazing stories. Also do the same with my Latin teacher..she was straight up and down , grey hair in a bob with a grip to hold it off her face. Her skin was like a pickled walnut. She’d been a missionary before she became our teacher...I’d have loved to hear all about Her life..I was terrified of her..but then she became my 6 th form teacher ...and she mellowed a bit and was not as scary as when she first presented herself when I was 12 years old and learning Latin.

I love to hear people’s stories.

tableanadchairs · 01/12/2019 23:34

I need
DM and Ddad back for a day- l miss their wisdom so much
To be happy
DD2 to have the strength to get away from her abusive bf
Sleep which is not my friend
Strength to get through the rest of my life
A backbone

GoldfishGirl · 01/12/2019 23:37

I could do with:

These nagging work jobs to be done
A tidy home
Losing a stone in weight and toning up
About £5,000
A fella

I did have a massage, yoga class and slept for 12 hours - I was cracking up before and it feels like a couple of weeks holiday.

SunsetBoulevard3 · 01/12/2019 23:39

Happy harmonious family relationships .
Peace and goodwill.
Not hearing the word Brexit ever again.
Not hearing the word politician ever again.
Sun! Warm sun that is...

tunnocksreturns2019 · 01/12/2019 23:41

I need:

*My late husband
*My faith
*My hope for the future
*People to understand what it’s like to have lost the above under 40 whilst trying to parent young kids and work.

Oh, and I’ve got a really annoying mouth ulcer so I couldn’t eat my first advent calendar chocolate! So I need that to go to 🤣

On the plus side, the things I have include:

*A loving family including hilarious DCs
*A safe and cosy home
*A decent job
*A warm cat.

Flowers to all.

mybonniedearie · 01/12/2019 23:45

To ask my grandad if he thinks I’m doing the right things .

To have some confidence in myself and some independence . I’m desperate to have my own home, my own family, to make my own choices and decisions . At 28 being told what to do in terms of going to bed or whether you can go out, or use the washing machine, is mortifying and demeaning .

To have help from someone and to have someone who’s got the time to listen and to hear me and talk back .

To lose 12 stone in weight, I’m 22 stone and feel like a fucking whale .

Jupiters · 01/12/2019 23:47

My DH to get a job closer to home (the commute is horrendous).
A personal trainer (or preferably a magic way to lose 2 stone!)
A cleaner
To move to a detached property... Or at least somewhere without noisy neighbours.

ParkheadParadise · 01/12/2019 23:53

To be able to hear my dd's voice again.
To show her Dd2, who was born 2mths after she died.

managedmis · 01/12/2019 23:53

A, D, and most of all S, I'd love a long hot fuck with you.

I made a huge mistake marrying my H but now I'm stuck.

An old mate from long ago who did not judge

managedmis · 01/12/2019 23:54

Flowers parkhead

MyKingdomForBrie · 01/12/2019 23:58

My dad back. He never met my dh or my babies and they would have adored him, and he them.

Most of these posts are so heartrendingly sad, I'm so sorry for everyone suffering with loss, ill health, sadness and anxieties.

Butterfly02 · 02/12/2019 00:09

My health.
My kids health.
For the dc to be dc not carers, to not have the worries they have on their young shoulders.

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